TW - termination

Oh op, look at the 2 you have and ask yourself would you get rid of one of those for another holiday? Of course not.

You've 'found yourself' to be pregnant. You need to do the responsible thing and have it. It's a child not a pregnancy.

May be an unpopular opinion but you have asked for other people's thoughts.

But the OP asked! And you are making a moral decision that it is ok! Just a different one.

I’m not sure why personal morality comes into it for any woman that isn’t the one making the decision.

We're not considering whether a woman should be able to choose, but whether (under circumstances where she can) certain reasons are good enough. It is completely possible to support legal access to abortion but think a) there should be limits (e.g. not abortion at 39 weeks) and b) even when permitted, certain reasons remain morally repugnant though they should not be legally prohibited.

OP please consider getting non directive counseling about your decision. BPAS offers it and has a list of other trusted organizations on its site https://www.bpas.org/abortion-care/considering-abortion/advice-and-counselling/

Like you, many people will judge under certain
circumstances, even when pro-choice.

But ultimately, it’s legal to terminate for most reasons, even frivolous ones. You have to just let people crack on and make their own choices.

This thread is about OP’s choice. If it’s upsetting, it’s best to just hide the thread rather than debate it.

I am in favour of choice, end of, as I said. As per the laws in the UK.
Stop repeating yourself.

Do you think women should be able to make decisions about their own bodies ? Do you believe in Female Bodily Autonomy ?

Bloody hell.

This thread is enough to make anyone pro life.

I'm solidly pro choice but not particulalry supportive of aborting girls in their thousands (as happens abroad and increasingly in the UK).

So abortion because of a cleft lip isn't morally dubious? Or abortion because you don't want a girl isn't morally dubious?

Either you trust women to make decisions about their own bodies, or you don’t.

Female bodily autonomy should be a non-negotiable

"any reason" a morally repugnant argument. I don't think the OP should listen to anyone who has that stance.

So you would support:

Termination because the baby is a girl
Termination because my partner is coercing me (which is the case here, however gently).
Termination because the baby has a cleft lip and will have a scar and i don't want an ugly baby?

That's not someone whose advice i would listen to.

"Morally dubious" is forcing a woman to have an unwanted baby, and people do indeed judge that.

You don’t support her right to choose, you support her right to choose within the confines of what you believe is a legitimate reason.

I think wanting to take your children on holiday, and give them life experiences is perfectly fine. I also thinking getting an abortion because you don’t want a baby is fine.

Would I have a baby in this situation? Nope. I have a Child (young person) with a disability, and know that strain that puts in a family, you have to take into account that the risk increases as you get older.

Yes, the pregnant woman should have a choice, end of. That is what choice means. Others' views are not relevant.
The OP has not mentioned sex selective abortion?

What if you didn't want another girl? Would that be a good enough reason for you? Or because your partner is coercing you (which i feel is the case here, however gently), or because you've found out your child has a cleft lip?

Either you are happy with these reasons for termination or you, like most people, judge whether a reason is good enough. You just judge differently.

The "any reason is a good enough reason" is a very morally dubious argument.

And besides, isn't that precisely what the OP is asking - are these good enough reasons to terminate an existing life? Your answer is yes, mine is no.

Why am I an unpleasant person?
I fully support OP's right to chose. What is " judgemental " and " abhorrant" about that?

Any reason?

What about sex selective abortion?

Fortunately, you don't get to decide which reasons are "good enough" so you're not really being much use here.

My gut feeling is that you if you terminate you will massively resent your DH in time. You won't be able to help it, it'll eat you up. Best financial decision or not.

Yes I agree, the only abhorrent thing about this is someone judging a woman who loves her existing kids and wants the best for them. I really hope the OP isn't taking his/her views on board.

I'm shocked by how many women feel that men should be able to demand their partners get abortions -- hardly a feminist stance.

Many of the reasons given in the thread above are completely valid reason for not having children (holidays, job security, money to spend on existing children) but shouldn't the bar be higher when considering termination?

Like it or not, this child already exists and that changes the whole conversation. You are not considering the pros and cons of a hypothetical extra child, but whether to allow an existing foetus to grow into the child it will become. I think to deny that child the possibility of life, your circumstances have to be more serious (abusive partner, no job, no home etc).

That's unnecessary. OP wasn't asking for personal moral stances on abortion.

My moral stance on abortion? I whole heartedly support a woman's right to choose. Including OP's right.

That doesnt't mean to say I don't have a personal view point on materialism. Actually I feel that it is probably better to terminate a pregnancy if that child is going to be born into a home where it is of secondary importance to foreign holidays. One of the win win situations of abortion is to help ensure it will be born into a loving home and not one where it's presence will be resented.
But as you rightly say the decision is up to OP. And what anyone else thinks is irrelevant.

How far would you carry that, though? Is it ALWAYS better to have more children than financial stability? How poor should a family become before you would be more understanding about their resource to abortion services?

Clearly here, they're talking about not having foreign holidays, they're not on the breadline. But ...