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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Would you tell your ex that you are pregnant?

83 replies

emilytr · 05/01/2026 05:00

2 weeks ago I ended things. Dated for 2 years married for 4 Today I found out I’m pregnant . We talk but only about our son. I do not want to get back with him and I also don’t want to say anything to him. The only reason why it’s being considered is because I have really bad nausea. I work 2 jobs moved away from family years ago. I have friends that I’m positive would help if I needed it. Am I going about this the wrong way?

the reason why I left was because of the constant arguing, him putting everything before us and I got tired.

OP posts:

Dgll · 05/01/2026 16:14

CunningLinguist2 · 05/01/2026 16:08

Oh, do one, will you? You've one side of Op's story and straight in with "poor little men" and rules from me. It is an opinion. On a public, anonymous forum. Get a grip, lady (N*O'T an order - a suggestion/opinion for the slow row) :D

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Nice user name btw.

Netcurtainnelly · 05/01/2026 16:18

Why would you want to tell him if your having a termination.

No good can come of it.

Boomer55 · 05/01/2026 16:21

emilytr · 05/01/2026 05:00

the reason why I left was because of the constant arguing, him putting everything before us and I got tired.

If you're continuing with the pregnancy, and if you’ll be claiming CMS, then, yes.

Other than that, up to you.

lemonraspberry · 05/01/2026 16:26

If you are not continuing with the pregnancy than no, he does not get a say. This is about your body & your commitment to the child (financially & life choice) so he has zero input into this.

Twinkletoes127 · 05/01/2026 16:32

emilytr · 05/01/2026 05:04

I’m sorry if this makes any readers upset, but right now I’m leaning towards not going through with the pregnancy. I’m not sure how I’d manage.

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Your body, your decision and i think not continuing would be the best option all round . I hope you are ok

InterIgnis · 05/01/2026 16:43

No need to tell him, and especially not if it’s something he would be likely to weaponize against you.

It’s cold and flu season. You can tell him you’ve caught a virus and will need him to have your child for longer so you can rest and recover.

InterestedDad37 · 05/01/2026 17:16

If you're not going to continue with the pregnancy, don't tell him.
If you are, then I think you should.
Good luck, whatever your decision. Hope everything works out for the best.

SaveMeFromMyBoobs · 05/01/2026 20:55

If you were going to continue with the pregnancy - yes tell him.

If you think you want to get back together - yes tell him.

If you want the baby but aren't sure you could cope - yes tell him.

If you're 100% sure you do not want this baby and he may object to the termination therefore making your coparenting relationship for your existing child together more difficult - nope, lie.

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