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Original poster

Would you tell your ex that you are pregnant?

83 replies

emilytr · 05/01/2026 05:00

2 weeks ago I ended things. Dated for 2 years married for 4 Today I found out I’m pregnant . We talk but only about our son. I do not want to get back with him and I also don’t want to say anything to him. The only reason why it’s being considered is because I have really bad nausea. I work 2 jobs moved away from family years ago. I have friends that I’m positive would help if I needed it. Am I going about this the wrong way?

the reason why I left was because of the constant arguing, him putting everything before us and I got tired.

OP posts:
Gettingbysomehow · 05/01/2026 07:07

emilytr · 05/01/2026 05:06

No..We are done. At least I am.

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Quite honestly I wouldn't tell him if you aren't keeping this baby. He could well tell your other child that you are "killing" his sibling. My ex would have done that. He doesnt need to know and will just hold it against you.
I don't believe in telling exes anything about your life. Good luck with it

Maryberrysbouffant · 05/01/2026 06:59

You don’t have to go through with the pregnancy and in your position (assuming it’s very early days) I would make your own decisions and not mention it to him.

metalbottle · 05/01/2026 06:57

emilytr · 05/01/2026 05:04

I’m sorry if this makes any readers upset, but right now I’m leaning towards not going through with the pregnancy. I’m not sure how I’d manage.

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Anyone upset by this very sensible decision is an idiot and not deserving of your apology. Have the TOP and don't tell him.

HeNeedsRehab · 05/01/2026 06:56

If you’re not continuing then definitely don’t tell him. Don’t give him that power. There’s a reason you aren’t together anymore.

Get yourself to the drs asap and get sorted, the earlier it is the easier it is.

Ignore @Mapleleaf114 it’s easy to say you can manage (or should manage?!) when it’s not your reality.

CarelessWimper · 05/01/2026 06:54

I agree he only needs to know if you continue the pregnancy. Realistically what good is it going to do if you tell him and terminate? It’s just another stick to beat you with.

DonewhatIcando · 05/01/2026 06:34

Cupboarddoorknob · 05/01/2026 05:25

Tell a half truth. You’ve got abdominal pains and nausea and the doc isn’t sure what it is you’re waiting on some investigations, maybe it’s your gallbladder etc etc

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Absolutely this to throw him off the scent.
Its your body, your choice.
You know what you can deal with, if you don't think you can have another child do what's right for you.
❤️

Butchyrestingface · 05/01/2026 06:32

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If you want to have a pro-life debate, go and start your own thread.

@emilytr Another vote for not telling him if you don't intend to continue the pregnancy. You are going to have to coparent with your ex for many years. I won't risk getting off to a bad start on that point if I didn't have to.

CunningLinguist2 · 05/01/2026 06:25

If you're keeping the pregnancy, then yes. He is the father and does have a right to know that he has a child.
If you're not keeping the pregnancy, I suppose you can keep it private and not tell him, but obviously never ever throw it back in his face. If you don't tell him, you never get to mention it to him.

Mapleleaf114 · 05/01/2026 06:24

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moose62 · 05/01/2026 06:22

I would use the sickness virus excuse and if you genuinely don't want to continues with the pregnancy, and I am not judging, then I would suggest doing it as soon as possible.

SingtotheCat · 05/01/2026 06:19

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She works two jobs when most of us only work one. She’s on her own with her young son.

MammaBear1 · 05/01/2026 06:14

If your decision is to terminate the pregnancy, then I don’t see there would be any benefit to telling him.
You need to bear in mind though what you’d say should he find out later though. He may be angry/upset.
I hope it all works out for you.

Mapleleaf114 · 05/01/2026 06:13

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SorryNotSorry00 · 05/01/2026 05:59

emilytr · 05/01/2026 05:04

I’m sorry if this makes any readers upset, but right now I’m leaning towards not going through with the pregnancy. I’m not sure how I’d manage.

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Don’t apologise, it is your body and your choice, even more so as you would be an single parent. Have you considered talking it through with a non biased person such as a helpline, maybe BPAS? You might feel like your ex could pressure you to keep the pregnancy but this is ultimately your decision to make.

enidblythe · 05/01/2026 05:47

No way don’t tell him. At this stage too I d just get termination sorted asap and anti nausea meds from GP until then.

Original poster
emilytr · 05/01/2026 05:42

Thank you all!!

OP posts:
3flyingducksarrive · 05/01/2026 05:37

I terminated a pregnancy after finishing a relationship. I've never regretted for one minute not involving him in the decision making. I am fairly certain he would have pushed for me to carry the pregnancy and that was not going to happen.

Original poster
emilytr · 05/01/2026 05:35

Cupboarddoorknob · 05/01/2026 05:25

Tell a half truth. You’ve got abdominal pains and nausea and the doc isn’t sure what it is you’re waiting on some investigations, maybe it’s your gallbladder etc etc

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Thank you!!!

OP posts:
Newnamehiwhodis · 05/01/2026 05:27

Having been in a relationship with an absolute tyrant, no, I wouldn’t tell him. I’m sorry, OP, I know it’s a hard decision to make.
take care of yourself, above all things. Keep yourself safe.

Cupboarddoorknob · 05/01/2026 05:25

emilytr · 05/01/2026 05:19

After reading the comments I thinks that’s best. I just need to decide the best thing to say because he will eventually ask why do I need him to have our son for so long.

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Tell a half truth. You’ve got abdominal pains and nausea and the doc isn’t sure what it is you’re waiting on some investigations, maybe it’s your gallbladder etc etc

Original poster
emilytr · 05/01/2026 05:19

Cupboarddoorknob · 05/01/2026 05:17

Can you not just make some other excuse up for being unwell. I wouldn’t tell him if not planning to continue pregnancy

After reading the comments I thinks that’s best. I just need to decide the best thing to say because he will eventually ask why do I need him to have our son for so long.

OP posts:
Cupboarddoorknob · 05/01/2026 05:17

Can you not just make some other excuse up for being unwell. I wouldn’t tell him if not planning to continue pregnancy

falalalalalalalallama · 05/01/2026 05:17

If you're not going to continue the pregnancy then there's no need to tell him. Don't give him a second thought, there really is no need for him to know.

Original poster
emilytr · 05/01/2026 05:15

Eviebeans · 05/01/2026 05:10

If you don’t intend to continue then I wouldn’t tell him
There is a possibility that he would want to give the relationship another try if he knew
Why do you think you should tell him

the nausea I experienced had me bed bound. Only for help if my friends are not able to help out. And it would only be him getting our son if I’m not able to move around as much.

OP posts:
PruthePrune · 05/01/2026 05:13

Only tell him if you are planning on continuing the pregnancy. Otherwise keep quiet.

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