Would you tell your ex that you are pregnant?

In your particular situation, I wouldn’t tell him.

You have to weigh up the negative impact of having to carry the responsibility for your own decision alone with having to carry that responsibility plus his reactions and opinions on top of your own.

I really don’t think he’ll add anything positive to the situation. Lean on a close relative or friend who you WILL feel support and care from.

Then no, I probably wouldn’t tell him. It would seem easier and less risk of resentment if he would prefer to keep the pregnancy. He could weaponise the information against you.

Agree with others, don't tell him. If you plan to terminate it could make him turn very nasty. Sending hugs OP. Xx

I didn't know that there was rule about not mentioning this to men. Is it because it might upset them?

You are entitled to your opinion, but the OP isn't asking for advice on this so you are way way way out of line, and given what the OP is going through, downright cruel.

I wouldn't either way because if I wasn't continuing the relationship I wouldn't want him involved or thinking he has any sort of say.

Your GP can prescribe tablets for the nausea. They are meant to be safe but if you do want to continue with the pregnancy, you may not want to risk it.

Deal with your uterus, leave everyone else’s alone.

The OP isn't planning to continue the pregnancy

I don't think your "pro life" stance is very helpful.

The pregnancy is very much unplanned. Better no baby than an unwanted one.

As you aren't planning to continue the pregnancy - which sounds like the right decision, I think PP's idea to just tell him you are having investigations for some abdominal trouble for when you need him to have your son is sensible. There is just no point adding to the drama.

No: you are in a tough enough situation as it is without burdening yourself further by telling him which could lead to all sorts of shit from him that you don't need. If he wanted control over his fertility he could have wrapped up. I'd get the termination sorted ASAP though.

It's a shit situation your in but yes you should probably tell him but explain you dont want him back but he really should be in the baby's life good luck

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@emilytr I am broadly pro-life. However, in yoir circumstances, wrll done for leaving a man who sounds emotionally abusove, and if you have two jobs, not much of a provider.

Abortion os legal and you have very valod reasons to proceed: broken relationship, lack of financial securoty, yoir own physical and emotional health and being able toncare for your existing child. I'd support you to go ahead, and no I wouldn't tell him - it may escalate your present challenges.

Good luck.

I’m not sure what good can come of telling him you’re having a termination, but plenty of bad. He may well jump on it as an excuse to ‘punish you’ throughout the divorce process. Just say you’ve got food poisoning and try to get an appointment asap. There are medications you can take for HG so maybe a doctor would prescribe you those in the meantime? Sorry you’re in this situation.

I would not tell him. What a tough situation.

If you want an excuse for the nausea - I had labrynthitis last year, I was so dizzy I’d literally vomit even just rolling over in bed or walking too quickly. No other symptoms! Eventually it went away but I was unwell for about three weeks.

I think if you put in your OP that you were probably going to get a termination you would get a different vote result.

I wouldn't tell him if you are getting a termination. Get it done ASAP

This is a really disappointing comment.

Not your body or your circumstances- so not your choice to make nor your right to judge.

OP another vote for don’t tell him if you plan to terminate, which is your choice and your right should you wish to.

Agree with PP tell a half truth and say sickness bug/gall bladder whatever

Wishing you all the best. ❤️

If you’re bed bound with sickness and are considering termination, I would try and get one as soon as possible.
I wouldn’t tell your ex unless you change your mind and keep the pregnancy. The last thing that you would want is details of this repeated to your son, so I would only share with a close friend who you trust.

I wouldn’t tell him and if you need an excuse for the sickness go with gallbladder as this can make you ill for a long time not just a stomach virus that lasts a couple of days.

OP I read @Mapleleaf114 posts and eyerolled and though tell me you haven't rasied to small children solo without significant financial assets behind you without telling me you haven't rasied to small children solo without significant financial assets.
Absolute empathy failure on their part.

In your position i would have no qualms making this choice.

I would seek medication for an abortion immediately and say absolutely zero to him about any of it.

In a bad separation with an unpleasant man both an abortion and a new born can be weaponised against you.
One can be weaponsied a lot longer.

If you wouldn’t try for a baby in your current circumstances, don’t feel obliged to continue with a pregnancy. The mystery abdominal pains sounds like a good ruse. There’s no need for him to know.

My best friend was bed ridden with nausea before severe HG kicked in and she spent most of the 9 months in hospital, iv meds, a drip and steroids didn’t touch the vomiting, she spent the whole pregnancy vomiting blood her stomach was so empty and no matter how long she was on a drip they couldn’t flush her ketones out. She’d have needed to terminate her much wanted pregnancy to be home for her other DC as her DH needed to work and she had very little help besides myself and our other friend who basically did child care and her cleaning/cooking for the 9 months. So @Mapleleaf114 not every pregnancy is as easy as getting anti sickness meds. For some pregnant women they do fuck all.

@emilytr I’m sorry you're in this position, I had a termination many years ago and even though it was very difficult not being tied to the father of my pregnancy was worth not continuing the pregnancy tbh.

How dare you. Lots of mothers make that choice as is their right.