Would you tell your ex that you are pregnant?

SaveMeFromMyBoobs · 05/01/2026 20:55

If you were going to continue with the pregnancy - yes tell him.

If you think you want to get back together - yes tell him.

If you want the baby but aren't sure you could cope - yes tell him.

If you're 100% sure you do not want this baby and he may object to the termination therefore making your coparenting relationship for your existing child together more difficult - nope, lie.

InterestedDad37 · 05/01/2026 17:16

If you're not going to continue with the pregnancy, don't tell him.
If you are, then I think you should.
Good luck, whatever your decision. Hope everything works out for the best.

InterIgnis · 05/01/2026 16:43

No need to tell him, and especially not if it’s something he would be likely to weaponize against you.

It’s cold and flu season. You can tell him you’ve caught a virus and will need him to have your child for longer so you can rest and recover.

Twinkletoes127 · 05/01/2026 16:32

emilytr · 05/01/2026 05:04

I’m sorry if this makes any readers upset, but right now I’m leaning towards not going through with the pregnancy. I’m not sure how I’d manage.

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Your body, your decision and i think not continuing would be the best option all round . I hope you are ok

lemonraspberry · 05/01/2026 16:26

If you are not continuing with the pregnancy than no, he does not get a say. This is about your body & your commitment to the child (financially & life choice) so he has zero input into this.

Boomer55 · 05/01/2026 16:21

emilytr · 05/01/2026 05:00

2 weeks ago I ended things. Dated for 2 years married for 4 Today I found out I’m pregnant . We talk but only about our son. I do not want to get back with him and I also don’t want to say anything to him. The only reason why it’s being considered is because I have really bad nausea. I work 2 jobs moved away from family years ago. I have friends that I’m positive would help if I needed it. Am I going about this the wrong way?

the reason why I left was because of the constant arguing, him putting everything before us and I got tired.

If you're continuing with the pregnancy, and if you’ll be claiming CMS, then, yes.

Other than that, up to you.

Netcurtainnelly · 05/01/2026 16:18

Why would you want to tell him if your having a termination.

No good can come of it.

Dgll · 05/01/2026 16:14

CunningLinguist2 · 05/01/2026 16:08

Oh, do one, will you? You've one side of Op's story and straight in with "poor little men" and rules from me. It is an opinion. On a public, anonymous forum. Get a grip, lady (N*O'T an order - a suggestion/opinion for the slow row) :D

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Nice user name btw.

CunningLinguist2 · 05/01/2026 16:08

Dgll · 05/01/2026 07:51

I didn't know that there was rule about not mentioning this to men. Is it because it might upset them?

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Oh, do one, will you? You've one side of Op's story and straight in with "poor little men" and rules from me. It is an opinion. On a public, anonymous forum. Get a grip, lady (N*O'T an order - a suggestion/opinion for the slow row) :D

Dollymylove · 05/01/2026 09:54

Life as a single parent can be tough. The more children, the harder it gets.
I would quietly terminate without telling him x

LAMPS1 · 05/01/2026 09:14

In your situation, if your mind is made up, I would act as fast as possible and get meds in the meantime. It’s your business alone at this stage OP. You only talk about it to those who would be understanding and supportive.
Take good care of yourself and good luck.

AcidicTrifle · 05/01/2026 09:13

If you’re going to have a termination, it wouldn’t even cross my mind to tell him. There’s no benefit, and potential for a lot of drama.

If you’re keeping the pregnancy, of course you need to tell him.

Beeloux · 05/01/2026 09:12

I wouldn’t tell him if you’re not planning on continuing. It will cause no good and he may use it as ammunition in the divorce or get nasty.

As for an excuse, I’d say ovarian cyst. They caused me nausea and abdominal pain. You would need investigations (mri) ect which would bide you time. You could always say it’s ruptured when you have the procedure hence need him to have dc for a few days to recover.

Fernsrus · 05/01/2026 09:03

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Nasty Nelly strikes again.

DecafSoyaLatteExtraShotPlease · 05/01/2026 08:51

emilytr · 05/01/2026 05:19

After reading the comments I thinks that’s best. I just need to decide the best thing to say because he will eventually ask why do I need him to have our son for so long.

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You've got flu. You're in no fit state to look after your son, but you also don't want him to catch it

Alicorn1707 · 05/01/2026 08:47

Dependent on your decision @emilytr this may be of use

IsabellaGoodthing · 05/01/2026 08:37

emilytr · 05/01/2026 05:06

No..We are done. At least I am.

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I don't think you need to tell him if you will be ending the pregnancy and you are certain that you have no future with him. It would only cause upset. If you think there's any possibility of getting back together and being happy, then he needs to know.

TheCurious0range · 05/01/2026 08:35

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Not your body not your choice, leave off with the guilt trip

Mumof2heroes · 05/01/2026 08:32

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Wow! I think you win the prize for most insensitive post of the day. Well done 👏

Trethew · 05/01/2026 08:31

I terminated an unplanned pregnancy when my marriage was in its death throes. I don’t regret the termination, but I do regret allowing the marriage to continue with endless last chances before finally divorcing.

honeylulu · 05/01/2026 08:19

No need to tell him in the circumstances. Get it over with asap, hopefully you're early days and can have the tablets. Telling him is another complication you don't need. (My answer would be different if you were choosing to continue.) Make a generic illness excuse for the nausea if you need to but hopefully in a few days it will no longer be an issue.

Mariocatgran · 05/01/2026 08:14

@emilytrsorry if your not keeping the baby then I would sort things then get on with life

elliejjtiny · 05/01/2026 08:11

I wouldn't say anything if you are planning to end the pregnancy. If you need any help and need to give a reason, tell him you have gynae issues. Most people who hear that word won't ask for details.

Nevernonono · 05/01/2026 08:02

emilytr · 05/01/2026 05:19

After reading the comments I thinks that’s best. I just need to decide the best thing to say because he will eventually ask why do I need him to have our son for so long.

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You have flu, give yourself some time to decide your next move.

CaptainMyCaptain · 05/01/2026 07:56

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The OP seems to be choosing not to have this child so there is no need to tell him.