16yr old moving out - what do I need to do?

Yeah unless you pay her rent she can't can she? She can't claim homelessness as you're happy to have her. And she can't claim anything to SS as you're not abusive or neglectful.

Tell her she needs a part time job to save money and to work hard on her studies to get a good career, that's the quickest route to moving out. If she wants to be semi independent she can wait two years and go to uni, then just never come back? But tell her at 16 it's not possible.

Sorry if this has already been mentioned but in case it helps, I know the YMCA local to us has supported accommodation for young people, including care leavers and those with difficult home situations. Some of them are still at school doing A levels, so must be 16-18. They have individual bedrooms with shared kitchens and support workers on hand. Might be something similar in your area?

I moved out at sixteen. I didn’t have a happy home.

I ended up in supported living via a charity . They filled out all the forms for benefits for me. The issue will be that legally, she’s not a separate entity from you so she can’t sign a legal contract for rent. And no one will rent to her.

I also wouldn’t be paying her rent either. The reason I say this is that she needs to learn that you can’t just run off and expect people to pick up. It’s normal to want distance but not this way.

My advice would be to play along. Ask questions but not in a Judgy way. Things like “ Do you need me to come to house viewings with you?” Or “Do you need help writing a list for your new place?” Or “ Do you want me to help you write a budget up based on our house expenses?” . I’d also make sure to drop in things for the future that Implies she’s still welcome at home so she doesn’t think you are kicking her out like “ We are thinking of doing x at Xmas, what do you think?”.

I promise you, once reality sinks in, she’ll stay. But she wants a rise from you. If you do the above, she’ll most likely quietly drop the idea.

I had a stroppy son who at 15 used to tell us that he couldn't wait to leave home mainly because we had the nerve to ask where he was going and used to make him leave his phone downstairs at night. Eventually I asked him how the flat hunting was going? He had some savings and I explained that that might just about cover the deposit and first months rent and would he be ok paying that and bills every month?
Never heard a word about it again. He's just moved out into first flatshare at age of 22 now he's working full time. Honestly 15 is an awful age. Just buckle up and keep going but under no circumstances pay her rent.

No they won't have a duty to house her, why do you think they will? She's not homeless

She won't be able to access this until she is 18. Until then, any child with an identified, safe home , won't be housed elsewhere

Is there any supported accomodation locally? A family friend went through this. The daughter is autistic with highly suspected ODD (she refused to be assessed). She had a younger brother and two older sisters, all of whom did and still do have a good relationship with their mum. The daughter had a really bad relationship with her mum, to the point at 13 she gave her mum a black eye on the morning of her wedding. At 16 she left home and was in a supported accomodation until she was about 20. I believe it was 16-21 but they had to be in education. If they weren't in education, they had to move out. Unfortunately, she'll be about 30 and still doesn't have a relationship with her mum, but does with her brother, sisters, grandparents, dad and step dad. It's really sad. Her mum hoped that moving out might actually help the relationship, but it just hasn't.

Moving out isn't realistic, if she goes to the council they will call you and as long as there's no safeguarding concerns she will be told to go home. No private landlord will let out to here. If she is daft enough to say she will go on the streets or to an unsafe location you call children's social care.

Get some family therapy in order to identify what would help/ persuade her to stay with you until she's 18. At 16 she's basically got a decade's worth of brain development to go. She's extremely vulnerable towards older adults who could see her as an opportunity to get her to buy/ distribute drugs...
No, I'm not saying that this happens to all 16yo home leavers, but it is likely.
If she feels comfortable enough to stay with you until she's 18 she can try living away at university, where she'll be cared for in an abstract way - rather than thrust straight out.
I was made homeless when I was 14 and 15 several times. My brother was made homeless at 16 (council supported flat initially which was a drugs hotspot), and have had so many negative experiences related to that.
Therapy will help - go private and find somebody you all gel with.

She will not b able to sign any tenancy agreement in her own tight, she will at least need a guarantor. She will have to present as homeless to the local authorities. They will have a duty to house her, unfortunately a lot of these places are shared houses,imo totally unsuitable for young people. Hopefully she won't follow through with leaving home, before researching all her options. What will she do for money / rent/ food essentials etc.

Is there a family member she could go and live with?

then ask about council tax

I had a young girl sat in front of me aged 19, she’d had a court summons over non payment of c/tax

and then started paying it on a payment plan
then she had another court summons as she wasn’t paying the next years council tax bill

she didn’t realise you had to pay every year and this was the current years tax bill

she burst into tears 😞

so many teenagers do fall foul of council tax and have no idea of the expense

First and foremost I would be making her get a job. I dont know the family situation and dont want to comment on why your daughter would risk being homeless then live in her family home but if she want to move out then right this very minute she needs to learn responsibility and to pay her way. She needs to get a job even if still in school, she can work around school and she needs to either give you money for bills but you actually save that money for her for when she moves out or she needs to save it herself , at 16 she can find share accommodation or find someone's granny flat to move into, there are ways around renting when your 16 but she will still need to buy food and pay bills so getting a job and learning full responsibility for herself is the key. I moved out of home when i was 12 and stayed around in people's loungerooms or on bus stops or did baby sitting gigs for someone to stay and money, then tried to move back home at 14 only to be shipped to my abusive dads place where I stayed until I was 15 then made my way back to my mums by the time I was 16 and her boyfriend threw me out when I was seeing a man nearly 8year older then me so I moved in with him until i was 18 where i got my own little unit. I myself had a terrible home life and would rather have slept at the train station or couch surfed. But I worked from the age of 12, I did babysitting 12hrs a day most days at all different places until I was 14 and could get a proper job. When you dont want to be at home, if your working you can find the funds to find somewhere to put a roof over your head. But you have to work and be responsible for yourself.

I wouldn’t facilitate her leaving home at 16 - no way would she be safe out in the world and it would be expensive for you for no gain.
Hopefully you can encourage her to see that the freedom she seeks could be gained by getting great A levels and going to university.
This helped turn my 17 year old around so it’s worth hanging in there.

If it's as you describe I hope she doesn't get council accommodation as there are young people who are genuinely in need of it as they arent safe or have nowhere to live who need it more than your dd

My daughter did this. Because she was a school refuser she was known to social services, and was put into supported accommodation. It was awful and she wasn’t mixing with great people. It was very different to home. We just made it very clear that we’d always be there for her, and offered her space and support. It sounds a lot easier than it actually was

During Covid lockdown she came home, got studying (she’d missed a lot of school, but caught up) and is halfway through a midwifery degree

We’re all very close now. Her teens were a complete nightmare, but life now is good

What shit is she going to get together? She is 16 and needs to be in education,she's not suddenly going to get a job that will pay enough for bills and rent. So NOT even thing of paying her rent even if you did find a landlord who would rent to her you'll make her more vulnerable not less . She's mouthing off like all self respecting gobby teens do.

I left home at 16. I lived in a hostel for young people through the local authority. My mum had to confirm that I wasnt able to live at the family home. I then got a flat attached to the hostel and was on the housing list for many many years. I worked part time but back then couldn't claim any further support as wasnt 18 so had to do a joint claim with my then partner.

My sister also moved out at 16 with a friend. Friends dad tried to be guarantor on a tenancy, they were both working but it wasnt allowed so he pretended he lived with them (im not saying do that as its tenancy fraud but its not as easy as you might think).

Social services would be involved. If she was adamant she didn’t want to go back to living at home, she would be placed in supported accommodation or a sort of children’s home.

You don't do anything. If your DD wants to move out she sorts it all out. And copes with the consequences. You keep telling her that you love her and she can come home anytime.

It's the responsibility of social services until she's 18, not the homelessness team.

She could find a job with accommodation included. Like an au pair or hospitality job with on site accommodation. It sounds like she wants space and freedom, maybe it’d be a good thing if she took herself away for a year to grow up. Plenty of people have left home at 16 before.

Even if you just accept her decision it might be enough to make her feel listened to and help to break down some tension.

Basically your daughter is living in La la land. She needs to settle down, be extremely grateful for the life she has and hopefully mature fairly quickly.

Until she can fund the lifestyle she wants, she needs to knuckle down, do well at school. get a good job or degree, then the worlds her oyster - but only when she can pay for it.

It's lovely that this has happened but I don't think this is standard. I've seen teenagers having to live with family members who they have made allegations of abuse against but with a informal supervision plan, because there simply weren't places to send them.to.
Seen one poor kid moved 150 miles for a chance at a foster placement only for it to break down weeks later.

Absolutely this. The best she will get after a lot of wrangling and pushback from social services, plus you signing a section 20 with the LA, is a supported living arrangement (generally used by kids leaving care or no home to go to).
Drug use, antisocial behaviour, theft are pretty standard. I knew a really tough kid who would injure herself to end up in hospital rather than stay in this setting as she felt so unsafe.