16yr old moving out - what do I need to do?

She's testing boundaries and seems very spoilt and entitled like most teens these days. Saying you'll pay her rent if she can't afford it proves this. She's expecting you to push back just go along with it for now and tell her while you miss her you understand dhe wants to stand on her own two feet and that she will always have a bed and a place at your table should she want to return. I mean let's be honest she argues about washing a plate she isnt going to get far.

I’m sure it’ll have been mentioned but tell her what a great plan! Let’s do a practice run, she can go get a job and pay for everything at home, own phone, clothes, food etc!

I’d be worried about this too, does she have a boyfriend?
She’s clearly got some rose-tinted glasses vision of living a ‘wonderful do whatever I like’ existence and will find some means of doing so ( just pray that that doesn’t involve getting an older boyfriend who can pay for her)

Are there cultural issues or religious issues ongoing ?

Shamina Begum left for a "better life" but she must have been groomed & naive

She has not been allowed back into UK

An extreme example, however I see 9 year old on MN today with social media accounts
.......

I know a 17 year old who did this when her parents asked her to keep basic rules, go to college, not stay out for days, keep room tidy etc. She presented herself at the council and said she’d been kicked out - parents, when contacted said it was untrue. Council were sympathetic to parents’ upset but had to put her in a hostel and she claimed benefits. Parents persuaded her to come back after a few months, supported her through studying, work etc for a few years. They truly bent over backwards for her but she treated them and spoke to them terribly. She used to go off for days with men she met on the internet and had/has no respect for parents. She later moved out and has rewritten her past - told terrible lies (especially about her mother) and they rarely hear from her- she’s also gone NC with her siblings. Parents offered family therapy, everything but she wasn’t interested. The strain broke their marriage and deeply affected her siblings. The daughter just didn’t like her parents - she was and remains a horrible person who was egged on by her ‘friends’. In her thirties now and still blaming her shit decisions on her parents - especially her mum.
My advice is to let her go and work it out but do not pay for her and set firm boundaries. You must also look after yourself and any other siblings.

give her the plate back and tell her to shut it !!!

This!!!! I regularly told my mum how much I hated living with her and how I was going to move out on my 16th birthday and in my head that was absolutely the plan. She was stuck with me until I was 23.

she’s a teenager why have you told her you’ll pay her rent? Absolute madness.

give her a list of monthly outgoings with a typical rented room cost
ask her how she is going to PAY for it
stroppy 16 year old

Princess Diana (RIP) took her children to visit & volunteer in homeless charities.

In turn they are now taking their children.

Perhaps you could get her to volunteer at a local community food bank or soup kitchen.

Lots of people, including people that work are struggling with the cost of living. Even with the assistance of government benefits.

Some other countries provide no benefits & no free health care !

I would encourage her to get a job
If she starts saving up she will see exactly how far her money doesn't go and how much nicer it would be to spend her money on some fun things for a while rather than on getting by.
She'll also be mixing with adults which might help with a sense of perspective.

Well she has a choice, stay in the bosom of her warm family or go it alone, with no job or life skills by the sounds. 16 is young! Social will end up involved. But tbh, it sounds like a threat. Make sure you let her know you are not expecting her to move out at 16. If she leaves with no where to go, it could end in disaster in a few different ways.

This. I really think you need to share the kind of information she needs before attempting a big life change. Sit her down when she says it again, keeping it all factual. She'll be able to decide for herself thereafter what she really wants.

I am sure your 15 year old DD is capable of Googling and finding out how very difficult her life would be if she moved out.

Absolutely do not pay her rent. Sit down and talk figures with her and ask how she’s going to pay for it.

No, it’s not. That’s enabling. She would absolutely have somewhere to go - home!

It doesn't quite work like that. Councils have very little housing stock right across the country. She will more than likely be given a room in staffed emergency accommodation and her likelihood of getting a flat is virtually zero. Local Authorities have to ensure her safety not provide her with her dream flat. Does she know the realities of the situation? May be helpful if she was made aware of what's on offer, perhaps encourage her to visit the local council Housing section to find out what they can provide which will probably be a bit of a shock to her.. As far as paying for rent, in most areas private rentals are gone before they hit the market but it does depend on where you are. Perhaps stop enabling her by thinking of paying her rent. No doubt even though she says she doesn't like you, she will like your money enabling her fantasies. Perhaps tell her to stand on her own feet, get a job and then look for housing rather than you pay her rent. If you really want to keep her safe, make her grow up before she leaves. She doesn't sound at all mature and quite frankly, neither do you if you're complicit in her rather childish solution to not doing things she dislikes.. What you're proposing won't keep her safe but not enabling her will..

I know a couple of young people who have moved out, much to their family's despair

They hung around older people
Drugs, sex, sofa surfing, parties, alcohol or work for accommodation & food

What is the atmosphere really like at home. Are you perhaps turning a blind eye on some issues that are making her feel that way. My DD is the type that is going to leave home as soon as she can due to emotional abuse from DH. I didnt even realise their relationship could be called emotional abuse and have been on a very steep learning curve recently hence am divorcing DH. So worth reviewing the home environment and being brutally honest with the situation.

The phrase pissing in the wind springs to mind.
As you will be aware there's a chronic shortage of council housing.
Spoilt brat 16 yr olds aren't going to be a priority.

Might she be a good candidate for boarding for sixth form? State boarding? Some kind of bursary or scholarship? Or is there a relative she could move in with?
Sometimes sixth form age students do better living with a relative.

Sorry this is happening to you. My eldest daughter did this. On her 16th birthday she moved out while we were at work. She spent a few years living with various undesirable boys (they were all teens too) and my heart was constantly in my mouth. I don’t think I slept properly for a long time. She was diagnosed with a mental health condition aged 19. On meds, she settled but continued to live in not the nicest of places however was entitled to benefits. Now she is 33, has a decent partner, a stepchild and 2 shared children and doing much better (still with diagnosis and on meds and benefits). It’s so hard to go through as a parent and it took me a long time to breathe and just trust that what would be would be - hoping that all would be well in the end.It was watch and wait. I had counselling to help with the emotions I was feeling.

But the key part is allowing them to make the poor choices and, crucially, experiencing the consequences first.

Otherwise how will she ever learn that her actions have consequences at all? Swooping in to prevent her ever having deal with the negatives will mean that she will continue to make poor choices as she knows that mummy and daddy will always make it ok for her, which is very poor parenting.

Suggest look at some of these real stories

"Soft White Underbelly is an American YouTube channel by Mark Laita that interviews "people who are frequently invisible in society—the unhoused, the sex worker, the chronic drug user, the runaway, the gang member, the poor and the sick".

Do the council have to house someone who left a perfectly acceptable and loving home? Surely lots of kids would be doing this if so.

My friend did this when she was around 17 her parents were devastated and it massively affected the relationship that I had with her too. She initially moved into a hostel and then moved into what was essentially a squat. After the squat we really lost contact I remember going over and couldn’t believe that’s how she wanted to live and we were so far different I never really saw her after about 18/19. She massively seemed to loose her way but she worked and as far as I know she’s married with a kid and has a relationship with her parents. As her friends and knowing her parents we really couldn’t understand why she chose to do what she did, I’m unsure if her parents ever funded her though