16yr old moving out - what do I need to do?

Im answering the OP question. And taking the information on face value. Obviously (and i cant believe im actually having to clarify this) if anyone, 16 or otherwise, approached actually fleeing abuse, we would not contact the abuser. Jesus.

We do indeed have extensive training and deal with traumatic and harrowing information daily.

We also have quite an amount of teenagers who approach because their parents expect them to wash up and keep their room tidy.

I would advise that you get in touch with your council or CAB for advise. Lots of people have said that she could stay in temporary accommodation provided by the civil. I worked in Housing Options at the council (several years ago now so possibly out of date) and the first thing that was done when an under 18 presented as homeless was check with their parents (as long as there wasn’t a reason why that was dangerous to do). So if you’re saying she can stay at home then she won’t be counted as homeless and they won’t offer her accommodation. But do check with them for up to date information and local options. They offer advice to prevent homelessness as part of their service.

You dont need to take things so personally, I didnt refer to her or any one as a spoilt little brat, I specifically used the term brattish because thats about behaviour, not the person

I also did not say or imply I had zero sympathy for anyone. I have a lot of sympathy for the children who arent able to manage themselves because of the way we have disabled their ability to work with others as part of the fabric of society.

You'll note I said 'some young people'.

This isnt about you.

I did very similar to this girl, right down to counting the days, my life was absolutely 100% better after I left. I'm sure you'd describe me as an spoilt little bratt deserving of zero sympathy as well for preferring to live in a squat at 15 years old than in the family home.

Oh God yes, my mum used to threaten me with care homes too, until she realised I was open to the idea!

Some young people are brattish and their source of distress comes from centering themselves too much, society encouraging that and encouraging so much naval gazing they're completely self obsessed. Teens dont need any help to be any more self obsessed, its part of their CV, so society needs to teach them to have realistic, socially appropriate expectations and behaviour.

They become distressed when they cant get their own way, or are told no, or are reminded that the world doesnt actually revolve around them, they're not the 'main character'.

We do a huge disservice to children by constantly putting them in the middle of everything.

My son went into supported accommodation staff there 24/7 own room share toilet ahd bathroom. This one is aimed at 16-18 year olds

Hes now in semi independent but this one is for young people with mental heath needs. This one is staffed 6hrs a day he has his own room kitchen area and bathroom . He has to prove that he can manage money, look after himself cook food. There are weekly room checks. They are allowed to stay out. Thete are daily welfare checks via phone call. Plus fortnightly meetings ro see how things are going

I'm guessing that was a long time ago?
I did very similar to you and what the OP's daughter wants to do, right down to counting the days off. I didn't even make is to my 16th birthday though, I left just before. Despite the very precarious housing (and sometimes no housing) my life was so much better and a huge weight was lifted. My mother also threatened me with ending up in care or homeless, these threats sounded wonderful so in no way worked the way she thought they would.
I never went back and have never for a single second of my life regretted it.

I moved out at 16, worked, rented, no guarantor, no parental support. I'm not sure why everyone is acting like its so impossible. I was much happier and perfectly capable on my own.

Look at this post.
You know absolutely nothing about this girl and her life apart from the fact she is so unhappy at home she wants to leave absolutely as soon as possible.

Shame on you dismissing a child in such distress as a spoilt little bratt.

What on earth is wrong with you. She is a bratty teenager. Stop pandering to her. Just agree with her without arguing and clearly tell her that if she does walk out (she won’t) then you will have to inform the police and social services. I cannot believe you would be entertaining this. There must be a reason you are - as in you are fully aware of the underlying reason. As otherwise it is laughable

Exactly! Grandparents usually can’t cope with it all on their own either so rope in their other children to help out with giving up their time and finances too. Awful situation for everyone but the ‘young mum’, zero consequences for her selfish actions. Then repeats 20 years later (still early 30s) thinking parenting is easy. Anyway…. I’m off track. A discussion for another thread for sure.

Why on earth are you pandering to her?! She sounds like a spoilt brat and extremely immature and you’re enabling her behaviour. Be a parent!

I found my mum insufferable. Still do. She moved us in with 3 other teens into a 3 bed house when she got remarried I hated it. Couldn’t wait to go. Left at 17/18! It was hell. Maybe you need to look at why she wants to leave the family home

Is she aware that she will need to wash her clothes and plates if she moves out?

And the competition as to who has it worse, whose had the most stepfathers etc. Sounds like she's being influenced by these friends.

Seen this all the time. They can't bring themselves to say no as they worry about the grandchildren. Meanwhile mum's living a better life than anyone.

My mum used to say she would help us pack to me and my sisters It deflated our bubble immediately. Teenage girls are hard.
If you are worried your daughter seems more emotionally unstable than most maybe get her checked by a doctor if you can get her there. You may need some family counseling.

I would think the staying with friends criteria would only apply if the young person was totally unable to go home in this climate of housing shortage. Same as any benefits she would be entitled to.

Blimey, teen girls can be so difficult!!
I would say to prove to you that she can live independently she now needs to do all her own cooking, washing up, laundry, shopping, pay for her phone, not use your wifi, watch your tv etc. Do absolutely nothing for her. I think she’ll very quickly realise what a good life she has at home.

Well you’ve clearly raised a spoilt, entitled little shit of a child. Having a tantrum about washing a plate, and threatening to move out etc. Paying her rent, council tax, utilities, food etc for a separate property because she’s a trumped up little brat is hardly helping her long term.

If I were you, I would ignore all the moving out talk and focus instead on the fact she isn't happy and is upset with ye. She won't get very far anyway with no money and no clear plans. I would ask her what's wrong and is she ok. She must be pretty upset over something to feel like moving out.It could be worth hearing her out

My son used to leave home regularly at 15 over something or other. Always something small that started it off. He only ever called my Dad to pick him up or slept at a friends. He did once present himself as homeless at the local council. They contacted me and I assured them he left of his own volition. He returned home after I picked him up and as he got older, it got better. Stick with it, ignore the stupid things they say and let them go if they tell you where they're going. Perhaps your daughter needs to do what I did with mine, arrange for her to meet some of the homeless children in the area who have been kicked out on their 16th birthday. Hearing their stories would make anyone sit up and listen.

Stop responding or tell her she only has so many weeks / months to find a job and somewhere to live so she best start looking now . If she has a paddy over washing a plate now wtf does she think has to do it when she lives alone the fairies?
Why would you pay her rent what exactly is that teaching her she thinks she's old enough to leave let her crack on she will be back quickly once she realises the expenses and work needed when you have your own place .

Encourage her to do it properly. Look through house listings together, see how much rent and bond is. look at utility provider costs, ways of getting furniture new or second hand. Encourage her to make a list of all the things she will need, sheets, dishes, vacuum, pots and pans, soap, washing machine.

Then encourage her to check out jobs that pay enough to cover her expenses. Either it will deter her, and she will realise she's not ready, or she will do it anyway but have the best chance of succeeding.

She might even find that landlords and utility providers may not be allowed to have a person under certain ages sign tenancy agreements, I'm not sure what country you are in so I'm not sure what the legal age to sign documents is.

Does she want to keep pets at her new house? Check what hoops she will have to jump through for that, sometimes landlords are no pets, sometimes they ask for pet bond.