16yr old moving out - what do I need to do?

• Housing Duty: If you're homeless at 16 or 17, your local council's housing/social services must help find accommodation as you're considered a "priority need".

the reality is that as she has a “safe home” she will be told to go home unless you refused her to come back

housing have enough arguments with SS over care leavers and who is responsible, let alone a teenager who has a safe home to stay at

if she refuses to go home, the best she can expect is a hostel type place, possibly with a lockable bedroom.

I really wouldn’t pay her rent or do anything else to encourage her. Just don’t entertain it at all.

this is exactly right. She will hopefully be made aware as well that she is wasting the resources meant to protect young people who really do need the extra help.
I think the best you can do is say ‘that’s nice dear’ and let this silly tantrum burn out

She being a typical teenager. I wouldn’t pass any remarks tbh. How exactly is she going to afford to move out at 16? It’s simply not possible. Ignore as much as possible and if she has a tantrum just agree with her and walk away.

This was me at 15. I used to pack my clothes too. I planned exactly where I was running away too. In my head I would get buses to people I vaguely knew and turn up on their doorstep and they would house me for as long as it took. In reality I knew I was deluded and never actually went. Best thing my mum did was to say 'I can't stop you but I would be sad if you did.' It took the wind out of my sails.
Don't offer to fund anything. Don't shut the door if she goes, leave it open and she'll come back. (Probably quite quickly).

I used to process Housing Benefit back in the day. We would regularly get claims for 16 year olds who were living in Council run Homeless Accommodation and they generally didn't last a week before scurrying off home.

I would humour her and let her get on with it.

Why is she unhappy? What is her reason or reasons for wanting to move out? Why doesn’t she like you? In what ways does she disagree that she lives in a safe, happy and solid home?

I think you need to get to the bottom of why she wants to leave instead of jumping ahead to the what do I do to enable my child to run away?

What is so bad that she is feeling the need to run away from it? Something has given her the fear flight response.

She might try to claim she is homeless. You'll be contacted to confirm there is no home for her. At which point you say 'yes she has a home here'

She then says she cant go home and the housing department refer over to the Local Authority social care to say she may need care. A joint housing assessment takes place where housing will fob off their duty (because in reality they dont really have a duty as she isnt really homeless) and social care should do everything they can to say 'you're not coming into care you have a home, go home'.

If she refuses they'll reluctantly accommodate her but the rulez she hates so much are tenfold in care provisions. She wont or shouldnt get foster care at her age, it will be some sort of supported hostel environment.

She have limited money to live on, no room for treats or haircuts, not much clothing allowance.

A friend of mine has been through something really similar OP. She had terrible issues with her daughter from about 13 onwards, it was awful as she's a great mum and didn't have any issues with her other 2 kids. But they just didn't get on at all.

Her daughter was absolutely determined to move out at 16. My friend contacted social services in the end because her daughter started staying out all night, putting herself in dangerous situations.

She eventually moved into a flat, I think it was some sort of supported living for 16-18 year olds. She dropped out of college, got a job in a bar and hardly saw her mum for a year.

She's now 21 and is resitting her a levels, looks like she will be going to uni next year. Her and her mum are really close again. I think they needed a bit of distance.

It's not the same thing at all but my sister is 7 years older than me and when I was a teenager we wanted to kill each other. Once she moved out we got to have a new relationship. Now I'm in my 30s and she's my best friend in the world.

It's a really difficult situation but if your daughter is absolutely determined I'm not sure there's much you could do. I would try and seek some help from support services though rather than just pay for her to rent privately. She will need some help adjusting.

My Dad used to say ‘if you know of a better hole, you go to it’

Why would you entertain this? The system is there for 16 year olds who can’t live at home due to abuse etc. or have been thrown out.

nod and smile and wait for her to come up with a viable option.

I have no experience to offer but just a handhold as this must be very stressful for you OP

I used to threaten this. I didn’t really want to. I once came downstairs one morning after a fight with my dad the previous night and he’d left a ‘go for it if you want to’ note on the table with a cheque for £1k.

It was horrible and I realised how much I needed my mum and dad.

I know this sounds like a suggestion that you shock her to her senses and I don’t know your DD but what I really needed was to know my mum and dad were a safe space and it scared the hell out of me.

Please just let her know she’s always safe with you.

I second that PP who suggested Childline. There is a section on the website (www.childline.org.uk) called “your rights” and it gives clear advice about being able to leave home at 16 whilst pointing out what the issues are. Generally there isn’t funding for 16-18 year olds so one can leave, but housing and benefits are real problems for a 16 year old.

This. Why on earth would you!?

I’m not sure that there would be many private landlords who would take in a 16 year old without a guarantor who would be liable for unpaid rent and any damages incurred.

She won’t be able to get a tenancy and social services don’t have resources coming out of their ears to rehouse teens with perfectly safe homes who just fancy moving out. She is young and clueless about the world. If she is absolutely determined to move out then let her shout her mouth off and expect her home with her tail between her legs as soon as the reality of her situation and the alternative options available to her become clear.

You nod along and let her delude herself that moving out will be a dream and she'll be able to pay the rent and all the bills and keep up with all the housework on her own.
I'd not even bother responding to it when she brings it up to be honest. I assume it's part of a regular strop when asked to do something she doesn't want to do? I'd say it's unlikely it actually happens, but if it does a very helpful MN has already posted the useful links above.
I'm sorry OP, it must be upsetting to hear.

No landlord would rent to her, and she wouldn’t be priority for council accommodation.

Reality will hit her soon enough I expect.

You make it safe for her by not doing it. If you enable it (though nobody will rent to a 16yo so doubt it will happen) of course she’d skip off. Living on your own at 16 is the dream. But it’s hardly safeguarding her is it? You wouldn’t have a clue what she was up to or who with. It would be totally neglectful.

if it’s a choice between staying at home or going in a hostel which do you think she will do?

I'd sit down with her, show her what a room share would be, all the costings etc and let her have a real look at how much independence costs.

Has she got an older boyfriend or older friends? She could live with them - maybe what she’s thinking?

There is a centre where I live for teenagers who cannot live at home. I think that would be her best option. I don't know how people get a place there though

At 16 she will likely be put into foster care won't she... some sort of supported accommodation.