Today I was harassed by a homeless person. AIBU?

But even her husband didn't realise something was very wrong.... And he knows her well, why would a stranger know better?

I definitely would help a woman (or man) being harassed if I could im sure im not the only one

She’d be taught better than to do what OP did.

Well I would have stepped in and said something, but I am always getting myself in trouble for doing so, so I kind of understand why people don’t. You tried to do a nice thing, just don’t think about it, it’s done. Probably not saying anything (you or anyone) was the best thing for the situation as the person might have reacted badly. But I have also learnt you cannot really rely on many people, and you have to look out for yourself. Not everyone, of course.

You can’t phone the police and tell them someone scared you and shouted at you earlier in Costa whilst you were buying them a drink. What would they do?

The quickest way to finish this situation is exactly how it played out.
The only way I would intervene is if op was a teenager or someone else I assess as vulnerable. Op is a grown adult with her own husband nearby, no one else needed to do anything, if they did poke their nose in then it would likely escalate the person's behaviour.
This person didn't hurt you, you were safe in a shop, they rambled and shouted and made you uncomfortable but you made it home unharmed.

I'm sorry this happened to you OP when you were clearly just trying to do a good thing in an unfamiliar situation.

A good many years ago I was harassed really horribly on a packed commuter train by a man who was totally pissed. He didn't touch me but was in my face saying terrible things. I was alone and afraid and tried to move away but couldn't. Nobody did anything to help and that was the worst bit of it.

I got off at the next station and a young man got off the train at the same station and was so lovely to me. He said he and he thought other people were afraid to intervene for fear of escalating the situation but that if the man had touched me they would have stepped up. Those words gave me comfort and I hope they do you too.

Just be kind to yourself and put this down to bitter experience.

You did nothing wrong but please don't think bad of others when you felt too intimidated to speak up yourself. They may also have felt the same.

Have you phoned the police?

I wouldn’t intervene if I’d seen you walk in with him and your husband. An actual lone woman being accosted by someone who is clearly a stranger - probably if I felt safe to do so.

This is why I don't engage with individual homeless people. I donate to organisations instead. I can think of a few similar incidents as yours that family and friends have experienced. You never know if they're dangerous, on drugs, or what. You were kind but a little naive to engage with him.

I think this is the crux, OP - you drew them further into the coffee shop by joining the queue with them rather than not engaging. Others weren’t sure how to react and I doubt the staff welcomed this. Unfortunately in cities you just don’t engage, sad as that seems. Mostly they just run in, grab a drink and run out. Try not to let it spoil your weekend, you instinctively tried to do a kind deed whereas others are more “battle-hardened”.

I would have just shouted my husbands name "FRAAAAAAAAAAAASER" he would have come running.

Although saying that, he would have most probably taken the person themselves, or just told him to fuck him off and leave us alone.

Maybe he should’ve said, I’ll get it?

Transphobe! 😓

Sorry this happened to you. I think a lot of the other commenters are being a bit harsh. I’ve been in a charity shop before and saw a woman in distress being harassed by a bloke. I asked if she was ok and she clearly wasn’t so I escorted her into the back staff area and explained the situation and the guy left.
in the summer a drunk man in the middle of the afternoon started harassing me and my partner, followed us down the busy high street threatening to kill us! For no reason!
my partner had no choice but to knock him out after he followed us into a shop. It was a very scary situation so I feel for you.

A person with drug/mental health issues to the level the OP described isn't going to be put off by someone pretending they know the OP. They were happy enough to shout abuse at her husband, they won't suddenly calm down if another scared women tries to intervene or have a chat. It probably would have made it worse.
I don't think anyone has been "vile". Honest, yes. It was a nice thing to do, but naive. The OP has a husband but instead of signalling to him, wanted another women to step in and save her.

These people don't want a drink. They want an excuse to start an interaction with someone. Don't ever put yourself in a position where you are trapped in a conversation or situation with them and can't walk away.

What were you expecting people to do? There's no way I (also a woman of similar age to the one in the queue) would stick my oar in. For all I'd know it's an awkward relative or someone you are employed as a carer for.

You haven’t done anything wrong, you just learned that sometimes it’s best not to engage and if you feel uncomfortable again, get away. Or, you can say something yourself.

YABU to be upset that strangers wouldn’t intervene when your own husband didn’t bother despite it being obvious that you were getting rattled.

I don't know why you expected strangers to help when your own husband didn't.
Your own post says My husband could tell by my face that something had changed and walked closer, between where we were and where my kids were so why not beckon him over?
I'm afraid the shop assistants aren't going to let you jump the queue, because as far as they can see you are just someone who is getting restless waiting. It would be unusual for someone in a coffee shop queue to be standing with someone they don't know but are buying a drink for, and to feel uncomfortable about being with. It sounds quite contradictory that you are there buying them a drink and yet wanting to leave, so anyone watching on might just think you are both a bit odd and best to ignore you both. The best solution would have been to walk away and very loudly said no.

I agree with this. Once I was accosted by an aggressive homeless man. He wanted me to buy him food. I went into the shop with him and he was being aggressive. I just said, no I’m going now. Leave me alone, I don’t want to talk to you. I left him in the shop and caught my train. You have to be polite but assertive. No one cares and they won’t help. Best to ignore them from now on, your safety is more important than what they want.

No one sensible is going to put themselves at risk if the person seems mentally unstable. Her husband was nearby anyway and she could have called him over or walked away.