To be really offended by what gp said?

She was trying to be nice. Imagine dwelling on something so blah to this extent.

You should speak to a therapist about that (no sarcasm intended). Psychiatrists aren't generally interested in the talking cure, but hopefully you have a psychologist or counsellor you talk to as well.

The trouble is, the GP was wrong to say this but they are only human and they aren’t perfect. Please don’t take this crass response personally, just see it as a GP who is a bit of an idiot.

I’m sure she didn’t mean to offend you,just made an ill thought out comment that struck a nerve.
i always assume people don’t mean to be mean and give them the benefit of the doubt.
I personally wouldn’t want it to bother me so much-it adds fuel to the fire of anxiety ( been there done that) and I wouldn’t like to keep ruminating over it either.

It was unprofessional for her to say this in a doctor-patient context. I wouldn't be offended (except perhaps generally by the perhaps unintentional casual homophobia) but I would be surprised that a trained physician doesn't know better than to voice this kind of archaic cultural ideal even if she herself still personally holds it. It would make me question her judgement more generally, I'm afraid. But in the moment, my reaction to "you won’t get a husband a child tomorrow" would probably have been a spontaneous and wholehearted "no kidding - and thank fuck!!"

People say daft things all the time. You can choose to take them this seriously, or you can roll your eyes and let them pass right over you.

I don’t see myself ever wanting them until I am better mentally.

She said you will get better and will be in a place to have a husband and child eventually. It was an odd thing for her to say but it sounds like you and the GP are on the same page.

That's awful. I'm so sorry. Totally uninvited and unnecessary. It's very common to hear these kinds of ridiculous statements from healthcare professionals. This won't be the last time unfort. Depending on my mood and energy I will call them out during the appointment or write a complaint letter, but it's also ok just to ignore them. Most of the time they think they're helping or being nice - sexism and ablelism is rampant in the NHS in my experience.

These deserve a separate thread. I bet others have similar to tell

And even if you DO want those things right now, or ever, it's poor of her to make that assumption in any case. Or to suggest that that should be a woman's goal in life. Urgh. I'm sorry, OP. Some people are still stuck in thr mid 1900s. I fully agree with you that she was wrong to say that.

Jesus!!

I had an appointment in my late teens with a male doctor to discuss the pill and when asked about my sexual activity and explaining I wasn’t active he said ‘don’t worry, someone will jump on you soon’.

That's awful, I hope that afterwards she thought why did I say that.

You sound awesome by the way, in your mindset.

Have you never said anything you regret OP? GP was daft and probably regrets it but I would just move on.

Have you ever discussed wanting a husband or children with your GP? As it’s a very odd thing to say, the only thing I can think of is she meant ‘you will get better, but it’s going to take time, just as it takes time to find a partner / have a child’ so trying to find an analogy, but an utterly crap and potentially extremely insensitive one.

Are you sure you didn't mishear her?

Don't talk nonsense. I have husband and kids and I’d be extremely offended at the insinuation that that’s all a woman could or should possibly want in life.

@Moivoi Is there any chance she could have misunderstood or misread something you had said prior to that?
It was clumsy of her at best and downright awful if there was no prior talk of children or marriage at all.

I once had a male gynecologist tell me if I didn’t stop complaining about my abdominal pain, I would never keep a man.

i wonder if the GP was trying to illustrate the point that you don’t have to have it all ‘worked out’ by your early 30s? She just expressed it clumsily.

Do you often take things to heart, or perhaps miss the ‘meaning’ of comments? Coupled with your controlling parents, your comments about GAD etc., makes me think that you might benefit from an ASD/ADHD assessment.

Ok then yes, YABU to be 'extremely offended'.

What the doctor said was bizarre though.

That’s so rude.

Not everyone wants a husband or children and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. I think she needs reminding it’s 2026 not 1926.

Mad thing to say, I'm sorry OP. GPs can be so clumsy. Sounds like you're having such a rough time, hope it all passes soon x

But I’ve done A LOT of work and have definitely accepted I am on my own path and what will be will be. I can and will live a very fulfilling life as a single woman if that is what ends up happening. I’m not going to judge myself in relation to conventional timelines. I’ve actually found that to be really freeing.

If this were true, surely you'd be 'rather bemused' and not 'extremely offended'??

I would definitely complain. Not acceptable at all.

How did she know that you don’t have either in the first place? Someone must have mentioned it to her, if not you then your psychiatrist.