To be really offended by what gp said?

So? Why does it matter if the OP might on some level actually want a family (but has decided it’s not possible)? That doesn’t make it remotely okay for the GP to say what she did.

An oddly judgemental thing to say I agree.
But otoh you do say in your post you did feel you let yourself down when you turned 30 and was single.
Maybe GP was more perceptive than you thought and you chose to be offended.

I’d say park it for now and discuss with your psychiatrist at your next visit

I’d say park it for now and discuss with your psychiatrist at your next visit

Just from reading your OP it's clear you still have a lot of emotions around not having 'achieved' a husband and kids yet, and while you say you feel positively about being a single woman for the foreseeable future (which is great), it still seems to be affecting you.

Do you think it's possible that in your consult you said some things that communicated that, without realising you were doing so? Otherwise it seems a very odd, entirely random thing to say.

Lots of people do find that periods are easier after having children

I'd suggest if it hit a nerve that's at least one of the issues you still have, even if it's not in the forefront of your mind.

She was wrong and presumptuous but you are over-reacting. The doctor is just another human being who said something stupid. I expect you say silly things sometimes - I know I do.

I'd be curious as to what triggered the current increase in anxiety, and whether it impacted on your response in this scenario. Yes the GP made a comment which was clumsy, however your emotions in relation to it are very intense, so I'd say YABU.

Stupid presumptious thing to say. But I don’t think it’s something to lose sleep over. Did you say anything to her about it?

You say that you’ve previously felt that being single made you feel as though you were letting yourself down, and that you’ve had to do a lot of work on this area suggesting it’s been quite a big thing for you in the past. Could it be that you’ve talked about it in a previous GP consultation, or that the private psychiatrist has been updating your GP (this would be normal practice) and has discussed this issue? Because a good GP will have looked/scanned through your notes prior to the consultation- so she may have read that this has been an issue for you and not realised there has been a shift in your thinking around it?

It sounds like she was saying that one day you will get better enough to have those things that (by your account) you want.

my guess is that you mentioned it ages ago and it was somewhere in your notes that she saw.

If not, then it's an odd comment but I wouldnt be phased by it... Because I have (genuinely) settled with my decision to not persue husband/kids.

But at the end of the day, if you're offended you're offended and asking in AIBU probably won't change your offended-status.

It seems like an odd thing to just come out with if you’d not mentioned relationships or children. Maybe she thought you were drug seeking, If you’re already seeing a specialist monthly. I’d try not to give it much thought. It’s not right but You’re 1 in 25-30 patients she’s prob seen or had contact with that day.

Hi OP sorry you are struggling but just as no one expects you to be perfect, you can’t expect others to be perfect and what she said was a little bit bad to assume that you were wanting a husband and a baby. But it wasn’t excessively out of order as in fairness a family is a wonderful thing for many to have and many people strive for this. It says more about her than you.

But kindly I don’t think you should deep it too much.

for motherhood to feel comfortable, i do think it requires an element of being laid back, perfectionism and high anxiety aren’t conducive to motherhood.

So no, it isn’t for everyone and you are wise to consider this carefully.

I think she was clumsily making the point that you are making progress and at 30 still have lots of time to make the life you want.

Certainly she shouldn't have phrased it to assume that's what you wanted.

It's something that anyone would be taken aback by, but the fact you feel so strongly is probably related to your anxiety and perhaps an underlying feeling you sound be aiming for that (you mention being a people pleaser.)

I'd use this as an opportunity to avoid letting random comments from other people derail you like this. You don't want to give your power away like this.

This is why my mother, a woman who has no maternal aspirations whatsoever, had me. And with, I imagine, huge pressure from society and my father. She was angry and resentful for the whole of my childhood.

Don’t be ridiculous. How is it disgraceful?

I just wanted to send a hug and agree that the GP was well out of order. I have suffered from anxiety all my life and have chosen not to date or aspire to having family for this reason and due to growing up with parents in a disfunctional marriage which scarred me. You managed to articulate how I feel way better than I could. I wish you all the best on your journey x

She was completely out of order, disgraceful comment from a GP, very out of touch. Yanbu.
I hope you feel better soon, take care of yourself,

YABU. You mentioned you've had therapy. If you have had any CBT, then you will understand that it is your belief system that has caused the reaction here, not the comment which was clumsy but hardly offensive.

I think it was an off remark but it wasn't meant as a sleight or a criticism of you or how you live your life. GP's are humans, some are great at face-to-face stuff and others just are not. I would try to brush it off, personally.

My mother used to get offended every time she went to the GP. Once she was told it might be an idea to get a blood test to check for type 2 diabetes and she roared out of there like a dragon. Blood test showed type 2 diabetes.

They do their best, sometimes it offends people, especially when they make social assumptions.

It makes absolutely no sense for the GP whom you have never met to have made this comment without it having been raised in the consultation. How would she even know you were single and childless?
You say you went to the GP as your anxiety levels were out of control. When people are in that high state of anxiety they often either misremember conversations or misinterpret things. Their behaviour and understanding at that moment is very erratic. It’s possible that this is what’s happened here and all you’re taking away from the appointment is that the GP said something that’s touched a nerve.
Focus on the positives that the appointment has for you.

Honestly, just give the GP a break. She made a comment that admittedly wasn’t well judged but it obviously wasn’t intended to trigger a bad response in you.
It’s all very well expecting everyone to make allowances for your “anxiety” but maybe spare a thought for other people as well. You have no idea what stress iand pressure the GP is living and working under. You are not the only one who needs consideration.

I think sometimes GPs don’t know what to say for some which isn’t a physical health issue. That’s on her, not you.

Years ago I saw my gp for a sick note for hyperemisis when pregnant and out the blue she told me that I ought to get married and if I did people would buy me presents and someone might buy me a washing machine. I was stunned but didn’t say anything. But was annoyed afterwards as I was perfectly capable of buying myself anything I needed including a washing machine.