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Should the person who earns more pay more for joint holiday friends not partners

482 replies

Libbykitty · 04/01/2026 17:36

Just that really.

2 friends going on holiday, should the person who earns more pay more say 75 ler cent of holiday cost, neither person wealthy, but one is part time and the other is full time so earns more.

Welcome thoughts as I am unsure.

OP posts:
Libbykitty · 04/01/2026 18:24

TwistedWonder · 04/01/2026 18:23

Disagree - part time is a CF if they expect their friend to subsidise them because they’re saving for something else.

If they can’t afford it, don’t go. It’s not on someone else to bankroll their holiday because they choose to work less hours.

Edited

Actually yes that is very true, I hadn't thought of that

OP posts:
Lou2026 · 04/01/2026 18:23

Absolutely not!!!! They're choosing to go on holiday together.

It's a whole different matter if they are a married/serious couple who share their life.

TwistedWonder · 04/01/2026 18:23

Libbykitty · 04/01/2026 18:14

Thanks everyone

Neither is a CF really in the friendship, part timer saving for something specific so little spare cash, full timer thinking like someone upthread said that the cost difference between 1 or 2 going on this package holiday not a huge amount but not wanting to ruin the friendship or set expectations for the future.

Disagree - part time is a CF if they expect their friend to subsidise them because they’re saving for something else.

If they can’t afford it, don’t go. It’s not on someone else to bankroll their holiday because they choose to work less hours.

SandyY2K · 04/01/2026 18:21

Libbykitty · 04/01/2026 18:14

Thanks everyone

Neither is a CF really in the friendship, part timer saving for something specific so little spare cash, full timer thinking like someone upthread said that the cost difference between 1 or 2 going on this package holiday not a huge amount but not wanting to ruin the friendship or set expectations for the future.

If the holiday is the idea of the richer friend and she wants the other friend as company.. then she may wish to pay more.

If the holiday was a mutual idea.. then it's 50/50.

Fundays12 · 04/01/2026 18:21

No they are friends not a couple.

cupfinalchaos · 04/01/2026 18:20

I can’t believe this post.. strange question

SandyY2K · 04/01/2026 18:19

Each person should pay their equal share. These aren't people in a relationship... just friends.

The richer friend shouldn't have to subsidise the other.

Binus · 04/01/2026 18:19

No.

That said, the better off party needs to be willing to go with what works for the lower budget. If they don't want that then they should be willing to subsidise, but not otherwise.

SmudgeButt · 04/01/2026 18:19

They should pay the same for the holiday. And it should be a holiday that the one with less money can actually afford.

Then if the one with more money decides they go someplace extra special to eat one night then they can pay for them both. But there should be no expectations.

FortnumsWeddingBreakfastTeaPlease · 04/01/2026 18:18

Libbykitty · 04/01/2026 18:14

Thanks everyone

Neither is a CF really in the friendship, part timer saving for something specific so little spare cash, full timer thinking like someone upthread said that the cost difference between 1 or 2 going on this package holiday not a huge amount but not wanting to ruin the friendship or set expectations for the future.

Lol, the low earner is a CF to have even put this option on the table.

How could the high earner ever have been a CF?

GreenPoms · 04/01/2026 18:18

Libbykitty · 04/01/2026 18:14

Thanks everyone

Neither is a CF really in the friendship, part timer saving for something specific so little spare cash, full timer thinking like someone upthread said that the cost difference between 1 or 2 going on this package holiday not a huge amount but not wanting to ruin the friendship or set expectations for the future.

But are you hoping that your friend stumps up more money towards the cost of the holiday?

Pickledpoppetpickle · 04/01/2026 18:17

The cost of flights, accommodation etc should be 50/50. The only caveat is the better off party understanding the worse off one might need 2 star rather than 5 star. I went away with a friend recently - she had been unwell and didn’t have as much cash as our previous getaways. She did some free stuff whilst I did some paid stuff because she didn’t want me to miss out and was happy to find a compromise. It worked for us - communication was key. But we have always gone our separate ways on holidays at least for the odd hour here and there because we are different people with different interests.

Bruisername · 04/01/2026 18:17

Libbykitty · 04/01/2026 18:14

Thanks everyone

Neither is a CF really in the friendship, part timer saving for something specific so little spare cash, full timer thinking like someone upthread said that the cost difference between 1 or 2 going on this package holiday not a huge amount but not wanting to ruin the friendship or set expectations for the future.

I guess it also depends why the part timer is part time

I wouldn’t want to subsidise a lifestyle choice

IsItTheWeekendYet25 · 04/01/2026 18:16

Just to add, I would never have asked or expected her to pay more and I only agreed because she offered and was very insistent it would be the best solution all round. I was perfectly happy to pay 50/50 in a more affordable hotel or step aside for her to go away with someone else.

soontobeamama · 04/01/2026 18:16

Not clear what the voting represents, but it would be completely unreasonable not to split the costs 50/50!

Sometimessmiling · 04/01/2026 18:16

I have never heard of anything more ridiculous. Of course not.

Bulbsbulbsbulbs · 04/01/2026 18:15

No, of course not!

Lmnop22 · 04/01/2026 18:14

If OP never came back does that make her the one looking to pay 25% 👀

Libbykitty · 04/01/2026 18:14

Thanks everyone

Neither is a CF really in the friendship, part timer saving for something specific so little spare cash, full timer thinking like someone upthread said that the cost difference between 1 or 2 going on this package holiday not a huge amount but not wanting to ruin the friendship or set expectations for the future.

OP posts:
Cardamomandlemons · 04/01/2026 18:14

I think the lower earner is allowed to say "my budget is X" (with a realistic budget) and if higher earner wants to go somewhere that costs x+? then they can choose to cover the difference or go with the cheaper option (in good spirits) or not go together at all.

thepariscrimefiles · 04/01/2026 18:14

No, of course not. If the person who earns less can't afford the holiday, they can't go. If they can afford the holiday, they should pay half.

usedtobeaylis · 04/01/2026 18:13

No, each pays for themselves and it should be affordable for both in the first place.

Gwenhwyfar · 04/01/2026 18:11

No. The only exception is if a rich person really wants a poorer person to accompany them on a holiday they know they couldn't afford on their own or if, for example, the richer person is insisting on a luxury holiday rather than one both people could afford.

Missj25 · 04/01/2026 18:11

Moonnstarz · 04/01/2026 17:37

Both person pays for them self, not sure why you would expect the higher earner to cover the other person

Exactly !

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 04/01/2026 18:10

tarheelbaby · 04/01/2026 18:07

As the higher earner on holiday with a cherished, long time, uni friend, I quietly subsidised. We sort of alternated but she'd buy tickets for a museum and I'd pay for dinner so I did the heavier lifting. Splitting 50/50 was not important to me aside from not trampling her pride.

Ultimately, the holiday cost her dearly: she tested positive for COVID so couldn't fly and had to stay in France until she achieved a negative test which meant extra accomodation and time off work even though she did a lot remotely. This irritated her DH b/c she was gone much longer and spent much more than they planned. Plus ... he had told her not to go and was annoyed that we had a jolly without him or my DH.

Edited

Her lower earnings were the least of her problems here.

For most people, 50/50 would be absolutely fair.

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