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Original poster

Should the person who earns more pay more for joint holiday friends not partners

482 replies

Libbykitty · 04/01/2026 17:36

Just that really.

2 friends going on holiday, should the person who earns more pay more say 75 ler cent of holiday cost, neither person wealthy, but one is part time and the other is full time so earns more.

Welcome thoughts as I am unsure.

OP posts:
Zanatdy · 04/01/2026 19:30

No, absolutely not.

MadamCholetsbonnet · 04/01/2026 19:29

Oh come on OP who are you in this situation?

I am going on holiday with a friend who is a millionaire and was able to retire in her fifties after being a Director of a household name company.

I earn £53k and live in a tiny cottage alone. It absolutely wouldn’t occur to me to expect her to pay more than half.

She has offered to pay for room upgrade in hotel because she needs a balcony so she can vape! Nothing to do with her superior financial situation though, and in any case I offered to still pay half because I will enjoy having the balcony.

Silverbirchleaf · 04/01/2026 19:28

No. Should be 50:50.

Also pt person can afford it. They just need to use some of their savings towards the holiday (it’s irrelevant if it’s earmarked for something else) and/or work more hours.

Alternatively, go on a cheaper holiday.

PhantomOfAllKnowledge · 04/01/2026 19:28

No, that's a bizarre suggestion. An arrangement like that would only be sensible if it was with someone with whom you had joint finances, i.e. spouse or long-term partner.

krustykittens · 04/01/2026 19:24

If someone can't afford something, they do without it. It's not on their friends to subsidise their lives. If you pay for this holiday, the chances are sooner or later, this gesture could sour your friendship. Don't do it.

TheLemonLemur · 04/01/2026 19:22

Nope I am pt and would never expect a friend to subsidise me! I also wouldn't like feeling indebted to the paying friend or that they felt they had more right to say what activities we did, places we eat, drink etc. You are setting the expectation of paying every time don't do it

Scohpahni · 04/01/2026 19:21

No you pay for yourself at what ever cost

FloofyKat · 04/01/2026 19:20

Nope.

Gremlins101 · 04/01/2026 19:19

No!

nomoremsniceperson · 04/01/2026 19:11

Nope, that would be nuts. We have friends who are about 5 times as wealthy as us. When we do stuff together everything is split 50/50.

In a romantic partnership that might be different, depending on seriousness of the relationship, kids, homeownership, household labour, sacrifices made for each other etc.
But friends? Always 50/50.

blizymitzy · 04/01/2026 19:07

Absolutely not

Astra53 · 04/01/2026 19:07

Nope.

DisforDarkChocolate · 04/01/2026 19:06

No.

For partners and people who are married, yes.

For family when the better of person wants to, possibly.

DoubtfulCat · 04/01/2026 19:04

Libbykitty · 04/01/2026 18:14

Thanks everyone

Neither is a CF really in the friendship, part timer saving for something specific so little spare cash, full timer thinking like someone upthread said that the cost difference between 1 or 2 going on this package holiday not a huge amount but not wanting to ruin the friendship or set expectations for the future.

If I wanted to go on holiday and could afford it, and I wanted this particular person to come with me, and the difference between 1 person going and 2 people going was very small… then I would happily sub my friend. But (and I’m a low earner) it would only be with all those conditions met. Like if I met a low-earning friend for coffee, I’d sub them the coffee and cake quite happily because I like their company.

After a few times I’d be expecting them to return the favour, or at least to offer; and if there was never any quid pro quo in the friendship generally I would stop. (It needn’t be the exact same- to each her own- but eg inviting me to lunch at her house where she’s made a really cheap but delicious soup, where on my turn I might invite her to lunch out. That sort of thing. Keeps it a bit more equitable.)

Wolfpa · 04/01/2026 19:03

No but the holiday should be planned on the lower budget, if the person who earns more wants additional luxuries they can pay extra

ScholesPanda · 04/01/2026 19:02

I would say no, each friend pays for themselves.

The only circumstances where that wouldn't apply would be if one friend wanted to do something or stay somewhere they knew the other couldn't afford. In those circumstances I have known people pay and ask for an amount they consider reasonable rather than the full amount from the friend. It is polite not to make them feel like a charity case.

ladyamy · 04/01/2026 19:01

Nope

whoopsnomore · 04/01/2026 19:00

No, however a budget should be discussed and agreed in advance

CalmTheFuckDownMargaret · 04/01/2026 18:58

Friends shouldn’t feel obliged to sub part-time workers’ holidays!

Strawberrydelight78 · 04/01/2026 18:54

No their not in a relationship so they both pay an equal amount.

Namerequired · 04/01/2026 18:54

Libbykitty · 04/01/2026 18:14

Thanks everyone

Neither is a CF really in the friendship, part timer saving for something specific so little spare cash, full timer thinking like someone upthread said that the cost difference between 1 or 2 going on this package holiday not a huge amount but not wanting to ruin the friendship or set expectations for the future.

If the full timer is offering to pay more as it doesn’t cost much difference to bring a second person, and it’s a close friendship, then that’s a different matter. However they should not be expected to pay more just because they earn more.

JHound · 04/01/2026 18:53

I will say I have experienced this when a friend invited a lower earning person and just announced that we would all be covering that person when the bill came. I had words with her afterwards.

BlackCat14 · 04/01/2026 18:52

What the actual fuck, of course not!

JHound · 04/01/2026 18:51

Doseofreality · 04/01/2026 17:38

No, and I would seriously reconsider a friendship if it was suggested to me.

This.

JHound · 04/01/2026 18:50

No.

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