Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should the person who earns more pay more for joint holiday friends not partners

482 replies

Libbykitty · 04/01/2026 17:36

Just that really.

2 friends going on holiday, should the person who earns more pay more say 75 ler cent of holiday cost, neither person wealthy, but one is part time and the other is full time so earns more.

Welcome thoughts as I am unsure.

OP posts:
Coconutter24 · 04/01/2026 22:04

Libbykitty · 04/01/2026 18:14

Thanks everyone

Neither is a CF really in the friendship, part timer saving for something specific so little spare cash, full timer thinking like someone upthread said that the cost difference between 1 or 2 going on this package holiday not a huge amount but not wanting to ruin the friendship or set expectations for the future.

If the part timer can’t afford it then they need to save harder. Why should the full time person pay more just because the part timer is also saving for something else? What about when you’re actually away? Part timer “oh I can’t afford to eat out every night cos I’m saving for (whatever they’re saving for)..” full timer “that’s ok I’ll pay” then before you know it you’ve paid almost all their holiday accommodation, travel and expenses. Anyone who would let a friend pay for all that when they could pay themselves but are choosing not to aren’t really a great friend

Motomum23 · 04/01/2026 22:03

God no! Absolute madness to expect that - and if you have a friend telling you then then you don't actually have a friend at all.

GeishaTrumpet · 04/01/2026 21:56

Libbykitty · 04/01/2026 17:36

Just that really.

2 friends going on holiday, should the person who earns more pay more say 75 ler cent of holiday cost, neither person wealthy, but one is part time and the other is full time so earns more.

Welcome thoughts as I am unsure.

The holiday should be split 50/50. Can’t believe this is a real question to be honest.

Kellph83 · 04/01/2026 21:56

I’m a vote for 50/50 each pay for yourselves. It’s weird that earnings would even come into it tbh

babyproblems · 04/01/2026 21:54

Oh sorry I didn’t understand the friends not partners but if you mean you’re not even a couple this is a wierd question!!

babyproblems · 04/01/2026 21:53

If married and there is an agreement that one person is earning more and the other has reduced hours because of family ‘work’ eg childcare, any care, DIY, running house etc- then all money earnt by both parties should be pooled each months; so all money in is considered joint income. Then all budgets can be spent on whatever like holidays and I think an equal split is fair.

selfcentred · 04/01/2026 21:51

100% no.
Different if you’re married.

TwistedWonder · 04/01/2026 21:49

PollyPlumPeach · 04/01/2026 21:19

What if it was a couple where the man works full time and has a higher income than the part-time woman. People would be screaming LTB if the man insisted on a 50-50 split

If they were a couple who cohabit and or have kids together then that’s a completely different scenario so not at all comparable

If they’re just dating then I’d say it’s the same as two friends so they split unless the higher earner says it’s their treat

PurpleThistle7 · 04/01/2026 21:46

I can’t see why. If someone doesn’t work enough to afford their holiday then they can’t go? The first friend doesn’t owe them a free holiday.

only caveat is if maybe you’re renting a flat and the high earner takes the en-suite master

beAsensible1 · 04/01/2026 21:44

Not unless they want to, are offering it, it’s their idea for the trip or they want a nicer place.

Alwayswonderedwhy · 04/01/2026 21:42

No. I wouldn't expect a more wealthy friend to sub my holiday.

Dissappearedupmyownarse · 04/01/2026 21:35

Libbykitty · 04/01/2026 17:36

Just that really.

2 friends going on holiday, should the person who earns more pay more say 75 ler cent of holiday cost, neither person wealthy, but one is part time and the other is full time so earns more.

Welcome thoughts as I am unsure.

Nope!

LBFseBrom · 04/01/2026 21:26

No. Where did you get that idea?

kombuchabucha · 04/01/2026 21:21

Only scenario I can think of in which the higher earner should pay more is if there are, for example, two accommodation options which vary substantially in price and the lower earner wants to go for the cheaper one as it's in their budget, but the higher earner wants to pay more so they can have the nicer/better located accommodation.

I paid for a friend's portion of a hen do as they were broke at the time following a divorce, and I didn't want then to miss out because of the timing of the event.

PollyPlumPeach · 04/01/2026 21:19

What if it was a couple where the man works full time and has a higher income than the part-time woman. People would be screaming LTB if the man insisted on a 50-50 split

OneFootAfterTheOther · 04/01/2026 21:18

No- unless they have suggested something more expensive

TappyGilmore · 04/01/2026 21:17

No. Should pay equal shares.

tinytemper66 · 04/01/2026 21:16

So OP are you the poor relation in this friendship? Couldn’t see update regarding this.

PrincessFairyWren · 04/01/2026 21:06

ItsOnlyHobnobs · 04/01/2026 17:39

Nope.

Exception if one person wants to stay somewhere more luxurious and voluntarily makes upgrades and treats their friend.

This

Snaletrale · 04/01/2026 21:05

No, you look for something at the budget of the lower earning friend. If the richer one, then wants to pay to upgrade, that’s fine, but there should be no expectation.

SpringIsComingSoonFolks · 04/01/2026 21:03

Don’t be ridiculous

toomuchcrapeverywhere · 04/01/2026 21:01

No

BernardButlersBra · 04/01/2026 20:59

PT person should up their hours if they want more money. Why should someone else have to subsidise their choices

Evaka · 04/01/2026 20:57

Hell no!

AgreeToDisagreeSometimes · 04/01/2026 20:57

I’m in two minds!

my first instinct is a hell no, friends should pay 50:50

however I heard recently there was a situation where the person who earns more wanted to cover the cost of the accommodation (the other person paid flights only) as they wanted to stay somewhere nicer. They were happy to pay as they earned a lot more than the other person and the cost was “pocket change” . they really wanted to go away together and had the best time so had no regrets

so it all depends on whether the person who’s paying more is comfortable with it.