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AIBU?

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9yo and social media

87 replies

iloveyourhair · 04/01/2026 16:39

DS has a huge interest in Lego, Lego coding, and robotics.

A few months ago, he asked if he could share his builds on social media. I told him no because I believe he is far too young and I explained the dangers of social media. He mentioned that his best friend uses it, and that mum allows him to. Since we are pretty close, I called her to verify this for safety reasons. She confirmed it was true and that she monitors her son's account. She also suggested that my son could add his content to her son's account, essentially proposing they have a joint account.

I thought it was a lovely suggestion, and shortly after our call, she sent me her son’s profile. He has managed to earn over 10K followers.

However, I wouldn't feel comfortable with my son's face being on social media, especially knowing that predators lurk online.

Yesterday, I found out that my son went ahead and created his own profile. Thankfully, he hasn’t posted any videos with his face in them, but he has gained over 1,300 followers in a short time.

I told him that I was very upset with him for creating the account without my permission. I don’t appreciate that he did this. I’m unsure how I missed it, as I check his iPad frequently, I am currently deciding whether to let him keep the account.

On the positive side, he hasn’t engaged with any profiles that comment on his posts, and he is a very sensible boy for his age.

Do you think I should let him keep the account and help him expand it, or should I delete it?

OP posts:
Snorlaxo · 04/01/2026 17:05

Yanbu to say no. Many of those 1400 follows will be pedophiles who have heard about your son’s account elsewhere on the internet imo.

I would allow something where you can’t tell how old the account holder is (no hands, no voice etc) and only you can have the password so he doesn’t upload or reply to comments but it’s not going to get thousands of follows and likes which I assume is his motivation. I wouldn’t be against my child learning video editing either but it has to be content where it’s not obvious how old he is eg a stop go animation with say AI voices.

iloveyourhair · 04/01/2026 17:02

scorpiogirly · 04/01/2026 16:55

The large majority of people who follow children's accounts are adult men. My dd 7 wants to do a youtube video. Not a chance.

Yes, and that’s a major reason I’d rather him not use social media for now, I’ll reconsider once he turns 16.

I understand he simply wants others to see his builds, but it’s not safe.

OP posts:
Rainallnight · 04/01/2026 16:59

Absolutely delete it.

First, he broke a very clear and sensible rule. It sends a terrible precedent for his tech use in adolescence if he knows he can get away with this sort of thing.

Two, and I don’t mean this as a criticism, but your monitoring is clearly inadequate if he was able to do this under your nose, so to speak. So you can’t count on being able to monitor his useage if he continued with social media.

Three, have a look at the thread on here just now about a 16 year old boy who fell victim to sextortion on SM. Almost twice your son’s age.

Just no.

iloveyourhair · 04/01/2026 16:58

He's using his iPad, and I’m still quite irritated with him. I know some mothers are comfortable with their children sharing their hobbies on social media, but that isn’t the case for me. I use social media as well, but I don’t post pictures of the children because my husband strongly against it.

DS didn’t even apologise, I think he assumes it’s acceptable since he didn’t post himself, and his followers can tell he’s a child from his hands.

OP posts:
scorpiogirly · 04/01/2026 16:55

The large majority of people who follow children's accounts are adult men. My dd 7 wants to do a youtube video. Not a chance.

Dinosweetpea · 04/01/2026 16:52

You should delete it.

FunnyOrca · 04/01/2026 16:45

Why would you let him keep it? You either don’t want him on social media or you do. 9 is below the legal age on most social media anyway. His account is illegal without parental consent.

FuzzyWolf · 04/01/2026 16:43

I think he is too young to have unsupervised access to an iPad and this outcome is exactly why.

Crunchymum · 04/01/2026 16:42

How is he accessing social media? Phone? Tablet? Take that away from him.

333FionaG · 04/01/2026 16:42

What social media? TikTok? Instagram? He's 9 and I wouldn't want my own son to be posting on social media. Did he input a fake date of birth?

2026budgetmum · 04/01/2026 16:41

There could be paedophiles following him you should not reward him by letting him keep the account after he’s disobeyed your rules. The Internet is a harmful place and there’s no need for it. He doesn’t need to be earning his own money through it. Don’t let him have a smart phone without parental controls.

TrixieFatell · 04/01/2026 16:40

I wouldn't let my 9 year old have access to social media, no matter how much it was as monitored. The fact they went and made one up knowing you didn't want them to do it is another issue and shows they can't be trusted.

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