9yo and social media

He is behaving like a child because he is a child. This proves social media is not the place for him to be sharing anything on. I don't understand why you'd agree to him using his friends account either. Why any child needs to be posting on any social media is beyond me.

The alcohol post was a good point too.

But the internet and social media is just as damaging and important to withold as alcohol.

How can you be so sheltered to not know what damage social media and the internet cause to children’s and teenagers brains, self esteem and self image.

There is a reason Australia is banning all social media for under 16s and it’s such an amazing start to a worldwide problem.

There is no need for your son to show strangers on the internet things he’s building with LEGO. This is just instilling in him that likes and what strangers think matters. What happened to kids building their LEGO at home, showing mum and dad and getting on with it.

My 8 year old asks to try a glass of fizz at Xmas, I told her no, I didn’t suggest she drink it at a friends house!

I wouldn't allow a 9yo social media of any kind under any circumstances, and I wouldn't let your son keep his account since 1) it would be rewarding him for lying to you, 2) the fact that he lied shows he doesn't have sufficient maturity or understanding of the dangers to be trusted with it, 3) instagram itself says it's not suitable for under 13s and 4) all it will do is turn a rewarding and enjoyable hobby into something he pursues for the validation of other people.

I’d delete it

So what? He can’t sulk forever and he isn’t going to starve himself to death.

Dealing with kids being sulky, melodramatic and bratty is something parents have to endure sometimes.

At 9 absolutely no way

my (asd) daughter got hers at 15 , gave her an inch and she took a mile. Some of the videos she started to post just weren’t comfortable at all young age

The trouble is, it's encouraging the child to respond to 'likes' and the dopamine hit that external approval from strangers gives.

It's not a healthy thing to encourage in young children.

Share with family and friends, that really should be enough.

The OP’s child doesn’t want to look at SM, he wants to share his LEGO builds.

If the OP manages the account, it will be fine.

No, if you are going to let him continue at least turn the comments off.

You appear to putting a great deal of sway towards how your child will react. From what you have said, it sounds like your child knows if they behave in a certain way they can get what they want from you. Being a parent isn't about being liked by your child. You need to make tough decisions for them. But, TBH, it's concerning that you don't seem to see this as an obvious decision.

Delete it. He doesn’t have the capacity to make fully informed decisions about social media at his age. There is a good reason that social media accounts have a minimum age of 13 (many 16).

If it’s an iPad and you have an iPhone you can re-set up the iPad and control it through the Apple family settings. You have him as a child and then you can do things such as restrict screen time, restrict apps and block websites. My dd has YouTube, TikTok etc blocked and she can’t download apps without my approval. The settings are password protected too. You can control it through your phone even if you’re not in the same place. It’s fairly simple to do.

Manipulate what to make ai images? Her hands? Or the hairdressers doll had she used to do hairstyles on?

I'm surprised hands bother you but not children on tv where their full face and bodies are shown. So unless you boycott adverts, programmes and films that have children in them then I'm not sure why you're getting so riled up about hands.

There are parental controls which should be in place so they can't do this, he shouldn't be able to download any apps without your account being asked for permission, it's quite easy to set up if done properly.

No need to feel guilty. You’re setting boundaries and keeping him safe. He’s shown you he can’t be trusted and he’ll break the rules to get some kind of gratification. That is not ok. Not at 9.

DD did something similar when she was a bit older with the help of a friend, after I had said no. The account was deleted and I told her if anything like that happened again she’d permanently lose her devices as well. The irony is I was thinking about it and would’ve probably said yes with certain limits.

I probably would’ve let him make an account that was private , for the uploading part /memories rather than views /building a fan base, but obviously too late now.

Why teach him that sharing his hobby needs to be shared with hundreds of random unknown people. Why does he need gratification of followers. It’s a very very unhealthy need

What do you mean, what he has earned?

Is there not some other way he could share his Lego hobby with other children, clubs etc with real life people?
I personally would not allow a 9year old to be posting anything online. He has already demonstrated to you he doesn't understand any risks or respect your boundaries. If you are pressured now by 'my friend is allowed ' surely it is going to get worse and worse as he gets older, you will have to resist peer pressure at some point or just let yourself be ruled by the lowest standards of his friends parents

Well that’s parenting for you, it’s about time really. You aren’t his friend, it is your responsibility to parent him and keep him safe, even when it doesn’t feel nice.

You keep justifying yourself by saying that she doesn’t have access to it but what you should really be disgusted and worried about is who else is accessing it.

You’ve already said grown men have contacted her through her content yet you keep uploading it.

Just because her face isn’t in it means nothing. There are sick people out there who will get off on any footage of children doing the most innocent things. Are you really ok knowing there are potentially men out there pleasuring themselves to your child? Are you really ok knowing footage of your child could have been reshared anywhere on the web (or even worse the dark web) with these same men talking disgustingly about your child. Are you really ok knowing that with today’s technology and AI these same sick men can manipulate seemingly innocent footage of your child and change it into absolutely unspeakable stuff?

Do better by your child.

You parent well you feel guilty,

You parent poorly you are saving all the guilt for the future.

Either way as a parent you will feel guilty. Rule no 1!

I thought you had to be 13 to use social media anyway?

You need to change this attitude and quickly before you raise an entitled spoilt not very nice person.

You are his parent. You are meant to teach him right from wrong and discipline him when needed. Even when he doesn’t realise at the time that you’re doing something for his own good he will one day look back and realise you did right by him.

He’s your child, protect him and lead him proper in life. Don’t just let him walk all over you and do what he wants. He’s a child, he has no idea what is best for himself

My 8 & 10 year olds don’t consume social media let alone post on it. How did he open an account if you’re meant to be 13 these days? Is it just a tick box like when you go on iPlayer and tick that you have a tv license with no verification 😅