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Original poster

To think husband needs to adjust hit attitude to his parents

84 replies

Isit2026yet · 04/01/2026 16:28

My DH is an only child. He’s quite highly strung. And in many ways the stereotypical example of an only child. When we got together he wasn't close to his parents, I'm not close to many, but I remember saying to him the way he spoke to his parents was horrific when they were trying to be helpful. A year ago they moved from
2 hours away from us to 5 mins away on foot so we’re a lot closer to them. Every time we see them or go over to theirs DH gets frustrated by something usually he disagrees with how they've done something (they have a habit of doing things randomly, or in a strange order of events) ultimately causing more friction for us. Inlaws are 80s and slowing down so a lot is falling to us currently. But he can’t voice irritations rationally, he just f’s and blinds and walks off.

OP posts:
BellissimoGecko · 04/01/2026 16:35

SpaceRaccoon · 04/01/2026 16:30

That's horrible. I'd lose all respect for a man who wasn't kind and courteous to his parents (and mine).

This.

Original poster
Isit2026yet · 04/01/2026 16:34

@glendabrownlow i have at length, mainly the fact he went to boarding school at 6 so never had a close relationship since then. He's now 48 though. And I've said he needs to better/learn to bite his tongue.

OP posts:
TomatoSandwiches · 04/01/2026 16:34

If I heard my husband swear at his mum I'd box his ears in! This is just not acceptable, not at all.

JLou08 · 04/01/2026 16:33

If he treats you well and is respectful of others, I'd be wondering about what he experienced as a child that has led to this. I'm not sure you should be pushing it, there could be some significant trauma that has left him feeling angry with his parents.

Duckiewasthefirstniceguy · 04/01/2026 16:33

What’s his justification for his behaviour?

DH gets frustrated by something usually he disagrees with how they've done something (they have a habit of doing things randomly, or in a strange order of events)

And why is this his business?

Original poster
Isit2026yet · 04/01/2026 16:32

@SpaceRaccoon he’s helpful and caring but lacks politeness or ability to bite his tongue which he does get from MIL.

OP posts:
Hatty65 · 04/01/2026 16:31

I don't think he should be swearing at his parents, but I also think you need to mind your business about his relationship with them. You have no real idea of what his childhood was like, or why he finds them hard work.

I loathe going to see my parents, but go out of duty and remain as neutral as possible with them. I'd be very cross if my DH suggested I needed to be 'closer' to them, simply because they are my parents.

glendabrownlow · 04/01/2026 16:31

Have you discussed with your DH why he has this attitude towards his parents?

SpaceRaccoon · 04/01/2026 16:30

That's horrible. I'd lose all respect for a man who wasn't kind and courteous to his parents (and mine).