To help ds get himself a life

Does he have online friends?

Not academically, she’s always been fine academically (other than the 2 years of EBSA we had) .. she started to struggle with friendships at primary school though, it was really obvious from about 7 or 8 that there was something a bit different.

I would encourage him to go to university more for the social aspect of it than anything else- if he sits there for years it will decrease his confidence, whereas if he goes to uni, and picks an interesting course, he has a chance to meet similar people, or join up with those with similar hobbies, or just to practice meeting people. Of course his new job might provide that, and windows of social opportunity do open up all the time- he might start the job and meet a new friend or even a partner, you never know.

I don't think that school is the best predictor of whether someone will succeed socially, it's a very odd environment, and a year of college perhaps on a lower level course may also not provide that many like-minded people. I would encourage university myself not least because it will give him experience of living independently.

I worry so many young adults get stuck these days, yes, it's expensive to move out or do a degree but if you don't want to have them sitting on your couch in a decade's time, they need the time, skills, motivation and practice to live a different life and I think uni provides a structured way of doing that leaving home thing, also when they come back from uni is a critical time to encourage the 'what's next' stage rather than to let them sink into doing very little.

You are looking at this through your lens, and not his. They are real friends, it doesn’t matter that they haven’t met IRL.

I chat with her about her friends, and what they are up to, and how D&D is going. They are a lovely group of young people

All we do is try to keep moving forward, at whatever speed. She has a PT job at the local stadium during events, she’s started at college (again 😊), and seems to be enjoying it, she’s been learning to drive for the last 18 months. Always moving forward.

we’ve noticed a real change over the last few months, definitely a bit more mature, but nowhere near other 19 year olds.

Do you mind me asking if your daughter appeared ‘behind’ her peers academically in primary school? (Currently in this situation)

Does he have Gaming friends ?? ASD DD is 19, and sounds familiar … she has some great online friends, she’s known them for 4 or 5 years. She finds RL friendships difficult, but is getting better as are she gets older - I think you have to leave then to work things out. Her online friendships are great, supportive, fun, and interesting.

I always look at it that DD is about 3 years “behind” emotionally and socially.. so she’s 19, but more like 16.

Are there any local support groups or social groups for young people with ASD as they could be more inclusive and less intimidating socially?

I could have written this, except he has a job in a fast food place and did a degree. I just don’t know what to do