Baby can’t nap while siblings are home

I’d just start being firm with the rules and stick with them. Baby is going up to bed now, ask if anybody needs the toilet as for the next hour it will be out of use- 8 & 10 is old enough to understand that, and then stick to it. Same for toys etc- ask if anybody needs anything from upstairs because baby is going for nap so for the next hour it's downstairs only, and again, stick to it.

Do you think the younger one is a mite jealous maybe The smirking if Babe is woken .Is she a bit put out at not being the baby any more.I would say that you cant go upstairs right now .Babes asleep like you used to be when you were small.Try and involve her in baby care see if that may work

At 8 and 10 they are old enough not to be shouting and screeching when they know the baby is sleeping. Yes babies should be able to sleep through some noise but this doesn’t sound like a normal level of noise!
Going to the toilet fair enough if they really need to- but this can be done quietly! Shouting for you, no that’s not acceptable and needs consequences.

It always surprises me when DC have sleepovers how many of their friends charge up and down the stairs and slam the bathroom door in the middle of the night when they know people are sleeping- parents should be teaching kids to be considerate to others.

I’d warn them baby is going for a nap now, it’s quiet time, have a wee, get whatever you need from upstairs. No shouting, and be quiet if you absolutely must go upstairs.

Also does the baby need to drop to one long nap now? 14 months is quite old for two naps I think.

And also do you put white noise or music on? I used to put on music for my youngest which drowned out most of the household noises.

i use a white noise machine and ban DS from going upstairs whilst she's napping.
if he desperately needs something I'll go get it as I don't sound like an elephant going up the stairs.
but he is generally good in knowing once she's down noise is kept to a minimum

Consequences. Immediate and harsh ones. She's doing it deliberately. I would wipe that smirk off her face then and there. Whatever toy she went up to get, bin it. Do not replace it. If she can't go to the toilet quietly, you take her to the toilet like a little toddler.

Make them go before nap time and absolutely you can stop them going upstairs. I'd sit on the stairs and physically stop them.

You need to parent these children. How will they ever learn any consideration for others if you can't even get them to respect a babies need to sleep? Do they run circles around you in other areas of your parenting?

Probably a little late to start but I made sure the younger children got used to sleeping through noise so if the house was quiet I had the radio on near the sleeping baby (speech radio not music) so they were not disturbed by the older children

We had a similar problem here, we started putting the Alexa on (‘meditation station’ is pretty good!) during nap times to try and diffuse any noise from my older 2!

Sorry an 8 and 10 year old can't be quiet then that's your problem for not putting your foot down, even our 4 yr old twins keep noise down when they know baby is napping as do older ones same as if an older is ill and has to lie down everyone respects that and becomes a little quieter

Are they step children by any chance?

Sorry, but you’re not being strict enough. You say it’s not their problem but it is a family problem and you need to tackle it together. Your DD may have wanted the toy and her slippers but she didn't need them. You shouldn’t need to bribe them - just agree with them what they’re going to do for an hour, check they’ve got what they need, and make it clear they are simply not allowed upstairs. If they go anyway, there should be consequences they don’t like, as for any other deliberate defiance.

Don’t ask if they need the toilet first - just tell them to go, the same as you would (I hope) before going out.

It shouldn’t really be needed, but I suppose you could promise a reward (eg a little extra tv time) if they don’t disturb the baby's nap.

Yes, this. A lot of things in life aren't going to be "their problem", but good parenting is teaching them to be considerate of others.

Stop bribing your children and start parenting them.

So the problem is very much that you've been afraid/reluctant to enforce any rules or boundaries around this issue.

Step up. Let the baby nap. Teach your older children to be considerate.

Of course they need consequences! Just tell them they're not to go upstairs when the baby is napping.

And they won’t be going to the toilet every five minutes at school.

Or send the older ones to sit in the car and watch ipads for an hour at nap time 😂

I'd cut down to one nap and go for a walk in the buggy after lunch.

White noise machine and upstairs ban!

8& 10 are definitely old enough to know not to wake the baby.
Consequences of doing so mean they can't go upstairs during nap time, early bedtime, removal of screen time etc.
Warn them when you are going to put baby down that they need to collect things from upstairs then.
Even my 3yo knew not to wake the baby!!