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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have 0 social battery after having my parents to stay for 8 weeks over the festive period.

56 replies

heavenknow · 04/01/2026 08:44

I’m due back to work tomorrow after a good period of work and I should be rested but I’m absolutely broken. We live in Australia, my mum and dad have come out for Christmas but it’s just been too much. Every single day, the pressure has been on me to arrange and communicate the ‘plan for the day’ - down to making dinner/lunch/snacks. Deal with the multiple complaints about the heat (when sitting outside, not in the fully airconed house) and buy everyone else’s Christmas gifts - including everyone here and at home (as I’m good at gift buying, apparently) mum has early on set dementia, so my dad (understandably) has taken it as an opportunity to rest, so has pushed loads onto me - your mum is hungry, can you make her lunch, mum can’t wait that long for dinner, don’t give her and more wine, have you ordered mum’s gifts from me yet, what have you bought your sisters kids from us to take back etc etc…… But I’m absolutely f**ked. I want a bottle of wine, a documentary and not a single person to need my assistance for 24-48 hours!!!!
Is this the reality of this stage of life?

OP posts:
Disturbia81 · 04/01/2026 08:51

I wouldn’t last 3 days.

Hollyleaves · 04/01/2026 08:50

heavenknow · 04/01/2026 08:44

I’m due back to work tomorrow after a good period of work and I should be rested but I’m absolutely broken. We live in Australia, my mum and dad have come out for Christmas but it’s just been too much. Every single day, the pressure has been on me to arrange and communicate the ‘plan for the day’ - down to making dinner/lunch/snacks. Deal with the multiple complaints about the heat (when sitting outside, not in the fully airconed house) and buy everyone else’s Christmas gifts - including everyone here and at home (as I’m good at gift buying, apparently) mum has early on set dementia, so my dad (understandably) has taken it as an opportunity to rest, so has pushed loads onto me - your mum is hungry, can you make her lunch, mum can’t wait that long for dinner, don’t give her and more wine, have you ordered mum’s gifts from me yet, what have you bought your sisters kids from us to take back etc etc…… But I’m absolutely f**ked. I want a bottle of wine, a documentary and not a single person to need my assistance for 24-48 hours!!!!
Is this the reality of this stage of life?

8 weeks is 15% of the year. That’s exhausting. It sounds like your Dad really put it all on you and that’s not fair. Having visitors is one thing, caring and managing for them and two of them of that must be difficult.

Rest up and decompress for as long as you need.

twilightcafe · 04/01/2026 08:50

Book some more annual leave and make it just for you to recuperate.

You can't pour from an empty cup.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 04/01/2026 08:49

8 weeks is stretching “the festive period” to its absolute limit. For that length of stay, people need to muck in, they can’t be guests. YANBU.

GoldMerchant · 04/01/2026 08:47

I think 8 weeks of parents staying would drain a lot of people. Especially a parent with dementia (I'm sorry about your mum). Can the visit be shorter next time?

Take your day with some wine!

mirsd · 04/01/2026 08:46

YANBU. I’ve got a relative arriving today for a week and I’m totally dreading it already.

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