To think we can’t take the children out of school just to spend Christmas with DHs family

You need to request holiday from a private school too. They started to report lateness and absences to councils (I heard it was due to a stricter position of the Department of Education). But it shouldn’t be a big issue, even if they mark it with a scary word “unauthorised absence”. I had unauthorised absences here and there last year as we were looking to change schools, no fines. So if you are back on 9 or 10 Jan, it will just be 2-3-4 days missed.

I would for the first few years, if you are going private for secondary as well and want to apply for competitive schools, you might want to rethink missing any time in year 5, but by year 6 exams will be done. Secondary school would be difficult and probably not be a good idea for a full week - could you host some years or if you are lucky with when the 7th falls re the weekend, just take a long weekend.

Obviously year 11 and 13 your child will most likely have mocks first week back in January.

The thing is, she’s massively overthinking it. The term doesn’t always start on a Monday. There’s no recapping of previous learning at least until Ks2 in primary, if at all. There isn’t always new learning being started either. I see it more as a fluid situation, rather than a blanket no more Orthodox Christmas.

I wouldn’t assume private school will absolve you of fines- they still have to report attendance to the council and I think this has changed to be stricter relatively recently. I have one in a state primary and one in a private school and the private is much stricter about authorising absence. Their position is the the holidays are longer than state so they really don’t like holidays in term time. Our state has never authorised but always wishes us a good time. I haven’t ever pushed it though to a full week off as I think their hands are a bit tied now re fines.

I’d still want to do it though- it feels important to experience if even if you have to do it every other year or limit it to a few days. Mine are back on the 6th and 7th this year.

Oh dear.

I’d do it, it’s a lovely time for everyone to spend time together.

Which is also a reasonable approach. But assuming a parent has at least thought about the impact of starting school for their child and how if they want to request absence then that's not completely straightforward is also reasonable.

Looks like the mother is the only one who has thought ahead and actually considered what starting school means. No surprises there.

I would definitely go. I wouldn’t even think of it. Ignore posters who say you might end up in prison.

Would you be happy to miss your Xmas every year?

of course you should take them
out.

It isn’t just fines anymore. If you go over a certain number of unauthorised absences in a 3 year period there is also a criminal conviction, which will show up on dbs etc.

Time off for religious observation would be the actual day, which wouldn’t take into account travel time etc. So the 7th would be marked authorised.

Take next year, term starts on the 4th. So you would have 8 sessions of unauthorised and 2 authorised. You would need to track them very carefully to not to over into the prosecution range.

At that age I definitely would just take them out of school.

Sorry I've not read the whole thread but in case anyone hasn't said it remind him that it's a criminal offence, not just a fine, and that parents have served time in prison.

And it's a criminal offence for good reason YANBU.

It’s not as big of an issue as you seem to think. Children tend to go back on the 5th/6th. Generally 6th, as the 5th is an inset day. Considering the start day differs every year, it could mean missing the whole 5 days or just 1 or 2. A day or two are also lost with resettling, soft start, reminder of behaviour and rules , rather than active learning. There should also be some leeway from the school, since it’s a religious observance. Rather than a blank no, consider going every other year , or deciding depending on the dates. It really won’t be a big deal in EYFS , or frankly , most of primary. You can reassess once they’re in secondary, but it’s a tad daft to state such absolutes before your child has even started school.

I would take them out. Especially in early years, they are not going to be sitting down recapping and revising topics. Maybe it will be different when they're sitting GCSE, but a lot can happen between then and now.

Is it more that you dont want to go??

It would be an approved absence because it’s a religious festival. Even at a private school other parents will take the odd day here and there because they want to go somewhere for a long weekend and need to travel on the Friday (we do this 2-3 times a year). Really, it’s fine. Maybe not in exam years but that’s years off so no point worrying about that yet.

I wouldnt.
I would have a conversation about how we would manage holidays and term time with a man i knew had a different culture to mine.
Not casually mention it after the fact.

Schools I have worked have always been flexible for orthodox students, the same as people having time off for Hanukkah or Eid.

Christmas with family is extremely important. I think it's fine to miss a few days for a religious/family occasion, at least when they're younger.

Admittedly my view is coloured by being from a country that doesn't fine you for missing school unless it's too many days.

I think every second year would be a good compromise until they're older.

Why wouldn't you assume that you and your spouse will be obeying the law?

Can you aim to be back by, say, 9th January? Private schools tend to go back a bit later than state schools - e.g. this year it tends to be around 7th January - so at least this would minimise the time they lose.

Just do it, a week of school will not be missed.

You mean calling out bad behaviour?
How strange that baffles you.
Ah well. You'll get over it.

During the primary years I’d say it’s fine. It’s clearly very important to your DH and education doesn’t begin and end in the classroom. Re-evaluate when they get older.

How do people who talk to others on the internet in this way get by in real life? Do they talk like this to others? Baffles me.