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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think infant circumcision is wrong but also that a total ban on it will not work and is not the most effective way to tackle it?

732 replies

Carla786 · 04/01/2026 00:49

On the recent threads after the tragic death of the baby boy who died from circumcision performed by a non medical professional, there have been a lot of calls for a total ban on here.
Now, I think infant circumcision is very wrong. But in practice I do not think a ban will work.
Most cultural circumcisions are performed by medically trained people. Backstreet ones need to be cracked down on with the full force of the law, but they are not typical.
Second, circumcision is key in Islam. However, while most agree it’s either compulsory or strongly recommended, age requirements are not as stringent in mandating someone has to be a minor. I think there is some hope sensitive campaigning within the community could maybe make more families consider leaving it until their son is at least maybe an older adolescent with more ability to choose.
Judaism – circumcision is central to Orthodox, Ultra Orthodox Haredi ofc, and more liberal Masorti and Reform. It is extremely unlikely that any law or external pressure would stop these practices, because brit milah is a covenantal obligation tied to Jewish identity. Attempting a blanket ban would likely trigger defensiveness, fear, maybe underground circumcisions and probably emigration of at least some to Israel or elsewhere, rather than protect children.
Focusing on sterile procedures, trained practitioners, and medical supervision would be more likely to significantly reduce risk. Jews have experienced persecution for circumcision in the past (e.g., Hellenistic bans and European restrictions), so any attempt to criminalise it today can feel existential. This is only heightened by the terrible upsurge in anti Semitism recently.

I agree with sentiments behind calling for a ban - I just thing measures short of a ban are more likely to work.

OP posts:
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Itsmetheflamingo · 04/01/2026 12:31

chocciechocface · 04/01/2026 12:30

Did he tell you that just before he handed you a big bill for the procedure? Your baby boy’s surgeries probably bought him a new car.

I mean, I think it costs a few hundred quid 🤣

Itsmetheflamingo · 04/01/2026 12:30

AmpleMintBalonz · 04/01/2026 12:26

Do you think so?

I think maybe people ask women their plans for their children from a young age, because they assume they will be mothers and handle such matters. Men dont deal with those particular societal assumptions so are less likely to have the topic thrust upon them in the same way.

Men are the ones it’s being done to, so why would women have a Greater role in discussing and worrying about it?

chocciechocface · 04/01/2026 12:30

AddSomeKindness · 04/01/2026 08:04

I apologise if there was any confusion. Did you not see where I mentioned that a boy's foreskin typically doesn’t retract until around the age of 8? This can lead to a buildup of dirt and potentially result in infections. This information was shared with me by the surgeon who performed the minor procedure on our sons.

Did he tell you that just before he handed you a big bill for the procedure? Your baby boy’s surgeries probably bought him a new car.

Mischance · 04/01/2026 12:30

AmpleMintBalonz · 04/01/2026 12:22

Maybe because they feel they cant be connected to their God without it and fear what will happen if they are not.

For goodness sake! How can intelligent civilised people give any credence to this nonsense? How many millenia will it take before reason takes over?

As to the argument that circumcised men do not generally complain about this..... it is because they have no experience of having a normal penis so have nothing to compare it with.

If an adult man wishes to have this done for whatever reason he can make that choice.

But mutilation of babies is fundamentally wrong and should not be cordoned under any circumstances whatever.

Blushingm · 04/01/2026 12:29

sabababa · 04/01/2026 12:26

Nope. FGM is totally different in purpose and impact.
I can promise you males are not marginalised in Islam and judaism

Again - what is the purpose of circumcision - you will not answer this will you?

Blushingm · 04/01/2026 12:28

sabababa · 04/01/2026 12:27

Duh. And you know what, he doesnt need mumsnet telling him what he should be feeling about his circumcision 😂
You dont know better!!

You seem to think you do!

Mumnet isn’t telling him anything

Bestchocolate · 04/01/2026 12:27

There are definatly groups out there trying to turn the tide on it.

sabababa · 04/01/2026 12:27

Blushingm · 04/01/2026 12:25

Because he has never had a life not being circumcised!

Duh. And you know what, he doesnt need mumsnet telling him what he should be feeling about his circumcision 😂
You dont know better!!

AmpleMintBalonz · 04/01/2026 12:26

Itsmetheflamingo · 04/01/2026 12:18

It’s an interesting point that men who are against circumcision aren't visible.

I have been reading the circumcision argument from predominantly women on various internet forums for 20 years. Where are the men having these informal discussions? If I asked my male friends they would be likely be against it but that would also likely be the first conversation they’d ever had about it.

Do you think so?

I think maybe people ask women their plans for their children from a young age, because they assume they will be mothers and handle such matters. Men dont deal with those particular societal assumptions so are less likely to have the topic thrust upon them in the same way.

Itsmetheflamingo · 04/01/2026 12:26

AmpleMintBalonz · 04/01/2026 12:23

Probably exist on the internet in spaces we do not frequent. As well as across pub tables and work lunch times. All the men I know LOVE debating topics, regardless of how informed they are about it.

But they don’t. I have participated and witnessed hundreds of threads in women’s forums arguing about circumcision.

I have not once been in the pub with a group of people doing so (or witnessed it during the time I worked in pubs) my husband says he’s never had a conversation about it.

to some extent, internet forums force you to have opinions on things you don’t really care about that much in reality, just so you can participate. I’m convinced this topic is one.

sabababa · 04/01/2026 12:26

AmpleMintBalonz · 04/01/2026 12:21

It is probably another reason why wider society normalises the practice when it comes to males but would not condone a similarly invasive and permanent procedure on girls for any reason.

Nope. FGM is totally different in purpose and impact.
I can promise you males are not marginalised in Islam and judaism

Blushingm · 04/01/2026 12:25

sabababa · 04/01/2026 12:24

Nope. My husband is an atheist and he was circumcised as a baby and totally happy with it

Because he has never had a life not being circumcised!

Blushingm · 04/01/2026 12:25

sabababa · 04/01/2026 12:23

https://www.webmd.com/sexual-conditions/circumcision
You can educate yourself here.
You're welcome.

Webmd?🤣🤣🤣

you’ve still not answered how this benefits the child? A legitimate reason as to how chopping off part of his penis is a benefit to him

sabababa · 04/01/2026 12:24

AmpleMintBalonz · 04/01/2026 12:22

Maybe because they feel they cant be connected to their God without it and fear what will happen if they are not.

Nope. My husband is an atheist and he was circumcised as a baby and totally happy with it

AmpleMintBalonz · 04/01/2026 12:23

Itsmetheflamingo · 04/01/2026 12:21

Of course there are. But where are the men’s 40 page threads arguing about it?

Probably exist on the internet in spaces we do not frequent. As well as across pub tables and work lunch times. All the men I know LOVE debating topics, regardless of how informed they are about it.

sabababa · 04/01/2026 12:23

Blushingm · 04/01/2026 12:20

Not it’s not a medical fact

The biggest risk is anaesthetic - adults have it under general anaesthetic- babies don’t have any or little anaesthetic

Edited

https://www.webmd.com/sexual-conditions/circumcision
You can educate yourself here.
You're welcome.

photo of Circumcision

Circumcision Basics

Circumcision is the surgical removal of the foreskin, the tissue covering the head (glans) of the penis. Learn about the benefits and risks in this overview.

https://www.webmd.com/sexual-conditions/circumcision

AmpleMintBalonz · 04/01/2026 12:22

sabababa · 04/01/2026 12:19

Yes, there are a few. Totally marginal numbers wise considering nearly 40% of men in the world are circumcised.

Maybe because they feel they cant be connected to their God without it and fear what will happen if they are not.

Itsmetheflamingo · 04/01/2026 12:21

AmpleMintBalonz · 04/01/2026 12:16

I believe there are organisations of men against circumcision actually.

Of course there are. But where are the men’s 40 page threads arguing about it?

AmpleMintBalonz · 04/01/2026 12:21

sabababa · 04/01/2026 12:15

Yeah, so that's not ever part of the discourse around male circumcision in Jewish culture, ever, and you're showing total ignorance about male circumcision and why its done.

Edited

It is probably another reason why wider society normalises the practice when it comes to males but would not condone a similarly invasive and permanent procedure on girls for any reason.

sabababa · 04/01/2026 12:20

Itsmetheflamingo · 04/01/2026 12:18

It’s an interesting point that men who are against circumcision aren't visible.

I have been reading the circumcision argument from predominantly women on various internet forums for 20 years. Where are the men having these informal discussions? If I asked my male friends they would be likely be against it but that would also likely be the first conversation they’d ever had about it.

Exactly. It's not circumcised men pushing for it to be banned. Totally different to FGM.

Blushingm · 04/01/2026 12:20

sabababa · 04/01/2026 12:18

Medical fact. You can look it up.

Not it’s not a medical fact

The biggest risk is anaesthetic - adults have it under general anaesthetic- babies don’t have any or little anaesthetic

sabababa · 04/01/2026 12:19

AmpleMintBalonz · 04/01/2026 12:16

I believe there are organisations of men against circumcision actually.

Yes, there are a few. Totally marginal numbers wise considering nearly 40% of men in the world are circumcised.

Itsmetheflamingo · 04/01/2026 12:18

It’s an interesting point that men who are against circumcision aren't visible.

I have been reading the circumcision argument from predominantly women on various internet forums for 20 years. Where are the men having these informal discussions? If I asked my male friends they would be likely be against it but that would also likely be the first conversation they’d ever had about it.

sabababa · 04/01/2026 12:18

Blushingm · 04/01/2026 12:02

How is it more difficult when older? Are you a person who has carried out both?

Medical fact. You can look it up.

Blushingm · 04/01/2026 12:17

sabababa · 04/01/2026 12:15

Yeah, so that's not ever part of the discourse around male circumcision in Jewish culture, ever, and you're showing total ignorance about male circumcision and why its done.

Edited

So yet again I ask you - why is it done? For what (legitimate) reason? What is the benefit to the child?

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