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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think infant circumcision is wrong but also that a total ban on it will not work and is not the most effective way to tackle it?

732 replies

Carla786 · 04/01/2026 00:49

On the recent threads after the tragic death of the baby boy who died from circumcision performed by a non medical professional, there have been a lot of calls for a total ban on here.
Now, I think infant circumcision is very wrong. But in practice I do not think a ban will work.
Most cultural circumcisions are performed by medically trained people. Backstreet ones need to be cracked down on with the full force of the law, but they are not typical.
Second, circumcision is key in Islam. However, while most agree it’s either compulsory or strongly recommended, age requirements are not as stringent in mandating someone has to be a minor. I think there is some hope sensitive campaigning within the community could maybe make more families consider leaving it until their son is at least maybe an older adolescent with more ability to choose.
Judaism – circumcision is central to Orthodox, Ultra Orthodox Haredi ofc, and more liberal Masorti and Reform. It is extremely unlikely that any law or external pressure would stop these practices, because brit milah is a covenantal obligation tied to Jewish identity. Attempting a blanket ban would likely trigger defensiveness, fear, maybe underground circumcisions and probably emigration of at least some to Israel or elsewhere, rather than protect children.
Focusing on sterile procedures, trained practitioners, and medical supervision would be more likely to significantly reduce risk. Jews have experienced persecution for circumcision in the past (e.g., Hellenistic bans and European restrictions), so any attempt to criminalise it today can feel existential. This is only heightened by the terrible upsurge in anti Semitism recently.

I agree with sentiments behind calling for a ban - I just thing measures short of a ban are more likely to work.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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Carla786 · 04/01/2026 14:56

FollowSpot · 04/01/2026 10:52

True. But it does indicate that change is possible when ethics change.

And the point of ritual is that it is… ritual. Ritual can be, and often is, metaphorical or token.

It seems very fundamentalist to me to insist that flesh must literally be cut off.

Scandinavian Jews, in the main, seem to manage without actual flesh removal.

My cousins are Jewish. Their Mum escaped on Kindertransport and was brought up by Jewish relatives here. They maintain Jewish religious and cultural observance but have not circumcised their sons.

I suspect change would happen if the ritual applied to consenting adults rather than babies.

Scandinavians are generally pretty liberal if they are religious, generally.

The UK has a different profile. We have more Orthodox Jews & also one of the largest Haredi communities in Europe, who are very strict, in some ways more so than Haredi in New York or Israel.

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RightOnTheEdge · 04/01/2026 14:55

AddSomeKindness · 04/01/2026 08:04

I apologise if there was any confusion. Did you not see where I mentioned that a boy's foreskin typically doesn’t retract until around the age of 8? This can lead to a buildup of dirt and potentially result in infections. This information was shared with me by the surgeon who performed the minor procedure on our sons.

How do you explain the fact that parents of boys all over the UK and most of Europe manage to wash their boys genitals and keep them clean with no problems?

Are you one of those Americans that chop your dogs ears off because of infections as well?

Carla786 · 04/01/2026 14:54

ScholesPanda · 04/01/2026 14:41

YANBU however much I dislike it.

But it's the mumsnetters standard answer to everything- have teacher ban the naughty thing so it goes away.

That prohibition is often ineffective; courts police and prisons are at breaking point dealing with the already illegal stuff; that the ineffective bans reduce the legitimacy of the police and the law in the eyes of parts of the population and lead to them turning elsewhere for protection; that organised crime grows on and in these shades of grey- none of it matters.

I'll just get responses saying 'if I can't ban everything I want to, why not legalise murder then', as if it's comparable.

Thank you, I agree

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Blushingm · 04/01/2026 14:53

sabababa · 04/01/2026 14:42

Again, you don't know better than the parents of nearly half the worlds better.
The hubris is breath taking.
And while I personally wouldn't hit my children, I have experienced how other cultures raise their children not to say that the way i raise my children is better even if some parents do use physical punishment.

You think physical punishment is acceptable (even though it’s not what you’d do yourself)?

Carla786 · 04/01/2026 14:52

Bestchocolate · 04/01/2026 10:48

@AmpleMintBalonz I just don't see how that would work.

In the UK especially we have been shown time and time again that we are terrified of upsetting communities and being disrespectful to their traditions.
It's also noted that many females from some religions are living according to different rules and rights than those afforded to their white relgion free peers.

So we don't do it on light stuff how can we do it on issues that are hugely personal and intimate to the victim and family ?
Also intervention would pitt a child against its parents ?? Ie extremely emotionally hard to to do.

Maybe the best route is to establish a clear secular society where religion is hugely surpressed ?

France is secular in public sphere but they allow infant circumcision. Though the law probs means they have fewer strictly religious people.

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Blushingm · 04/01/2026 14:51

sabababa · 04/01/2026 14:37

Medical fact is both the small benefits you listed and what I said about medical complications being greater as an adult.
I never said its the main reason to do it.
But given the small benefits and cultural importance and relative ease as a baby, personal choice.

You keep saying medical complications……..what are those????

medical fact - the risk is associated with the anaesthetic - why do you ignore this? There are no other medical facts

The fact remains it’s unnecessary surgery for a baby

Fleurdeville · 04/01/2026 14:51

@sabababa i understand your logic here - you cannot take an isolated act out of context and judge it by standards from a different culture. The problem I see is that, for example, if some one is raised in the UK they live largely by the standards of that society and accept the responsibilities and rights inherent in that society. There will always be a conflict if they have a different faith as that is something they will need to honour and it doesn’t necessarily fit in to the society’s practices. We need to find a satisfactory way to remedy this conflict in line with both the faith and the society - for those individuals who will grow up and live there. It’s addressing this conflict that we seem to get stuck on - it cannot continue being one way or another we need some compromise. The same I think is true for funerals where certain faiths need to have their funeral immediately and this has caused issues with coroners in London who are trying to manage the burials - not addressing the issue sand it’s complexity as OP points out isnt the solution but something like circumcision is not compatible with modern medical advice ( do no harm) the conflict won’t go away and the discourse needs to be shifted to a mindset of finding a solution - this needs rabbis, etc to get involved and accept that interpretation ( a key part of most faiths) is changeable and adaptive when it protects and grows the faith

Twinkletoes127 · 04/01/2026 14:51

Carla786 · 04/01/2026 00:57

Realistically, many Jews may probably leave the UK for Israel or maybe US if we do that. Or maybe circumcise on holiday in another country. Would we arrest them for doing that on holiday?

I can't see this ending well for Jews, Muslims, or the baby boys who will probably end up being circumcised anyway

Imo it's much better to try and work with the communities to ensure proper medical insight & pain relief.

Yes we would arrest and prosecute for taking a child abroad to be mutilated.
Its an arrestable offence for girls and should be for boys

Carla786 · 04/01/2026 14:49

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

I never advocated either of those things, I oppose both.. I just explained the suction thing was not done to sexually abuse, it wax a premodern attempt to reduce risk of infection.

Link to my posts & people will see you're lying about what I said. Why are you doing that?

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SerendipityJane · 04/01/2026 14:48

Otherwise, why isn't there a queue of adult northern European men queuing round the block to be circumcised?

Because it gets longer in hot weather ?

Sparron · 04/01/2026 14:43

sabababa · 04/01/2026 14:37

Medical fact is both the small benefits you listed and what I said about medical complications being greater as an adult.
I never said its the main reason to do it.
But given the small benefits and cultural importance and relative ease as a baby, personal choice.

Its not the personal of choice of the owner of the genitals being mutilated, its the parents imposing that choice.

If infant circumcision was banned, and elective circumcision could only be performed from say, the age of 14 upwards, I'd expect the rate of elective circumcision to plummet. Otherwise, why isn't there a queue of adult northern European men queuing round the block to be circumcised?

sabababa · 04/01/2026 14:42

NotAnotherPylon · 04/01/2026 13:38

I think I know that slicing pieces of skin off tiny babies without anaesthetic is wrong for everyone’s babies (unless for medical reasons), in the same way that I know hitting is wrong for all children. I don’t need to climb inside the heads of the parents gain greater insight. If I see a parent walloping their child, I’m not inclined to think that they know best because it’s their child.

Again, you don't know better than the parents of nearly half the worlds better.
The hubris is breath taking.
And while I personally wouldn't hit my children, I have experienced how other cultures raise their children not to say that the way i raise my children is better even if some parents do use physical punishment.

Carla786 · 04/01/2026 14:42

Bestchocolate · 04/01/2026 10:32

Op I half agree with your pragmatic approach

My heart without a doubt says ban outright

Adults can consent to have it done.

However as you say the reality is that unethical back street places will simply thrive putting these children in even more risk and danger.
If they get damaged parents would be less likely to seek help for fear of punishment .

And yes many will simply get done abroad.

The problem is how to out educate two religions that are drilled in from birth ? Islam says you are born islamic ? Not sure about Judaism ?how can you educate around that ?

Judaism more so as it's not just a religion it's an ethnic group and culture. Some Jewish families still circumcise even if not religious.

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ScholesPanda · 04/01/2026 14:41

YANBU however much I dislike it.

But it's the mumsnetters standard answer to everything- have teacher ban the naughty thing so it goes away.

That prohibition is often ineffective; courts police and prisons are at breaking point dealing with the already illegal stuff; that the ineffective bans reduce the legitimacy of the police and the law in the eyes of parts of the population and lead to them turning elsewhere for protection; that organised crime grows on and in these shades of grey- none of it matters.

I'll just get responses saying 'if I can't ban everything I want to, why not legalise murder then', as if it's comparable.

Carla786 · 04/01/2026 14:41

AmpleMintBalonz · 04/01/2026 10:24

It is to symbolise cutting away sin IIRC. Later on Paul said we can just do it in our minds instead.

I though Paul was talking about non Jewish converts to Christianity to encourage conversion? And that he still thought Jews should do it?

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Carla786 · 04/01/2026 14:39

EmeraldShamrock000 · 04/01/2026 10:29

'And he that is eight days old shall be circumcised among you, every male throughout your generations, he that is born in the house, or bought with money of any foreigner, that is not of thy seed. He that is born in thy house, and he that is bought with thy money, must needs be circumcised; and My covenant shall be in your flesh for an everlasting covenant. And the uncircumcised male who is not circumcised in the flesh of his foreskin, that soul shall be cut off from his people; he hath broken My covenant.
Even more of a reason to ban such barbarous acts on young babies.
That is disturbing.

Yes- but why do you think it's taken so seriously? Within the religion the consequences were traditionally believed to be severe.

I don't agree with it at all but the fact it's part of the covenant makes it more difficult to ban. FGM could be much more easily opposed BY religions as no holy book commands it.

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sabababa · 04/01/2026 14:37

KitWyn · 04/01/2026 14:32

This is not true. We live in the highly privileged western world with 21st century science. Not eating pork (no refrigerators) and removing the foreskin (no hot water) were sensible practices at the time the Holy Books were written. They are unnecessary now.

The small benefits of cleaning being a little easier without a foreskin, are easily addressed by the ready availability of warm showers/baths, soap and basic hygiene education. We don't remove all our teeth, and wear false ones, just to avoid the need for twice daily brushing and remove the risk of tooth decay. That would be silly.

The small reduction in risk of contracting Aids, suggested by some African studies, is much better achieved with the use of condoms and/or PEP/PrEP if a man is in a high-risk category. The evidence for benefits regarding other STIs is very weak and unconvincing.

Chopping off living bits of a healthy baby's body IS child abuse. It SHOULD be banned.

Medical fact is both the small benefits you listed and what I said about medical complications being greater as an adult.
I never said its the main reason to do it.
But given the small benefits and cultural importance and relative ease as a baby, personal choice.

Mischance · 04/01/2026 14:36

It's recommended strongly in the Hadith though. - and?

It does not matter who or what recommends it, it is fundamentally wrong to mutilate a baby.

Of course it will be a challenge to enforce a legal ban on non-medically needed circumcisions; but enforcing many laws is challenging - that does not mean we do not have them in place. Difficulties in enforcing the law are no reason for that law not to be in the statute book.

Carla786 · 04/01/2026 14:36

Hoardasurass · 04/01/2026 10:15

There was a report give to the Scottish Parliament recently that found 1200 cases of fmg had been discovered over the last decade in Scotland (it didn't specify how many happened here and how many were done abroad either before arrival in the UK or the victims being taken abroad for it).
1200 girls/women over a decade is not a small number thats on average 120 a year or 10 per month in a population of 5.5 million men and women. Not all of those girls/women will be immigrants and this is a big problem amongst certain communities with shame and ostracised by the communities of the family if its not done and presure on the victims not to speak out from the family and communities, as such its an extremely under reported crime that often only comes to light when there's complications or due to pregnancy and labour.

As I suspected....😢

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Millytante · 04/01/2026 14:34

Carla786 · 04/01/2026 00:49

On the recent threads after the tragic death of the baby boy who died from circumcision performed by a non medical professional, there have been a lot of calls for a total ban on here.
Now, I think infant circumcision is very wrong. But in practice I do not think a ban will work.
Most cultural circumcisions are performed by medically trained people. Backstreet ones need to be cracked down on with the full force of the law, but they are not typical.
Second, circumcision is key in Islam. However, while most agree it’s either compulsory or strongly recommended, age requirements are not as stringent in mandating someone has to be a minor. I think there is some hope sensitive campaigning within the community could maybe make more families consider leaving it until their son is at least maybe an older adolescent with more ability to choose.
Judaism – circumcision is central to Orthodox, Ultra Orthodox Haredi ofc, and more liberal Masorti and Reform. It is extremely unlikely that any law or external pressure would stop these practices, because brit milah is a covenantal obligation tied to Jewish identity. Attempting a blanket ban would likely trigger defensiveness, fear, maybe underground circumcisions and probably emigration of at least some to Israel or elsewhere, rather than protect children.
Focusing on sterile procedures, trained practitioners, and medical supervision would be more likely to significantly reduce risk. Jews have experienced persecution for circumcision in the past (e.g., Hellenistic bans and European restrictions), so any attempt to criminalise it today can feel existential. This is only heightened by the terrible upsurge in anti Semitism recently.

I agree with sentiments behind calling for a ban - I just thing measures short of a ban are more likely to work.

Even if a total ban didn’t eradicate the loathsome practice, that doesn’t argue against a government showing some backbone and doing the right thing.

There was a most enlightening comments section t’other day in the Daily Torygraph on the subject of banning ritual halal slaughter.
(Cruelty thereof, unwarranted by any modern concerns, exactly the same as ritual circumcision of infants.)
A prominent rabbi (poss. Chief?) had an opinion piece in the edition in which he argued that such a ban would be unfair to observant Jews.

Putting aside his automatic assumption that the proposal was generated only by opposition to the practices of British Muslims, he must have been gobsmacked at the level of support for a total ban no matter whose ancient beliefs it may offend.
Among the many surprisingly reasonable comments were some from Jewish readers who pointed out that the requirement for halal butchering had long been overtaken by modern standards in beef production, whatever about eschewing pork for other reasons.
He explained (as do others here in pp) that Judaism may adapt itself to great necessity such as the law, as can Islam, and he cited other ways too in which observance is not outraged.
(Mere convenience doesn’t meet the case, of course)

Carla786 · 04/01/2026 14:34

somanychristmaslights · 04/01/2026 10:22

Quotes like that make me so cross about religion. It doesn’t say why - why is a foreskin bad? And if that was the case, surely evolution would have changed it?

No - it's meant to be a sign to set believers apart. I don't think it's meant to imply foreskins are bad as such.

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Carla786 · 04/01/2026 14:32

IDontHateRainbows · 04/01/2026 10:08

It's not being done for the sexual pleasure of the perpetrator.

Or if pleasure isn't the right word, gratification, or whatever.

Exactly

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KitWyn · 04/01/2026 14:32

sabababa · 04/01/2026 12:18

Medical fact. You can look it up.

This is not true. We live in the highly privileged western world with 21st century science. Not eating pork (no refrigerators) and removing the foreskin (no hot water) were sensible practices at the time the Holy Books were written. They are unnecessary now.

The small benefits of cleaning being a little easier without a foreskin, are easily addressed by the ready availability of warm showers/baths, soap and basic hygiene education. We don't remove all our teeth, and wear false ones, just to avoid the need for twice daily brushing and remove the risk of tooth decay. That would be silly.

The small reduction in risk of contracting Aids, suggested by some African studies, is much better achieved with the use of condoms and/or PEP/PrEP if a man is in a high-risk category. The evidence for benefits regarding other STIs is very weak and unconvincing.

Chopping off living bits of a healthy baby's body IS child abuse. It SHOULD be banned.

Carla786 · 04/01/2026 14:31

AmpleMintBalonz · 04/01/2026 09:52

I dont know why people fall for this idea that unless we permit abohorrent and archaic practices, people will feel unwelcome and leave and that speaks badly of us as a society.

We arent even consistent with that belief though. We dont seem to care what some groups think and then care massively about others.

What groups do you think we don't care about?

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Carla786 · 04/01/2026 14:31

Blushingm · 04/01/2026 09:55

You are away that there isn’t just 1 type of FGM?

Religious practices aren’t any less wrong that cultural practices.

Many men in the US are circumcised because it is the norm not because if a region - it’s actually often routinely offered in hospital after giving birth.

Type 4 is more like circumcision yes, but types 1 2 and 3 are more common and much worse than circumcision.

OP posts: