My nanny got cosmetic surgery and can’t work

That is annoying. First issue is next 3 weeks. Which parts of your writing/part time study can be moved to evening while dh looks after dc and what time off can he request to cover some. Its unfortunate not to go to diplomatic events, but i am sure for 3 weeks will be fine sounds like a nice to do but non essential.

Second issue is process for nanny if she requires cosmetic surgery in future, how would you like it to work so that it is more managable going forward.

I'd pay her wages for the sick leave she has left. Seek proper advice (do optional surgeries count?) and make sure she is paid at least for the minimum required time and any severence pay. Give her notice.
I don't think the Nanny should be rewarded with continued employment for not telling you of the surgery ahead of time.

Use her cousin for the mornings until you have found another employee to replace your Nanny/housekeeper.

Why are people saying the nanny is treated like a slave? The oldest child is in school and the youngest goes part time to nursery. What’s wrong with the nanny being paid to clean and do laundry in those hours?

If she's foreign office staff of course they don't pay for their housing, thats how postings work.

I was an expat for years, housing, driver, allowances for personal expenses, staff, international schooling were all part of the package, plus two round trips home a year, all as standard.

Irrespective of where the OP is or the job spec, short notice unavailability like this for planned surgery is completely unacceptable.

Op I don't want you to think too deeply about what I'm about to ask, it is merely curiosity and I am not implying anything at all. The thought wouldn't cross my mind.

What did your husband think of her procedure?

Op can't even tell posters what country shes living in because it's controversial. If she was hiring a nanny in London she can look online and find a nanny agency. She can't do that she has to rely on the local people.

A slave 😂please! I have a housekeeper who also is a nanny for my children in the UK! It’s a job which shes taken and does amazingly. People like you will probably lose their shit for that because youve never had that option so don't know how it works so you’re bitter. She’s not looking after the kids whilst ironing and cleaning etc. she comes in the morning, tidies up for an hour, then looks after the children for couple of hours then sorts out laundry, ironing when I take over the children. Just what I do on days she’s not working. Getting paid £20ph for that - how is that a slavery? We also use her on occasional evenings when me and DP want an evening out. She lets me know about her holidays or medical procedures well in advance because she’s professional and respectful.
OP going forward I wouldn’t pay for her unplanned time off and I’d give her a warning. Depending how she responds to it I’d decide whether to keep her. It’s hard to find a good nanny and obviously she already must have a good relationship with your children but unfortunately this might damage the relationship so maybe better to look for someone else.

I don’t know why people find it so hard to understand there are jobs other than nanny’s which do involve this wider role. In the area of london live in, it’s common here too. They’re well paid and know what they’re signing up to.

It’s not uncommon in the U.K. either. If you search any domestic recruitment agency you will see many adverts for nanny-housekeepers which encompass multiple roles. If the employee has willingly consented to the role, why not?

I'd be worried that if you pay her it will set a precedent for her having further surgeries on your time. I'd refuse to pay her, and tell her it's unpaid as it's so short notice this time.

Presumably she has had appointments with doctors to discuss this procedure and then had to book it in, so she knew in advance she would be unable to work, and so could have given you notice to make alternative arrangements. It isn't at all like breaking an ankle which is typically unplanned.

I reckon she knew you wouldn't agree and decided that seeking forgiveness rather than permission was the best way to achieve what she wanted. It's up to you to decide whether she is a good enough nanny to let her get away with it or not. In these circumstances I think you would be justified to get a replacement, but it may still take 3-4 weeks before you could find someone and them start, so you will still have to cope in the interim. The question is whether you can get over this and trust her in future or do you think the trust you had in her is gone?

It’s totally out of order for her to spring elective surgery like this on you after the fact. She must have known for several weeks if not months that she was having the surgery. You would be justified in sacking her but that would depend on the laws in that country, how easy it is to find a replacement and how good an employee she has been so far.

Yes, they know what's in your house and how much you've got but if you don't hire the local people then it's trouble. The op is making out it's some idyllic lifestyle it's not.

Is she a good nanny housekeeper? Do your children like her? Are you comfortable with her in your home? If it's yes to all those then I'd say suck it up, it's only three weeks.

Peak mumsnet!

Everyone definitely does not have a housekeeper, nanny and driver 😂

Dogsbody for the entitled in other words!!

Then she'll gave to take it as holiday and/ or sick leave. Yes I agree short notice, surely she knew in advance she was having this surgery.
So how would you manage if she was seriously ill, car accident, emergency operation, that would be time off at short notice, you'd manage then.

Well it sounds like you pay well.

I guess you need to decide between you whether this is acceptable. For me, no, it wouldn’t be.

She could have booked it in for the beginning of her leave, asked you in advance if she could take 4 weeks instead of 3 and you would have been able to make arrangements for her cover. Instead she has blindsided you and left you in the lurch.

Get legal advice re employment law in your country.

UMC TYVM 😆

Fire her. She should have informed you properly of the situation. Failure to turn up for work for a non-reason like this is gross misconduct.

She should have had the work done while you were away for three weeks. She's been deceitful IMO

OP's nanny does cooking, cleaning and laundry services!!!!!!!!!!
In addition to cc

Not ideal for you and poor planning by the nanny but I think you’ll manage somehow while you look for other help .
I managed with 3 children ( one with disabilities) and did absolutely everything at home too with no help whatsoever

I did the same as a teacher of year one! She is being ridiculous.