My nanny got cosmetic surgery and can’t work

Is the point that:
if you have used childcare, the childminder or nursery staff is employed to do something you could do yourself (eg be a SAHP)
if your children are in school, the teacher is employed to do something you could do yourself (eg home educate)
If you've ever eaten in a restaurant, the staff have to cook the meal and serve it to you (as opposed to you cooking yourself and eating at home)
If you have takeaway delivery, staff are paid to cook the meal and deliver it to you (again, as opposed to you cooking it yourself)
If your rubbish is collected, the refuse collectors are paid to empty your bins (instead of you driving to the tip or landfill yourself)

ie, in all of the above, people are paid to provide a service, be it childcare, teaching, cooking, refuse collection; paying a nanny is the same principle as paying for any other service.

I'm guessing somewhat because the first post in the sub-thread was removed by MN.

I have 3 children
Both my husband and I worked full time and never have we used childcare apart from when they went to school, yes it is possible, my husband worked 40 hours a week and I worked 36 hours!
So yes, it is possible

You could ask other parents who uses childminders to look after your children for 3 weeks. You can use that time to try and find another nanny. She is taking the piss having surgery without giving you time to find a temporary nanny. I think she done it on purpose so you don't replace her. I hope you do find someone else so her little plan backfires.

I have and am still none the wiser!

Try reading my original post again.

This is unexaptable from her hope she don't expect you to pay for her sick leave

Can you imagine the replies if the thread was 'My childminder is supposed to reopen after the Christmas holidays tomorrow but she's just text me to say she's taking the next three weeks off and isn't planning to refund my fees' 😂
Everyone would be advising the mum to trash her on facebook and report her to Ofsted to get the bitch closed down.

Please do @Crispychillifriedbeef . Which continent do you live in?

Finding people's responses baffling. Of course the nanny took the piss. And I have a feeling if OP was an entitled monster, the nanny wouldn't have dared tried this.

She had elective cosmetic surgery for goodness sake, it wasn't an emergency medical issue which would warrant patience, understanding and paid sick leave, despite any inconvenience caused.

Is there an AMA from a diplomat's wife? I'd love to read what it's actually like to be one.

I have no idea what you mean.

When DS was in the UAE it was expected that you hire people if you were a couple or family. The workers were there on licence , sending money home to family.

@Crispychillifriedbeef I suspected this employee would have more surgery in the pipeline. Do some research on recovery time after breast surgery. She may not be able to lift etc. for some time.

Many people on here really don't get that it works differently in other countries. In India if you are middle class (which is not the same as UK middle class) you are expected to hire one or more domestic maids. If you don't then people will judge you for not supporting locals. It is so common to have a driver and security too if you are of a standard with UK middle class. It isn't luxury, it is seen as a social obligation and it also creates jobs for people. UK is oddly judgy about people paying for help with anything. If you don't do it all yourself and wear yourself down gradually into a joyless stump, you are clearly lazy and spoiled!

Neither is eating in a restaurant or having your rubbish taken away.

Absolutely!

She's not the devil though tbf.

This sounds like the one and only time there's been an issue.

You've said you're unhappy, she's reducing her time off request to a third.

You've laid out the rules if she wants to have any more surgery so she's now fully aware of what's expected and what's unacceptable.

Wipe the slate clean. She seems good at her job. Up until now you've been very happy with her, your children love her and she's been very reliable.

She doesn't deserve one strike and she's out. If something happens again then fair enough but give her a chance. Noone is perfect. She's made a mistake, you've sorted a solution out so let it go and move on.

Normal for wealthy people - the majority of the population do not have household help and more comfortable lives.

Here's an example of how normal is is in some countries, to have domestic staff.

A friend of mine is in a similar situation to OP. She has a housekeeper and a driver/odd job man. Both those staff members have staff of their own! Her housekeeper has a nanny, and her driver has a housekeeper!

It's really not just the upper echelons and diplomats that live this way (and this is in a poor country). It's not remotely unusual, at least in the towns and cities, and without it the poorest would have no income at all.

Just because something is out of the realms of one's experience, doesn't make it wrong or exploitative. If you treat your employees well, then you've provided valuable employment, just as I provide (two hours worth) of employment to my cleaner.

What an astonishingly false equivalence. I have no idea why you think that relevant to this thread.

I have a cleaner, here in the UK. Do you honestly think that has any equivalent at all to a local man seeing a sex worker?

I pressed YABU by mistake. Glad you are not being placed in a lengthy absence situation. She was unreasonable. I would expect her to take annual leave for that kind of cosmetic surgery.

I wonder if it’s also the ‘done thing’ in this country for relatively wealthy men to use sex workers and if the OP and others would be so blasé about that as they are domestic labour.