My nanny got cosmetic surgery and can’t work

I am sure one of the locals will sort you out soon.

Obvious to you maybe. Looks pretty oblivious to a lot of people.

FGS!

There should be a new joiners test for Mumsnet: if you arent capable of taking an OPs words in the spirit or context of their post or allowing for some generalisation, then its not the forum for you.

And if you had RTFT you would have noted that the OP had already updated her reference to “everyone”.

I'm fascinated by the claim "This is normal for the culture here. Everyone has a housekeeper / nanny / driver."

Everyone?

I'll accept nannies only for those with children.

So the nanny also has a housekeeper, and driver? The housekeeper has a housekeeper? The driver's driver has a driver and so on?

Or, when you say "Everyone" does that actually mean all the white people? Or all the rich people? The actual staff are presumably not counted as actual people in the mental gymnastics of "Everyone has a housekeeper etc".

Alternatively, genuinely, every single person genuinely has a nanny and housekeeper, in which case, no problem, the nanny's nanny can surely step in, don't know what all the fuss is about.

And I've worked for 4 diplomat families. Only one had their accommodation, nanny and cleaner paid for. The others did not, so that a huge assumption.

They were all respectful and treated any of their "staff" extremely well and with the respect we deserved. Honestly, some of you need to wind your judgmental unpleasant necks in

I am so confused as to how people have made OP the bad guy, her nanny wants to leave them in the lurch for 3 weeks instead of communicating.

There is NOWHERE that says they treat their nanny poorly and to imply that all nannies are slaves is fucking offensive to nannies.

There is no difference using a nanny then using wraparound childcare, nurseries or childminders. It is in fact, due to flexibility, in many situations a better and in some, a more affordable option then the childcare MN seems to think is ok rather then the pathetic snobbery over nannies.

and this bullshit I know you won't want to hear this but I think it's disgraceful that you make her do all of those chores as well as looking after the children. Looking after children and cooking for them should be all she does as a nanny! is crap. Do you know the agreement between the OP and her nanny? because I do all of these tasks and charge £27ph for it, I don't need your sympathy and im sure nor does she. Stop trying to save nannies from their employers, we do not need saving, we work fucking hard and most of its are good at our jobs.

This thread is bonkers.

OP your nanny was pushing the boundaries and you rightly called it out.

If i posted on here that I had got some cash at xmas, had been able to book some last minute cosmetic surgery, and AIBU to expect my employer to cover 4 weeks paid leave to recuperate (that was outside my terms of employment), then i would fully expect to be roundly told i was being unreasonable.

The narrative of working parents who use nannies “not raising their own children” is so boring. My partner and I both work full time and have used after school nannies to get by and are currently using after school clubs. We have close relationships with our happy kids and we are also earning and spending and saving and paying a lot of tax. Nothing to apologise for here, so kindly jog on, to the posters spouting that crap.

Well it would be, to be fair. She would be very easily identifiable if she told us where she was, and as the wife of a diplomat, she's not able to put a foot wrong, with regard to social media and privacy.

I'm guessing Asia

Because it's 'outing'

Different country, different culture, domestic worker/servant. Rightly or wrongly, it's standard in many countries.

I wasn’t ashamed as I didn’t do it.

Except:

1. the nanny/housekeeper/odd jobs woman isn't demanding sick pay, from what the OP has said
2. I haven't seen such vehement language on Mumsnet in relation to childminders (bitch, trash her etc)
3. posters are reacting to what they perceive to be the immense privilege of the OP and her husband and the knowledge that in some countries, domestic servants are treated very badly

Assuming Christmas etc is celebrated and/or constitutes a public holiday in 'outing' not discloses country in which OP lives

You shouldn't feel ashamed of using childcare for your young children, most parents do.
Good childcare has lots of benefits for children including early education.
Of course the nursery staff probably weren't paid enough to afford cosmetic surgery...

For diplomats - not people in the diplomatic service - in my experience, that's simply not true. As part of the package and to facilitate the role of a diplomat in carrying out diplomatic functions and hospitality and residence, accommodation is provided together with a driver, housekeeper/cleaner and chef.

I've lived in Hong Kong and other Asian countries and seen how domestic workers are treated by the expats and wealthy Asians who employ them. Serving the family 24/7 and having to have secret relationships like teenagers, having sex/intimacy in tents on the street on their rare days off, because there is nowhere else for them to go and have a private moment. There's a big backstreet abortion industry because these women cannot usually risk the financial consequences of having their own children. There is also a lot of evidence that these people are often trafficked from e.g. the Philippines for this kind of work. So not 'basically the same' but yes equally exploitative. And that's before we get to the impact on the kids of having a servant carry out their basic care day-to-day.

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judgemental as fuck!

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2.5 hours some mornings