My nanny got cosmetic surgery and can’t work

I’d be very surprised if this is true, I am having an eye lift and using annual leave. I work in the NHS and would expect to be laughed at for thinking you could use sick leave for this purpose

I lived your life for many years. You are not unreasonable to be annoyed. However, domestic servants are not quite like other employees. They're in your home every day; mine lived in the same compound. You trust them to care for your precious children. If she has otherwise been a good nanny, then she's worth her weight in gold, so I'd find a workaround and keep her. But have a talk with her that this can't happen again or you'll be forced to replace her with someone more trustworthy.

Yes, doesn’t make it right. A mother would be hard pushed looking after her own children doing all the chores required. House keeper, nanny, driver. Madness.

Nanny or not, she is an employee and you can’t just ring up a few days before work and say you need it off to recover from cosmetic surgery 😂

You're employing 1 member of staff to do the role of 3 (housekeeping/ cleaning & laundry are not part of a nanny's duties). So if you overwork her, she can do this.

My ex is a diplomat and i’m sure you can be excused for 3-4wks. No not ideal, and she should have discussed it, but it’s not the end of the world, you can manage. I’d look for someone more reliable.

Appreciate it’s annoying. But surely your DH can cope with going to some evening functions on his own for a couple of weeks? Unless you are the Princess of Wales, I think you can get away with skipping a few. Most working parents have to manage these sorts of inconveniences. You are in an unusually privileged position for most British women (assuming you are British).

She does not need 3-4 weeks recovery for an eye lift, she’s taking the piss. I’ve had it done and I’d say a week needed max. And since it’s a choice she’s not sick and I wouldn’t be paying her

there are 2 things here

1. can you manage without her by re jigging things and not going to some functions etc? If not, you will need a temp and tell her the time off is unpaid (I suspect she will make a miraculous recovery - do you even have a doctors note or just her word?)

2. is it worth keeping her on at all?

in a lot of countries childcare options are very limited and having a nanny is considered the norm. I can see why motherhood is so devalued when people attitude to Nanny’s is the way it is

No wonder the NHS is going down the tubes if employees get paid sick leave for cosmetic surgery. That’s outrageous.

Not wanting to be seen doesn’t fulfil the criteria of sick leave.

tbh I’m not sure elective cosmetic surgery does either.

and for eyelid surgery she will be physically fit in a week

my work contract specifically says if you are having elective cosmetic surgery you have to take annual leave so you’d have to give notice, so I couldn’t ring work Monday morning and call in sick because I’d had an elective op.

this all depends on how good a Nanny she is. Is she worth holding on to? If she is, then let her know you aren’t happy and either don’t pay her or pay the minimum sick leave she has. And then move on and hopefully she learn not to be a CF.

or if actually she’s ok but nothing great then just give her notice.

Apart from my children going to school, I’ve never had any paid childcare!
Both my husband and myself worked full time

I don't think so - The NHS Terms and Conditions of Service (Agenda for Change) state that there is no entitlement to occupational/contractual sick pay for purely elective or cosmetic procedures.

Electing to have cosmetic surgery without discussing the scheduling with your employer and going deliberatly absent without leave when not actually sick and when expected to be at work would definitely result in a disciplinary hearing if not actual sacking.

You may be right that someone doing this might get SSP if recovery takes longer than expected, if they didn't get summarily sacked for gross misconduct for the initial absense (or if they properly booked unpaid leave for a normal expected recovery period and then were not able to return to work when expected). Given that OP's nanny had the procedure yesterday, if they were in the UK the entitlement for SSP wouldn't have been reached yet.

OP does she acknowledge how inconvenient this is for you? Has it come as a total shock that you’re annoyed?

I do hope you've never used paid childcare? Do you homeschool your children? Ever ate in a restaurant? Had a takeaway delivered? Get your rubbish picked up by binmen? How hypocritical of you, if you do.

I’ve had a nanny and being able to trust them is imperative to me.

I do I work alongside her as a midwife. She has an older child 10 and a 3 yr old She shares childcare with her husband and works nights.

OP said surgery was yesterday

I’m UK based with generous pad sick leave, it’s very clear that it doesn’t cover cosmetic surgery.

Majority of parents don't look after their children full time. Most have childcare because they have to work.
Not many nannies in our area but plenty of nurseries and childminders, do you think all families should have a SAHP?

Wow. How unbelievably rude are you.

It would be catastrophic if you worked evenings, but that is not what you have told us. You said your husband works full time and you are a writer and part time student. So are the 'diplomatic functions' really essential for you to attend to a degree that you can't forgo them for 3 weeks? I would question how much you value the nanny and if she is really part of the family, and how you would manage without one before you act hastily.