Would you go 12 hours away, pregnant in the snow? How late in pregnancy would you travel?

He booked it because there was a decent chance of snow, there's no point looking back with hindsight and saying in fact it was just rain.

It was their decision to cancel - they could have had a lovely time with the kids and your parents. That isn't for you to worry about.

We did a similar journey up to Loch Fyne last year. It was a long old drive, even stopping overnight halfway. I'd have found it quite uncomfortable if I'd been heavily pregnant.

I would up until a couple of weeks before due date, they do have hospitals in Scotland! I’m fine with snow, I don’t get the sheer panic that the media whips up about a few inches at most

I think you were sensible putting you and baby first. Your family should have gone without you and your brother's reaction cancelling it was an over-reaction and a shame for his kids and the grandparents. Not your problem. I say this as an IVF Mum.

Are you sure about that? Inverness airport to Durness (furthest point of NW Scotland) is about 2 hr 45m. Not 4.5 hours.
I know the area well. Maternity services are spread out, but there's an MLU in Wick so probably pretty close to where you were going based on your 4.5 hour overestimation!
It is further to travel to get to places, but people do manage to live and work here year round. It's not the moon.

I think it was a bit unreasonable of brother to book something so far away at a time of year when travel is often difficult, and expect the family to make such a long journey, regardless of your pregnancy. He could have booked the family Christmas get together somewhere easier to get to then taken his children to see snow separately.

But then having booked it, he needn't have cancelled, unless perhaps other family members were also not happy with the length of journey.

Hope the remainder of your pregnancy goes well.

(I must say when I saw your thread title, I was tempted to ask if your name is Mary.)

I have a history of miscarriage, so I wouldn't have done it. However, I wouldn't have left it till the last minute to say so. I would have said something fairly early on.

If you are due end of Feb you would have known by June/July you were indeed pregnant. That was the point at which you should have spoken up.

it depends on many factors but i wouldn’t have ruled it out right away.

I think it was unfortunate that you didn't tell anyone in advance and it seems like you cancelled plans at the last minute so I can understand people's frustration. Surely it wouldn't have been a long flight if you didn't fancy driving?

At 7 months pregnant I would have made the effort to get together especially given your brother lives abroad and you most likely won't want to see people next year once you've had the baby.

I would travel anywhere, until about 37 weeks. But I am lucky to have low risk pregnancies.

Depending on how the pregnancy was going, I'd think it would probably be uncomfortable around 32-34 weeks by car, 36 by train. Plus you would have to take all the baby stuff just in case.

The snow wouldn't bother me... my DD2 was born in an isolated army base during a snowstorm.

It's a shame they cancelled altogether.
How far from a maternity unit would you have been? I think that would have been my main consideration! More than 2 hours I wouldn't have been comfortable with, and the later on in pregnancy the closer I'd want to be! But we all have different levels of risk we are comfortable with.

If you had a long journey there and back with lots of sitting I would be concerned about DVT risk as it increases in pregnancy and fertility treatment can also be a risk factor.

For me it’s less about the being there and more about the getting there. In my second pregnancy I had issues with my pelvis so I couldn’t have travelled for hours comfortably because I couldn’t sit for long periods.

I think you were unreasonable, sorry. How were you going to get there? I assume flying and hiring a car, or train. Would that be 12 hours away? If it was 12 hours’ driving, I wouldn’t like that.

How far would you have been from a hospital? How likely was it you would get snowed in where you were staying? How many weeks pregnant? How were you getting there?

It seems to me that there should have been a compromise to be made. Staying somewhere closer (so less driving/travelling), where you know you could get to hospital if needed. Ideally where your DB and his wife could drive to see snow!

How would you have travelled there?