AIBU to think DD is sooo unbelievably lazy and wants constant entertainment

I'm really unclear what the problem is.

Why does she need to close her curtains when leaving a room?

She does entertain herself because she was colouring when you called her away to help with the lights.

I don't see any evidence at all that she's lazy. She isn't failing to turn lights off because it's a huge effort but because she's 10. She doesn't want to do boring household tasks because she's 10. Her only crimes seem to be being 10...

I always tell my 15yo DD what we're doing, even if it's mundane, because then when I'm still relaxing on the sofa, she'll say "I thought we were sorting out my bedroom" or whatever, in that classic way that teens do, and that way it feels like her suggestion, not mine.
Gotta play them at their own game!

A 10 year old doesn't need a phone, that won't be helping the situation at all

My eldest always likes to know what we’re doing. She’s 11 and it seems a control thing. Over breakfast give her an idea of the day’s plans that will probably do the job. I also have to remind endlessly about dirty laundry, towels on the floor etc. I don’t think it’s unusual at this age.
I think at 10 she will understand the difference between your house and dad’s house so I wouldn’t try to match the spending. More importantly do stuff she enjoys with her.

I think with the lights it might be failing to let her know that was the plan.

If she was colouring then she was engaged in a task. Now to you it might not be considered as important a task as putting the decorations away (it isn't), but it will be to her. I bet it she asks you to help her when you're in the middle of something you might ask her to wait or tell her you can't right now. She can't do that, so she stops what she's doing but is then grumpy.

If you'd said in the morning "this afternoon we need to put the decorations away" she'd be prepared and perhaps less moany (although no guarantees, she is still a tween!). But she would at least know what was expected.

You actually don't need to entertain kids. If she says she's bored give her a list of chores she could do and she'll miraculously find something to do.

I’m struggling to understand the problem - she sounds like a completely normal ten year old to me. Just wait till she get to 14!

I got in trouble for leaving lights on and not putting dishes next to the sink back in the 90's, so I suspect it's more of a 10yo thing then a generational thing.

Could the asking about what your doing next/tomorrow, be just a request for information, not an expectation to be doing somethingexciting. My DS can be anxious, so likes to know what we're doing in advance, but it's absolutely fine for me to say "we're having an at home day"

The leaving lights on/not putting packets away is just par for the course with pre-teens/teens (unless they're naturally very tidy). She will get there, but you'll need to nag for another circa 8 years and then she'll probably need to live on her own before she really, properly realises (potentially even have her own kids who do it before she REALLY knows where you're coming from).

The constantly asking what's going to happen next is reasonable on her part. She's at the age where she cares about what's happening, but has absolutely no power to influence it so it's a bit annoying/anxiety inducing for them. Just tell her what the plan for the next few days is. It doesn't need to be full of activity and adventure it can be... 'Sunday morning we're at home, you'll need to entertain yourself. Then we'll go for a walk after lunch for about an hour and after that you can invite a friend over around 3pm who can stay for tea'.

Learning to plan and manage her time and calender is a vital skill so it's actively good for her to be given the schedule ahead of time and be expected to be ready for each thing as it comes along. If you get her to write it down you can also point her back to it if she keeps asking.

You can't control how things work on her dad's time so try to disregard that and focus on how you want your house to run. Set up some guidelines about throwing rubbish away, switching lights off to help the environment if that motivates her. Think about what does motivate her, and also praise her for the thoughtfulness you mention. Look for things you can do together that get you out but are less expensive (stating the obvious, but..) if you got cinema passes for both of you it'd be about 40 a month total but then you could go as much as you wanted. But she will need to tidy up and switch the lights off first!

I've got a 10 yr old and he needs a lot of direction/asking but he does do it. He doesn't have a phone though.

He loves playing with lego and cars and will happily spend hours on the trampoline and in the garden with a football so I don't have the entertainment issue at all.

I think you just need to keep up with your expectations and standards.