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Original poster

Children and phones/consoles

29 replies

Emmashouse · 03/01/2026 11:07

Wasn’t really sure what to title this, but I feel as though I’m fighting a losing battle.

I have two sons 10yo and 18yo. So have already been through navigating screens/mobile phones/games consoles.

But I feel as though since I went through it all with ds1 it’s all got much worse.

We got ds2 a games console for Christmas last year. I was reluctant but he loves it and it has been really good for his confidence as he plays with his friends. We have it downstairs in the lounge so that we can keep an eye on him.

We gave him one of our old phones when he went into year 6, mainly because he walks home. He’s not really that interested in the phone but inevitably he’s exchanged numbers with school friends.

Anyway on to my point. I have rules, so for example he has to come off his games console at 9pm on school nights and 10pm on weekends. He doesn’t go on it every day because he plays sports.

However most of his friends seem to be allowed to play until whatever time they like even on school nights. As regards the mobile phone lots of the friends are up until 3-4 in the morning, loads of them are on tik tok, Instagram, Snapchat. The WhatsApp groups are awful so I’ve just removed ds. They all watch things like Dexter (they are 10 and 11 years old).

All he parents are nice but I feel as though half of them have taken leave of their senses also ds feels I'm too strict because I have a few rules!

There are so many children at school with behaviour issues, being assessed for ADHD, they have anxiety. Not at all saying these things don’t exist but the lifestyle can’t be helping.

There are one or two parents who completely don’t allow any of these things but their children seem to be left out.

What’s best way to navigate it all?

OP posts:
Cheeseandonioncrispswithmytea · 03/01/2026 12:44

Only way to navigate it all is ‘you do you’

let others parent as they wish.

but you set the rules for tech in your house.

following the crowd (especially on the word of what a young child says about ‘everyone else’s parents let them’ ) is foolish

explain to your child your rules, your rational for them (you need time to sleep, you need time off screens etc) maybe be more lenient on times allowed at weekends or holidays compared to school nights

you will not win the ‘popularity contest’ by parenting this way - but you will be doing what you need to - parenting them, setting clear boundaries rather than letting them run amok with tech and online with disastrous consequences.

they won’t thank you for it now - but one day eventually when they are grown with their own kids they may understand and respect you for helping them with these boundaries.

PinkHairbrushClub · 03/01/2026 12:34

I’ve done a bit of a middle like you. Mine have devices and consoles but also time limits and age limits. We still have “bedtime” and devices away time.

apparently I’m the strictest of parents in my daughter’s Friend group around tech and access, and I thought I was pretty flexible!

I don’t think preventing access altogether is helpful as, as with anything, they need to learn how to manage their access and time. But I agree, it’s a hard line to find.

Endofyear · 03/01/2026 12:29

I think your rules sound perfectly reasonable for an 11 year old! Don't worry what his friends are allowed - as my mum used to say when we complained, we'll I'm not their parent, I'm yours and I'm doing what's best for you!

Foxyloxy89 · 03/01/2026 11:08

Not sure how to navigate but I totally agree!