...To Think There Is Male Shopping Brain...?

I have, sadly, met men like this. And I do think that sometimes the reason we think they don’t exist is that women are covering for them, either deliberately or unconsciously.

Excellent post.

Yesterday MIL and I were making a lasagne but realised (once we got to the point of assembly) that we’d not got any lasagne sheets (not sure what that says about our female brains!). FIL popped out to the shops to get some along with top ups of milk, bread etc entirely unprompted. I had assumed that this was because he’s a functioning adult with common sense, had no idea that he was actually defying his brain chemistry.

Mine likes to go about 6 times a day to buy things like nigella seeds… he’s more a ‘big match’ performer- will decide to cook something random (and delicious) and will completely fail to check ‘if we have any milk’ or ‘what’s going out of date in the fridge’ - it’s infuriating (particularly when I’m the planner / shopper) apparently it’s too much pressure to decide in advance what one might want to eat in advance…
he also used to buy tiny portions of things - ie a single pint of milk, small pack of loo roll necessitating further shopping trips. I would swear he was having an affair with the checkout woman in Sainsbury’s if I didn’t know better…

I agree with you, @Eudaimonia11 .
I've never met a man like this, in my family or my friendship group.
I have a nephew with significant additional needs and he has been taught to do a shop, and does it well.

There is no such thing as a "type of brain". We're all different, but we can all improve and adapt. If you're not very good at something fairly basic and essential for every day life, you train yourself. Shopping? Take note of what is needed. Literally. Make a list and tick it off.
It doesn't require a "certain type of brain" and it certainly doesn't depend on the sex of the owner.

Are we married to the same man? 😂

It might not be strategic incompetence, it might be control or selfishness.

My XH would sometimes tell me he'd do the shopping this week. Great, saved me a job. And he'd come back with things he thought the kids ought to eat (we had five under nine). So lots of fresh salads, good healthy eating stuff.
But nothing to make meals with. Nothing that the kids would eat in sufficient quantity that it wouldn't go off. Salad veg with nothing to have with it is a bit pointless, let alone that two kids wouldn't even look at it. So I'd have to go out anyway and would come back with the fishfingers and tins of beans that they would eat and he'd huff and puff and say that obviously his help wasn't welcome and I'd rather buy rubbish. I wouldn't, but the kids had to eat.

It was control. He genuinely thought that if he starved the kids and bought nothing that they liked to eat, they would give in and eat salad for every meal.

I think there are two main types of brain.

One is very good at seeing the overall picture and making it fit together. The other type is not so good at that, but can really focus on one or two aspects and get to grips with those.

I think that generally woman have the first type and men have the second type. Women, generally ARE far more organised than men and the reason why so many men are successful is that they have bloody brilliant women in their companies and at home doing the important thinking and organising to allow them to concentrate on whatever it is they do.

I am far more organised than my DH, but in fairness he has other attributes to bring to the table that make up for my weaknesses. But that said, he does go shopping and he does get what we need, and has learnt from previous experience to stick to the sodding list, do not go off-piste and come back with stuff that is not needed and won't fit in the freezer.

It took a bit of work, but he learnt.

So can yours OP, you have to tell him why it's wrong. Give him a pen and paper, tell him write down what you actually need and send him back out with the list.

No, he just sounds incompetent.

This. I’ve 2 ExH and a current DP and all manage to do food shops. Send him back out!

I swear it’s only on MN where men are incapable of shopping, buying presents, raising children, cooking, cleaning, and generally being adults!

The men I meet in real life are nothing like the stereotypical MN husband who is capable of working in a full time job with all sorts of serious responsibilities, earning “six figures”, managing big teams of people, yet can’t manage his own household or go in a shop for a bottle of milk. Able to make complex decisions and project manage in a fast paced environment but can’t arrange parents evening or buy his mother a Christmas present.

I imagine this thread was meant to be funny and lighthearted but there’s too many of these “aren’t our husbands silly little boys” posts all over MN.

No, just him I’m afraid. Incompetence isn’t related to your genitals. If a woman did this, would you say it was down to her having a female brain?

Odd how men are 90% of world leaders, CEOs, generals and rich people. And they can’t remember bananas.

Or, here’s a thought, the crap ones don’t give a shit about jobs they think are female.

My DH can shop.

Nope. As others have said DH does all our food shopping and meal planning. Sometimes online, sometimes in person. It's not a male brain, it's an individual thing.

He is also far far better at choosing and buying presents than I am.

I bet he doesn't do this at work? Unless he has a recognised disorder he is doing this because it will annoy you or he doesn't see the issue with you having to go out to actually complete what is a very simple task. Why are you making it a gender based issue? Does he struggle to perform self care routines also? I suspect not.

DH went yesterday with a list as I needed specific ingredients along with general top up.
He remembered about bananas himself. One ingredient was not available so he called me to ask what to buy as a replacement.
So no, it’s a slip in your household.

By the way I’m with your DH about toothbrushes in contrasting colours. Mine is blue and DH’s is green.

Sorry-this infantilising of men is just so infuriating. I’m to angry to comment in a reasonable manner.

That is a type of "thinking" but it's not specific to being male.

Nope. That’s a brain of someone entitled or coddled who has never had to routinely think of other people or a household.

No. Just yours. Mine does all the shopping because he does all the cooking.
Maybe next time give him a list.

I think everyone has a different brain. My father plans all the meals in advance and then works out a weekly shop. He takes a list and heads off on Saturday at exactly the same time every week. He visits the supermarket and one other shop.

I am incapable of shopping like him and I'm far more erratic.

I am assuming when he realised he hadn't got the items required he went back out to the shops and bought them.

And no it isn't a male shopping brain it feels like weaponised incompetence so you don't ask him to shop again.

Did he take a list and forget to refer to it? I'd have blown my stack if DH went to the shops and didn't get the basics. Fortunately he manages to shop competently even without a list (I need it more tbh because I can't keep that many items in mind and something always drops off the mental list). What's his defence?

Did he have the list before he went? If so I think you should send him back out again