Aibu for thinking this is a little weird?

I'm 100% with u op I would never have stayed and my kids have been to many playdates. The last one I stayed at was when the two girls were 3! And we didn't stay 5 hours, just 2, and I was also chatty with the mum anyway. At aged 8 they could potentially have sleepovers (cue all the people screaming at me that its irresponsible because the parents might be nonces)

Honestly , some people aren't worth your time and effort, the the OPs post speaks volumes on who she is.

She should have been clearer on her expectations of the play date.

8 years old and your daughter had never had a playdate before? That is highly unusual.

It's not even national culture differences, but in the last town I lived in all parents stayed, even for tea and playdates after school! Where I live now we will usually get to know the parents, maybe do one play dates all together, then if it all seems OK drop offs from then on.

5 hours? I don’t want to speak to anyone for 5 hours 😭

I took my daughter to the play date even though English is not my first language.
Even though we had to travel for an hour and a half on public transport.
Even though I had no childcare for my younger child because my husband had to work and we have no family here to help.
I went even though I was exhausted, having been up several times during the night with the baby, and even though there were chores waiting at home.
I went even though I was aware that my accent, the way I speak, or the words I sometimes struggle to find might make me seem awkward, or different, or easy to judge.
I went because I love my daughter more than anything. Because I want her to have what I don't have here—friends, connection, a sense of belonging.
I know it’s hard to understand experiences you haven’t lived yourself. But I hope you can see that everything I did that day was done out of love.
Please try to be kind

I wouldn't expect someone I barely knew, who hadn't been to my house before to leave their child. I've found the parents who have to be a little odd and in some cases neglectful.

If you'd been having playdates with the child since reception then that would be different, but as this is the first time and you don't know the other family well it's not unreasonable for the mum to have expected to stay.

Why do people bother to write such lengthy posts without adding the most important details?
How old are the kids?

So did you say to her ‘thanks Mary for dropping Ella off. Can you come back and collect her at X hour’? And if you felt maybe she was uncomfortable as she doesn’t know you, after an hour or so I’d have stood up and said ‘well they seem to be having a great time! Ok if you come back at X to collect’?
She may be from a different country but she’s here now and should adjust to how it’s done, rather than you adjusting for her.

Drop offs for me (8 year old boy going on 9). However as they are Y4 I know all the parents in some form.

Most I would happily do drop offs. A couple I simply wouldn’t allow him to go too as I dislike the parent/s so am not comfortable.

Some I have invited in for a cuppa so they feel comfortable and then say “if you fancy going and getting some stuff done, want to come back at fetch X at 2pm? More than welcome to stay too.”

Im sure ive read this before.

No - that’s exactly what happens when I have kids over. They occupy each other!!!

If you dont know the mum there is a reasonable chance they might want to stay. Or she may have been concerned that you expected her to stay and may look rude to leave.

In future find a way to word it so it is clear and parent can decide. "Drop off at 2pm and collect at 5pm" might work.

in reception play dates generally involved parents staying (and yes the stilted conversation was painful). By y1 most parents were happy to drop and go, in fact my daughter is generally a bit grumpy if I try to stay and catch up with her friends mum (who is actually my friend!) the 2 I can think of who were a little more hesitant about leaving their children were indeed polish and Spanish, so perhaps it’s a cultural difference.

5 hours is a long play date (especially for a first play date!) with or without parents there though - I often find falling out tends to start around the 2.5/3 hour mark.

I wouldn't let my 9 year old go alone to a house I had never been to before, with a parent I hardly knew. She was not being weird at all.

I don't think that's weird that she stayed and brought her younger dd tbh. I wouldn't expect that, but equally wouldn't be horrified if it happened. The staying 5 hours part is a bit too much though. If you do it again, I'd specify a start and finish time.

What I don't understand is why your eight year old child could not have helped with the unpacking and washing. Why does she need to be distracted before you can get chores done? Unpacking and laundry is not a lengthy or difficult task, and my boys were younger than eight when they started helping. By the time they were 11 they were doing their own laundry.

I think would've dropped off, but is the first time your daughters friends been around?
As you've already admitted you don't know the mum very well. I think the mum was just being careful at a strangers house, fair enough tbh.

I don't think it's weird, I think you both just had different expectations.

Am I the only person who thinks a child never having had a friend round before they are 8 is more weird?

5 hours??? TF?? Where do i get free childcare playdates like this?

Why didn't you use your words? When the mum was about to walk in "Oh you can pick up 6pm/I'll drop her home at 6pm. You don't need to stay"

At 8 I wouldn't necessarily expect the parent to stay but I would've given them a dropping off and picking up time.

The latter would mean they knew they weren't being invited to stay.

No, it’s quite normal. Why would you automatically jump to ‘weird’ when it’s actually an opportunity to make a new friend. That’s weird.

Not at all 'weird' but a misunderstanding - largely driven by you for not making the arrangement clear ("drop off at 2 pm, I'll give them their tea and then come back to pick up at 6 pm").