Yet another in laws one

You left a 2 year old and a 5 year old run around unsupervised on a different floor to you in a house that you know isn’t child-proofed and contains lots of expensive breakable things??

Why cant inlaws make their house kid friendly for a couple of days

Under these circumstances why are you trying to limit iPad use? For the short time you are there, surely keeping the kids entertained in a quiet fashion is your best option?

Children (2 and 5) were running around upstairs.

Your PILs were annoyed at your children running around unsupervised. They thought as nobody was parenting them, they needed to step in with their 1970s/80s version of discipline which is shouting.

if it has been one of MIL/FIL then they may be the ones over-reacting, but the fact that both snapped suggests you/your children were out of order.

Why would their house be kid friendly? They don’t have small kids. Tbh mine was never kid friendly either. It’s was your responsibility job to provide toys and entertainment etc, if you haven’t, then iPad use is fine.

They shouldn’t have shouted but if your DC have been running about, knocking things over and unsupervised for a few days, then theyve snapped.

“We’re trying to limit iPad use” might be very virtuous of you in normal circumstances but you’re in a house that isn’t child friendly and have given the kids no alternative to running around wild. That’s on you. I wouldn’t like that either if I was your in laws. The shouting was wrong but you need to pre empt the issue and work out what your children should be doing that isn’t causing such disruption to your hosts.

Dont stay there again.

Why weren’t you parenting your 2 year old and 5 year old children as opposed to
letting them run wild, unsupervised, on a different house floor to you in a house which “isn’t kid friendly”?! You’re lucky real damage wasn’t done to them, let alone any material possessions!

They 100% shouldn’t have shouted however it may have been in frustration at you not watching them properly ad equally in someone else’s house you should have eyes on kids their age at all times, more supervision is definitely needed by you or your partner especially as you have said it’s not a kids friendly house and lots of expensive breakables or you need to give in on your electronics rule when you need a break.

I wouldn't appreciate the shouting at all, but it's completely inappropriate to leave a 5 and 2 year old playing upstairs without any adult supervision. Is this something that's quite normal for you? It sounds like havoc.

I would never shout at my grandchildren it’s not my place. If they doing something that I think is unacceptable in my house which they have done in the past. I would ask my daughter to speak to them about it. I have asked them not to do something in my house when I thought they might hurt themselves and then explained to my daughter why I did so. If I was you I wouldn’t visit their home and perhaps get them to visit you instead explaining that their home is not suitable for young children. They might be happy with this solution.

I would say nothing. As hard as that is , because they are out of line. But believe me it will pay off long term if you don’t escalate this in the moment. Go home as soon as you can and later say that it’s too tricky to stay with them for a few days,

I wouldn’t stay with them again. It’s just too hard anyway when kids are small. Just sit on it for a bit, don’t react, let DH handle it. You can think it through and put in your boundaries later. You can think through DH taking them alone and whether you are comfortable with that.

It sounds as though you've maybe stayed a little too long and the in laws and kids had had enough? I would suggest shorter visits. I would also probably be packing up and "driving whilst the roads are quiet" to escape tonight. I would probably talk to them after the visit. I always found it easier to have people to us when kids were little as they had their things, garden and toys etc

I wouldn't be okay with people yelling at my children, but I wouldn't have allowed them to run around in someone else's house either. Was someone supervising them?

Their reaction was OTT. You should try speaking to them calmly about how you didn't appreciate the way they yelled at the kids and how you would prefer that they correct the children when they do something wrong. You're not saying the kids should be allowed to get away with everything but you would rather not yelling and rather addressing the issues calmly not screaming at them.

Depending on how the conversation goes then you can escalate to telling them they would not be all pee bear your children again if they are not willing to discuss calmly or sensibly. I expect they would be defensive if that is how they raised DH so be prepared to put boundaries firmly in place and stick to it if they refuse.

It really should be your DH handling the conversation but unfortunately he seems incapable due to past history etc so yes you should take the initiative and speak up.