Who is unreasonable, me or DH?

I’d build up a little bit of time away, it would do you good to get out for a bit.

I couldn't have been away for five hours at that age as mine were still very nursing dependent at that stage. Yours is bottle fed though, so five hours isn't a lot. I don't think it's wrong to feel like you don't want to leave your baby but maybe it will be good for DH to have some time with his daughter? Maybe when you leave you'll discover you actually have a good time? I think you should do it, unless there's missing information as to why you shouldn't.

Your DH deserves time alone to bond with the baby. YANBU to feel so attached but YABVU to refuse to be away from the baby at all. DF needs time with baby without you snatching her back.

Go out. Try and enjoy yourself. Even if you are sad and do miss your baby, it’s actually fine to feel that way. But it isn’t just about your feelings, here. Back off a little.

Erm much as we love our kids you have to remember you have a DH and he needs attention also to keep a strong relationship and tbh your not doing baby any favours constantly being with her or carrying about, you will end up with a very needy, whingy kid in a few months everytime you leave a room...Gotta get a better balance and you end up with great kids and a good relationship years later

Yes you are being unreasonable

your child has two parents, she will be fine with her dad.

carry on as you are with holding her all the time and you will only make things much worse as she gets older, she needs to learn some independence even at 7 months

It's been 7 months.
At what point will you be happy to be apart from her for a few hours?

I wouldn't frame your behaviour as being
" normal or not normal" but it's definitely not typical. At this point I believe most mums would love a couple of hours off. Everyone misses their small babies when not with them, but not to the point of avoiding any activity that does not involve baby.

The obvious red flag here is that you have another DC and did not live the experience with the same level of hyper attachment.

Whatever you decide to do, and I don't think you should feel forced to go, it is worth exploring why you feel this level of need to be constantly with this DC and maybe start working towards a more healthy balance.

I had to go back to work when dd was 5 months old, so popping out for an evening leaving her with her dad would not be an issue. I think my friend and I went to see Duran Duran in London one evening when she was around that age. I missed her, but she was fine with her dad and I really enjoyed the night out. I am not one to tell others what to do, but only on MN have I seen people who never left their children with a babysitter or had any kind of social life for absolute years in some cases.

I was very much the same, I also had the excuse of breastfeeding so 5 hours would have been impossible for them. By the time I got to babies 3&4, there were times I had to do things with my older children that meant I had to leave the little ones for a couple of hours. Since baby is formula fed she will be absolutely fine with her Dad, but she's still so little and I don't think you should have to leave her if you don't want to.

Most (perhaps not all) of the friends I’ve made since having DS had definitely been away from their baby for more than an hour by 6 months. Trying to think back, DS was 6 months last Christmas and I’d been to my work summer party when he was about 2 months, went to my Christmas party, and a fair few trips to the cinema / meals out / hair appointments / popped out shopping for a few hours in between. No qualms at all about leaving him with DH, and on a couple of occasions SIL or my best friend.

People will say "do what you want"
And Your baybe your rulzzzz

But honestly it's unhealthy.
I find women who behave like this a bit alarming to be frank and I have a 1 and 3 yr old who I love the bones of.
Second was in NICU for a month and honestly i was scared he would die for a while.

Life is about balance. This isnt balance.

I have 2 friends/acquaintances with 3 yr old who are divorcing and both sound like you with unhealthy attachments to their children.
They were "close" to them at the expense of everything including their marriage.
One was in the same room as her child for the entire year of mat leave. As in she didn't leave the baby in the living room with her husband to go make a tea (she would say it was "unconscious" or "oh do i do that i never noticed!" It was f-ing weird

Both were warned repeatedly by friends (who they bailed on allllllll the time because
.... random excuse involving their baby/ child needing them)

A date night is good for your marriage.

In what way is this different to previous DC? I think this is really important information to be able to say whether it is unreasonable. Was she high risk for illness, did you have a difficult birth etc.? This sounds very much like postnatal anxiety to me, which of course isn't unreasonable in and of itself, but it does need supporting.

Maybe your husband wants some quality 121 time with his child?

I was starting to leave dd at that age for a few hours though normally after bedtime when she was asleep. I would have not wanted to travel a distance from her though.

I would try to build up to it to get used to it - sounds like it’s just habit and maybe you’d really enjoy it - give yourself a chance.

Yabu and you’re being horrible to your other child / children

Yes most mums would have had multiple periods away from their baby, even if short trips out/date nights, especially if not EBF. Don't your other children miss having your undivided attention, too?
I had a friend who did this with their daughter and daughter now "has" to be home schooled while mum is a SAHM (not the plan) because daughter has terrible separation anxiety (as does mum tbh)

I genuinely don’t feel anxious about dh looking after her, he’s more than capable

Then you need to let him. Because at the moment, he's not getting any decent amount of time with his own daughter, and that's not fair.

You are not being unreasonable. Don’t go.

I think your husband is encouraging you to go because your behaviour doesn't sound healthy

YABU.

you're stunting your husband from forming a bond with your joint child.

I also suspect the huge favouritism you seem to have towards this baby could be picked up on by your existing child/children.

When does your husband get time with the bairn OP and do the other kids get time with you without the baby there?

I know it's weird letting them become little people in their own right. They've been a part of you for so long. But at some point you need to make slack in the reins.

I was like this with my DS, do you feel anxious leaving her or letting your DH care for her?

will you be going back to work?

YABU OP.
Afew hours away??????
Absolutely nothing wrong with that.
I can see why your husband is upset.

I don't think you are unreasonable not to want to go to the show. It is weird that it is meant to be a treat but you are being forced to do it! However, it is interesting what one poster said, that it is ok to miss her. Why don't you go? Yes you will miss her. But you will survive and hopefully have some fun for some of the time.

However, I do think it is a bit worrying that you find it hard to put her down during the day. That seems somewhat obsessive. Surely it also means that your older child never gets you to themselves. And your husband too!

I would start trying to build up time apart from her. For a reason not if there's no need but to take the other child out for an hour for instance.