Friend being unreasonable .?

Absolutely put your foot down op. He leaves tomorrow morning, no excuses.

He is totally taking the piss out of your family

Me too it took my friend a whole to sort everything out she stayed in my living room with her daughter for 3 months.

I did, when a friend of mine left her husband. She and her two small children lived in my living room for a month until she got herself sorted.

Tell him you agreed when he asked to stay for 1 night.
Tell him you'd never have agreed if you knew he'd still be there.
Tell him tonight is absolutely and completely the last night.
Tell him to leave first thing in the morning.
Tell him after the debacle of the last few days, he will never be offered a bed for the night again.
You tell him, not DP.

He's not going anywhere tomorrow

he will get to monday then "cant go"

he needs to leave asap - if hes married hes entitled to go back home in his house technically!!!
get him gone else you will find him at yours for 2 months

This.
set boundaries.
other friends have said no,red flag.
he’s done this before, another huge flag.
He’s not your problem, he goes tomorrow morning. End of.

His refusal to get up and fit in with your family may be indicative of why his wife has kicked him out.

Take my advice on this...

Stop relying on your dh you deal with this.

The ship has sailed for tonight....

Go in now yourself now and tell him directly you are a nice person so he can stay tonight ... but ONLY tonight.

And its conditional on him agreeing to be awake and have his things tidied by 8am latest so the living room is usable. He has been and late and hogging the room and its not on.

You'll give him breakfast because you are a decent person but he is to be gone by 10am

Can’t he stay in a cheap hotel? I would be asking him what his plans are & if he can book a hotel you can get them as cheap as £40 a night!

He needs to sleep in a hotel or go to family or another friend with more space, less kids.
Tell him tonight he needs to go.

If DP is too weedy to stand up to him then you just have to kick him out and be 'the bad guy'? Actually you've been more than accommodating.

He has other friends but they all said no

You might want to think about why that is, OP, and if they've all learned from his extended stay at the previous place

Personally I'd ask exactly what it is he's planning for Monday, and unless there's a really good answer he'd be out tomorrow - for example by checking what cheap local places have vacancies then driving him to one and leaving him there

Brilliant final suggestion.

I fucking tip him off that sofa👿

Tell him he has to leave after breakfast tomorrow morning and show him the door immediately after you all finish eating. You told him one night which was very kind of you and he’s now outstayed his welcome. If he says he needs longer to sort something out, it may well be up to you to have to say no, I need you to leave right now. Don’t let him or DP manipulate you into agreeing to just one more night etc. I’m not surprised his wife wants to be rid of him, as he sounds like a waste of space.

I think the compromise here would be that you say fine, stay until Monday, but you have to stop taking up space. So we're all up at 6am, youll need to get up and off the couch and moving before then. You say you want to help? great, thanks, that means getting off the couch, tidying up etc and popping down to the shops for us.

Of course, he won't do that. it sounds like he's happy to just lurk.

Good luck getting him out on monday.

This is his DW’s problem - not yours. Legally she can’t just kick him out of his home. She’d need a court order for that. While she “wants space” you’ve lost your space!
A lot of people live together while separating, often not ideal, but equally it’s not for you to facilitate her space at the expense of yours. You’ve said you don’t think there’s been DV so she’ll just have to put up with him until they’ve formalised everything.
He’s got rights and he needs to exercise them and go back as she’s out of options. If she won’t let him in 101 may well help but otherwise he can use a locksmith to gain entry if he can prove he’s an owner/tenant.

Who owns the house they live in?

What did he say when your husband told him he had to go tomorrow?

Absolutely this. I would make it VERY uncomfortable for him.
Lights on and off the sofa by whatever time the kids are up. Even if that’s 6am.
Id also refuse to cook for him and ask him to sit in another room at meal times to allow you family time.
I would carry on normal family life as if he wasn’t there, probably with a bit of encouragement to the kids to scream and shriek as much as possible

Perhaps consider he can stay until Monday at the latest?
Having to tiptoe around someone in your own home is not acceptable and you have your family to look after.
I helped out someone in the past and he wasn't in a hurry to leave.
Ended up with a full scale argument when tensions exploded.

What is he doing during the day and evening, is he just there or is he doing anything?

Would I fuck have my kids tiptoeing around a sleeping lump of a man on their sofa. Yuck. Your husband needs to grow a backbone and tell him it’s time to leave.

You’ve helped out your friends but your children and their comfort in their home are far more important

Surely he would be more comfortable in a hotel?

Nope. No way.
Bag packed for him and off he goes.

He's a grown man, he should not be making three young children change their habits in their own home.