Friend being unreasonable .?

He was supposed to stay one night. Not move in.

Take him at his word. Don’t keep the kids quiet tomorrow morning. At 8am I would be actively waking him with a cheery smile “hey Bob, lots on today so going to need you to pack up now”.

Sure let him use the bathroom and get a bit of toast but I would be pushing him out the door at 9am.

why? Well otherwise I bet you a quid that the day will drag on, he will be there sitting on his arse eating your food taking up your lounge claiming he is looking for a room and in the evening he will announce he hasn’t been able to find anywhere to stay and it will be tough for to throw him out into a cold night. Any complaints about oh I need to find a room before I go I would say “well I know they have got good WiFi in the library/Costa/Wetherspoons”. Bit bright smiles but firm resolve.

“could I not just stay tonight”
”that doesn’t work for us. Please don’t try to overstay your welcome, I don’t want this to damage our relationship”

Oh and worse case scenario is there a “Severe Weather Extreme Protocol” in place with your council? Mine has one on as very cold here and should enable anyone who would be sleeping rough to have an overnight accommodation.

The absolute cheek of him

I’m just here for the update tomorrow morning. Hoping the recorder playing does the trick.

He clearly lied to get in the door.
I would be very pissed off at that, and my husband for not telling me about his previously imposing on someone for 2 months.

DH needs to tell him his time is up. He needs to pay for a hotel/ Airbnb or stay with relatives. This is not your problem.

Couldn't agree more

I can't believe that you actually wrote 'Let's hope he does' OP. It's not up to him, it's your house, and he's outstayed his welcome. How many times have we all read on here that a woman wants to kick her cheating husband out, but people tell her she can't as it's illegal? Just point this out to him, and tell him to go home and sort it out with his wife. If she won't let him in, then he needs to call the police. Obviously no one wants to do this, but in his case if he hasn't got anywhere else, and can't afford to rent a hotel or somewhere, then he has no choice. If he's still asleep when you get up in the morning, take him in a cuppa, wake him up, and say right Dave, you've got until 10.00am, do you need any help getting your stuff out to your car? Make it absolutely clear, that he HAS NO CHOICE!!

Whether he leaves is up to you. Not him.
He has no negotiation rights.
Don't buckle if he chances it.

Could it be that he's feeling bruised/vulnerable and doesn't want to be alone in a hotel? Might be this causing him to outstay his welcome rather than being tight about paying.

Why doesn't your DH take him out for a quiet pint and ask what his plan for moving on is? Is it hotel, family or back home because unfortunately you don't have the space. Help him find a hotel for Sunday - not because the guy needs the practical help, but so he feels supported.

All these posters telling you to be harsh but you can be kind to a friend who is struggling whilst still enforcing boundaries.

tell him she cant legally lock him out if she refuses he shoujld call the police

He is sleeping on our sofa and doesn’t get up on the morning so we are walking around him.

I would be in there as soon as the kids wake up, curtains open, telly on and kids in asking to sit on the sofa.

Definitely wouldn't be tip toeing around him
My kids would be encouraged to get out the karoke machine and have fun.
Though mine are up from 6am and loud so no one would really want to stay past one night

If you are too rural for hotels, check out farms who have cottages for farm stays. This time of year, a lot of have empty spaces and you can get some good deals- my sister stayed in one for a month when over visiting from abroad and it was lovely.

Recorders! 😂I love that! 👏

This is sound advice. This isn't your problem. Your dh needs to be firmer with him

Then he can travel. He's a grown-ass man with a wife, kids and a job - surely he's capable of booking a cheap hotel / airBB, even if it means that he has a longer commute than normal. Why are you all infantilising him?

If he’s named in the tenancy/mortgage his wife can’t just kick him out and change the locks.
I would give him until Monday to arrange somewhere else, if he has rights to stay within his own property I’d be telling him to go home tomorrow.

You wold do that to your friend?

I just don't understand why people put themselves in these situations. Let it be a lesson for you and your husband in the future.
You have children, it is not suitable for them having some strange bloke dossing on your sofa. Your husband's responsibility is to you and your children, not random friends.
While you enable his lazy arse to doss at yours he is not dealing with his situation. Shove his bits in a bin liner now ready for leaving tomorrow. It's your home not a bloody YMCA.

The absolute brass neck of this fucker! By Monday, I guarantee something else would have come up and he'll be asking for 'just a few more days'

I'd love to know his wife's version of events. Finding herself, aye? She probably found stuff on his phone and it was the last straw.

I'd be hoovering the living room at 6am, followed by noisy kids TV, followed by noisy kids.

"He is sleeping on our sofa and doesn’t get up on the morning so we are walking around him."
Unacceptable. You're doing him a favour, he's behaving entitled.

I agree with everyone else who has said to take this out of your husband's hands. His friend is using their friendship to manipulate your husband into agreeing to 'just one more night' - and another, and another. As techniques go, it's effective (as you have observed).

So - stand your husband down and take over the reins.

Have the conversation - and when I say 'conversation' I mean you tell him what's going to happen - where you tell him you agreed to one night and on night only, and that him staying tonight means he is definitely leaving in the morning and not coming back ever. Give him a time - I'd probably go for 10am, certainly a morning departure. Make it clear this is not a negotiation, this is what is going to happen. And then stand over him from 9am onwards tomorrow, ensuring he packs up all his shit and leaves by 10am.

He's able to manipulate your husband through friendship, he can't manipulate you. So take over, and get him out.

He can stay in a hotel, B&B, a holiday let, get a room in a shared house, there are many options open to him, he does not need to stay at yours any longer. I hope you haven’t given him a key so he can get back in once he leaves for work on Monday……..

Have you got kids - can you say that you need him gone so they can prepare for school?