Friend being unreasonable .?

Oh, come on! He's playing you the same way he played your husband - and you know it! Let him away with this and he'll still be on your sofa in February.

'That's enough now Dave, you're stalling. I need you gone in the next half hour. You have had days to sort out where you're going and you still haven't , because your plan all along was to stay here. Enough. Pack your stuff, get into your car, and drive. I don't care where to.'

So what if he works close by and so wants to live close by? He'll just have to get up earlier to get that further distance to work, that's all. Not. Your. Problem.

For God’s sake, the usual Mumsnet histrionics.
To want him gone is fine, but normal people don’t treat their friends this ⬆️ way.

The current atmosphere is not fair on your kids...

This is nonsense. If he was abusive he most likely wouldn’t have willingly left in the first place. If he is, then there are channels to follow but unlawfully ousting someone from their home isn’t the answer as they can re-enter.
It’s more likely she just wants out of the marriage and doesn’t want the inconvenience of sharing a home with him during the separation.

His wife should not change the locks. She has done so which indicates she doesn’t want him back.
I’m sorry you’ve had a bad experience but you’re assuming he’s in some way abusive and backing the DW’s unlawful actions without any info. Lots of people share a home while separated. The OP clearly isn’t in a position to house him for what will likely take a minimum of several months.

he said the atmosphere wouldn’t be fair on the kids

Yet the atmosphere he's creating for you and your kids is just peachy?!

What an arse.

It'll start getting dark in 2 hours, OP. Then he won't leave because it's cold/dark. Then he won't leave tomorrow because it's a Sunday and nowhere is open, then he'll be back at work and 'will be out of the house in the daytime and only need the sofa at night time'.

Someone needs to start getting cross with him. He will have to go home or put his hand in his pockets and pay for accommodation seeing as he has clearly burnt his bridges with everyone he knows.

She wants him gone so he needs to stay away.

Rubbish. Unless it's her house which she owns in her name and he doesn't pay a penny for.

If it's a joint house, one person can't unilaterally decide the other one has to leave so they can find themselves.

mu husband travels 30 miles to work its not an excuse to not find somewhere to go

You need to insist he goes now. Tell him he has an option to go home and if it's not fair on his kids, that's sad - but it absolutely isn't fair on your kids either and his kids are not your problem, but yours are!! I can't believe you have still got him on the house!! He's a user.

I'd speak to him directly, as your partner seems to be a complete wet lettuce in dealing with him.

Dave you need to pack up and go. I'm not asking you - I am telling you. I hope you and Jane manage to get things sorted out, but you cannot stay on my sofa indefinitely whilst you do. You being here is impacting my family and my children. I want you out of here within the next hour; if you need to sort accommodation out for tonight, you can do that sitting in a pub or coffee shop.

Look, I could be wrong and I'm happy to accept it if I am but this is bullshit. The atmosphere wouldn't be fair on his kids? But it's fine to turn up at your house where your kids are then refuse to leave? What??

Also, his wife wants to be alone because she wants to find herself? Again, you what? Very few people would kick their spouse and parent to their children out during the festive period to find themselves. Something else has gone down. He did something.

So yeah, bullshit bullshit bullshit. Fuck off back to your house and sort your crap out there.

This👍
While teaching your children to be doormats. If you want your children to grow up as strong, positive people you need to model it to them, promote healthy boundaries.

He's going to be there for months if you're not careful.

This is going to drag on and on, isn't it?

His wife doesn't want him in the house. No other friends want him in their homes. YOU don't want him in yours. Could it be that this CF has burnt all his bridges over the years, and you're just being a soft touch?

If you don't get him out today, I can guarantee he "won't be able to find anywhere" (having made little to no effort to secure accommodation of any kind) and he'll be on your sofa for another night.

Hotel. Air BnB.

Don't tiproe around, don't feed him, he gets nothing.

He's your fish that has gone bad after overstaying.

Your home is not his. He's out. Pack any of his shit and put it out front.

Him camping out on your sofa after lying about being one nights stay isn't fair on you or your kids. Who is this fucking fucker?! Stop relying on your DH to get him out and start packing his shite up and putting it on the front step, he can find a place from his car.

I’d be saying whatever the fuck it took to get him out of my house. The rest of it is between them.

I was originally responding to the OP's post at 12.21 in which she said 'I did say to go back home as she can't kick you out'. Why not say go to other family, another friends place, a hotel, Airbnb etc?
I agree it's not OP's problem, but actively encouraging him to go back is just wrong. It doesn't take much imagination to see that he is a big problem to his wife and kids, as well as others now.

OMG - the atmosphere isn’t fair on your kids! Such a cheeky fucker. Get him out today!

His wife can’t lock him out of his own house. He needs to go.

The fact is you cannot just kick someone out of the family home. The protections are there for a reason. Separate by all means but you need to be realistic about it.

It’s not the OP’s problem. None of this is.

Of course his wife can do that, whether or not it's legal is a different matter. She wants him gone so he needs to stay away. No one should be encouraging him to go back. At best it will exacerbate the situation, at worst it may put his family in danger.
OP needs him out of her house, and rightly so, but that should not be at the expense of his families safety and wellbeing.

Just to say I know I'm projecting here a little as this happened to me. It takes a lot to get out of a difficult relationship so when others effectively deliver them back to your door again it is horrendous.

This is ridiculous,
Your DH needs to grow a set and tell him straight, can't believe you've both allowed this to continue!

Doesn't want to inconvenience his kids in his house, so you let him inconvenience your kids in your house.

Exactly, it’s him and his wife’s problem to fix. They can be adults and play nice while the children are around.

I’ve had some dark times in my past relationship but I never had the audacity to think taking up a friend’s living room was an option.