To be jealous of teacher friend?

Nobody is stopping you from moving schools. I did 15 years in the UK state sector and then we moved abroad. I've been teaching at an independent school for the past few years and I really like my job.
My classes aren't much smaller (we are capped at 24, same as state schools here). I have a longer school day, but I've got protected PPA every day. I'm working part time on 0.8 and earn more than I did full time on UPS1+TLR back in the UK. Parents are demanding as well, but that can be referred back to SLT to sort out (and they do...if a parent is unhappy, they are always welcome to move their kid to a different school) and they don't tend to be abusive or violent. We've got security at the door to avoid anyone coming in, who shouldn't. Meetings tend to be within school hours and my timetable has been adjusted to take my needs into account. I'm really grateful for that. We've got strong union support in school, which helps. We have a private pension scheme and some other benefits as well. We also get a 70% reduction on school fees for our own children and can use before and after school care for free.

I'm currently considering moving back to the state sector, but not in the UK. My kids are in state education here.

If you're feeling sick about Monday you've probably got to the stage where you feel overwhelmed, try to avoid thinking about work, and it's difficult to think through whether there are less drastic changes you could make to improve things. How about a couple of appointments with a private careers advisor / careers coach?

I wonder if you could move into 6th form or FE, or go PT & supplement your income with tutoring or do additional training for a specific leadership role or to brush up on newer behaviour management strategies or find a school with a more robust behaviour management system or ....? The state system is underfunded and no walk in the park but roles and schools do vary. Life is short and you'll regret it if you don't make changes (so long as you stay in the TPS!)

The teachers may not always been qualified in the same way, but plenty are after leaving the state sector. Yet somehow the academic private schools still consistently get better results than most state schools.

Moving schools in the state system is frying part to fire. I teach English and the workload is insane. More than that's it's the scrutiny - in no other job I have worked in have I been so micro managed. There is no autonomy in teaching anymore.

The thing that makes me laugh most are the endless INSET days where we are taught (again) about adaptive teaching (aka differentiation) etc yet have no support to deliver.

In one of my classes I have 33 pupils - this is a set 3, there are 4 kids with EHCPs in there and another 8/9 with SEND. No TA support. School needs more teachers and more TAs but the budget doesn't allow it.

I get it OP as a friend works in private and he biggest issue is the accountability to parents about grades. Behaviour seems so much better.

I’ve worked at two private schools and a decent state school. One of the private schools and the state school were both really enjoyable to work at.
the other private school - awful. Worst behaviour I’ve ever had to deal with, weak head and really rude parents. It really depends on leadership, if the school is managing financially, pupil numbers etc.
so do look for another job. But don’t assume private equals enjoyable. Just investigate lots of schools if you can, suss out the atmosphere. Nothing wrong with sending a speculative letter.

why don't you apply for one yourself rather than being jealous. its not like its an impossible reach for you?

Word of caution: not all private schools are like this. Some are stretched to the bone with teachers doing more for less and with hugely demanding parents who want your blood when their average child doesn’t get a place at Oxbridge.

I think the selective nature is probably the most helpful element re. behaviour. If you’ve earned your place there, you want to be there, you want to stay there. I also see this in selective state schools and our local UTC (non selective but competitive entry and starts at Y10).

Private schools are gradually becoming less cushy to work in. Even a lot of the 'big players' are gradually withdrawing from the TPS/requiring staff to pay top-up contributions to cover extra burden on the employer's side. I wouldn't assume that any school that currently doesn't do this will stay that way. Equally the number of schools with 4 weeks at Christmas is shrinking, especially if they aren't full boarding. It's an increasingly competitive market and parents want to feel that they're getting maximum value for money. As well as longer days, there is no directed time so you can't just say no to doing random extra curriculars etc. Marking load and reports load are often heavier. All that said, it sounds like your friend works at an excellent school!

If applying to a private school I would bear in mind that they can offer very different experiences to staff. Eg I know one small local private school which seems to have been in financial peril for many years, staff are frequently used for cover, there is basically no behaviour policy which makes managing low-level disruption difficult, no TAs so trickier to manage SEN needs in class, expectation that you can teach across multiple subjects to manage gaps, etc.

I don't think that's true and it's quite a rude thing to say. DHs close friend was a lecturer at an Ivy league in the US for a number of years, but couldn't teach state secondary here because he doesn't have a pgce and didn't want to go back to university himself and start at the bottom of pay scale with his experience. He works in the private sector as a department head and is immensely qualified. Emotional responses such as this are really unhelpful. If you don't like where you work look for other employment. It's very simple.

FWIW I work in the criminal justice sector and it's not fun and games here either.

My aunt used to be a department head in state secondary and over time aligned her skills and qualifications with working with children with additional needs. She now works in a residential school for children with significant SEN and loves it, because it is not an exam production line she feels she is doing what's best for each child.

Sounds like you need to leave your school, OP, and find a better one.

It doesn’t need to be private. There must be many secondary schools around that manage teacher workload and pupil behaviour better than yours does.

My daughter works in one.

I taught in several private schools. The reality is that they are business. The customers (parents) are extremely demanding, and rightly so. Behaviour is better, class size smaller. However you will be expected to go above and beyond. Run extra curricular activities, work through the holidays. Stress is off the scale. Results are everything. Pay isn’t massively enhanced.

Jealous? 🤣🤣🤣

I don’t think it’s private vs state - I’ve heard horror stories from teachers at private schools. Equally there are loads of state schools with excellent behaviour. I’m currently at my 3rd school in 15 years and am really happy where I am now.
Teaching isnt a job you take for an easy life - it’s a vocation, and it can be tough. But it just sounds like you need a new school tbh.

Have you perhaps come to the time in your career when you need to think about widening your teaching focus, moving sideways or specialising? I realised that you’re not going to be funded to get a PhD but might that be a way forward to open up other possibilities? Is possible to teach in the state sector but differently? Say, get a further specialised training so you’re teaching older students who want to focus on a particular set of subjects?

I do recommend looking at the different vacancies and academic side of this to see how you could change what you do, because that’s what people often do mid career. What you’ve been doing until now isn’t working any more, so perhaps reorienting yourself might help?

The grass isn't always greener. My friend works in a private school and although the kids behaviour isn't bad in terms of violence, the behaviour is terrible in the sense that kids and parents think they can do what they like as they are paying for their education. Kids have no respect and treat my friend and the other teachers like the hired help and the parents are very very vocal in demanding what they expect for their money. The kids have no desire to learn as they have family money to fall back on. My friend has also been bullied by senior staff who have higher expectations on them to achieve good results.

I have taught in independent for 7 years (in state now), and find it much easier. The behaviour is slightly worse, however, the demands of parents in independent schools are high with constant emails etc and you’re needed to come in at the weekends and stay late for events etc.

You’re not unreasonable to be jealous, sounds ideal. I think you should consider working there too.

I’ve worked in both teaching sectors and I can say that your friend’s experience was nothing like mine. I had to do sporting stuff on Saturdays and Sundays and yes the kids were great (and I miss teaching them every day) but the pressure was immense. Most independent schools round me are coming out of TPS for some or all staff and that’s a huge issue imo.

I think it entirely depends on the school (as is the case for the state sector). I know someone who is a housemaster down south and is chilled out and loves his job. It can’t be further from what it’s like teaching in a giant Middlesbrough secondary. Only you know what the best thing is for you.

Well, because prior to the current government education was by definition a charitable activity not subject to VAT. The independent sector has been around in education for centuries longer than the state sector, it is one of the last bastions of excellence in UK secondary education, is a huge export for the UK, and for many parents it's the only way of securing a good education for their children.

Then along come people like you: jealous of the independent sector, but still determined to punish it and its service users with breath-taking hypocrisy. I presume you're also happy for state school class sizes to increase even further as independent schools close down, and I presume you're still deluded that all the refugees from the independent sector will bring vast new swathes of money to state schools?

Those parents in many cases as day pupils were likely frustrated by the lack of SEN support, there children needing smaller than 34 in a class, distraction from other children swearing, good teachers leaving due to the pressure and education being the right of every child.

Your friend may be one of those teachers who doesn't volunteer for the extra expected in boarding schools, that put pressure on the other teachers who do volunteer and do extra or a very rare boarding school, where boarding is truly very seperate. From friends working in independent sector, they certainly have parent meetings with parents in an evening, expectations to respond to emails/calls, pressure when teaching SLT children, high expectations for pupils who aren't putting the work in and in boarding normally at least 1 boarding duty a week, covering prep and either CCF or DofE.

Go for the change, but your friend sounds very lucky with their deal.

Maybe some of us believe all children should be entitled to a good education regardless of parental income. I'm retired now but was never tempted to teach in private schools. I worked in areas of deprivation.

AIBU to be jealous, or should I be glad to educate those who don't have the benefit of wealth?

This often isn’t even true. For some parents, it’s a matter of priorities and they prioritise a private education over their own food and health. Others get into debt and some have the fees paid by others.

I know teachers who work in private schools, and I don’t think your friend’s experience is usual. They work Saturday, have to do 1/2 evenings a week of prep / boarding house responsibility, and have to deal with entitled parents who expect to get whatever they want because they are rich.

I teach at a university and occasionally give talks at boarding schools (state schools, too, before anyone asks). The pupils at the boarding schools seem lovely, very well behaved, confident and inquisitive, stretching themselves far beyond the curriculum - all of which is true of some state schools and their students, of course. But all the teachers I've spoken to have said about being asked to put in long hours (evening work regularly), run lots of extra-curriculars, and they've talked about perks being cut (e.g. accommodation that used to be entirely free, they now have to pay a contribution towards). They all love it, but one said it would be utterly incompatible with parenting if your partner also had a full time job. I don't think the grass is all greener.