To be jealous of teacher friend?

It's all relative. If you're burnt out and getting verbally abused then a private school position might be better whereas if you are still working in a decent state run school then the pressures of a private school might be too much for you.
Everyone gets to choose the best position and work pressures for them whether private or state run. It's a job just like any other job, you are entitled to look for another one and don't owe any verbally abusive and threatening parents anything.
Yes other children and families lose out on experienced teachers but it isn't worth your health and long term stress is seriously detrimental.

Definitely move. You need to be happy and healthy. You’re family need you happy and healthy.

This is one person's experience in one private school. It is very different to the experience of someone I know working in the same sector where their pay is significantly higher and they have no weekend or evening duties.

This old claptrap always makes me laugh and realise that the person saying it has no experience whatsoever of independent schools at all.

Agreed. I know several teachers in private schools. One can't wait to leave. Another has just undergone a brutal internal restructuring process. I won't say what happened to a third one last year - I'll just say that it was very distressing.

Private schools do generally get better exam results, simply because results reflect the demographics of the pupils

My brother didn't magically become a better teacher when he moved from state to private

I think so much is down to the leadership team in any school. Lots of the problems I see on teaching threads seem to stem from dissatisfaction with the SLT.
DS is a HOD in a large secondary school. He loves his job but has mentioned that if the current Head were to leave he might consider moving depending on the replacement because of the high standards of the current Head.

Dd is working at a private school.

Her pay is lower than state as she chose to be in TPS. If you choose not to be, pay is higher.
It is a part boarding school. Her day is longer, she works 3 Saturdays in 4... the many weeks extra holidays help that.
She does one evening boarding duty a week (6-10pm- usually does marking/lesson prep) for 3k extra a year.
She has free meals when on the premises, 2 decent breaks a day plus over 1hr at lunch. Free gym, swimming pool, free sports kit, suit allowance, private GP service and bicycle allowance. She can also take 2 personal days per term. Handy for appointments.

The classes are smaller, there are more children with SEND. Behaviour is generally good as if it falls substandard, the parents are called in, and ultimately the child will be asked to leave.

She's enjoying it for now, but says that the hours might get a bit of a drag when older, or if she wants a family.

YABU because it's your choice to stay in the profession and stay in the state sector. (I am a teacher fyi.) The job is not sustainable anymore. You'll get even more entitled parents / kids in private schools.

I am not a teacher, but work in a large Comprehensive. My job used to be really enjoyable, now parents often make it miserable . But I have started to answer back to parents now. If they want to come and work with me for a day, they might be more understanding. No wonder some of the pupils are so entitled.
I do have to say that we also have many wonderful parents and pupils

I worked in a private boarding school and would say that her experience isn't normal. Although I had small class and better resources, free meals etc, the hours were brutal. 60 hours a week in school, plus a bit of planning and marking at home. Saturday morning lessons, sat pm sports, one night a week boarding house duty until 22:30. Almost all other staff had free or very low cost on site accomodation apart from me which made me very resentful to SLT as I was effectively £15-20k a year worse off. I was paid slightly higher than in the state sector and part of the TPS. The long hols were great, but needed due to the crazy work hours. I left due to divorcing and not being able to afford to live in the south as a single parent on a teaching salary, but miss it even though it was bonkers and a school like no other. I now work in a school in Europe which has it's own pros and cons!

Nope, your sanity is more important than anything and not unreasonable. I've known 2 teachers in the last few years, one quit, twice. First time to run a deli, 2nd time to retrain in therapy. She's still a therapist. The second teacher 2 years ago started teaching at a private school. Man, she was so much more chilled and actually looked forward to school term starting again, instead of dreading it.

Kids better behaved, nearly all parents ok. What a difference.

No you are not being unreasonable, presumably you became a teacher to teach, not to become a babysitter? if she doesn't have to deal with that, and gets better pay and more perks, I too would be jealous, but, other than the also presumably competitive interview process, what's stopping you?

Re the comment about academic private schools consistently getting better results … to quote incorrectly ‘well they would, wouldn’t they’. Having students who have been selected on parental income, academic capability, few SEN needs and the ability to ask for difficult/failing students to be withdrawn makes a lot of difference. Much like the state grammar schools who get terrific results; how could they not?

Retired teacher here.
I worked in primary schools for 44 years in the state sector.
Loved my job, but in the final year I was really counting down to retirement.
30 lively children, some with special needs, a number with behavioural issues. Preparatory work. Marking books. Staff meetings, parents nights. Assesments. Ofsted inspections. Need I say more?
Is it any wonder that so many brilliant and talented teachers like yourself are questioning their future.
It's a really tough job and every week of holiday is honestly a godsend.

@Notheretoday "Too often I see excellent teachers crying in the staffroom because of malicious and unfounded accusations made by parents against kind, talented and hard-working people."

If SLT know about this and don't take robust action, they're at serious fault. They should be standing up for teachers, not letting them be abused. Better state schools do exist. Move.

Regarding workload: always a difficult one. Not hard to end up working 60 hours a week. Take a long, hard look at what you give your time to, then jettison whatever you can if it's not worth your time. This will ruffle feathers but that's their problem.

They aren't all like that! So do be sure to do your homework on any school you might apply for if you are thinking of doing the same.

What you've described sounds like an actual dream. To be fair, when I first moved into the independent sector 15 years ago, this was pretty much what it was like, but in my experience there are not many of these utopias around anymore.

All but the most elite of the elite private schools are struggling to survive these days. Recruitment and retention is everything, customer is always right, no matter whether what they want is reasonable or even feasible. Parents are paying a huge amount and expect a lot for their money, but we've been stuck on a pay freeze whilst inflation runs amok. Schools are trimming all sorts around the edges (lots of redundancies, including losing admin staff and leadership posts), so teachers are having to take on more and more. We also have to do boarders' duties and a significant extra curricular committment at my school. We're expected to be in the building until 17.15 every day.

That said, none of our kids would ever tell a teacher to fuck off!

I don't think you should teach in private school. You'll be one on those teachers who lectures the class on privilege whilst taking full advantage of the privilege yourself. It is a bit cringey.

Nearly 60% of private schools are special schools and many of the pupils are funded by the government. That might suit your principles more. Although they are probably privileged compared to most SEND children in the world.

I have worked in both state and private. They all vary so much. There is more competition for jobs in the private sector and some pay less than the state sector. The pension is often less good.

I put YABU because the only person who can change your life is you - good luck with whatever you do

It sounds like you have a school problem - not all state schools are like what you describe. You are seeing private schools through rose tinted glasses I'm afraid. A lot of the grass is greener going on.

As others have said move schools, but be careful what you wish for. I have ex-colleagues who work in the private sector who are regularly pulled into the headmasters office to explain why a particular student isn't getting A's or A* at A level... the pressure from parents is massive!

I’ve always heard that private schools are awful to work at.

If this one is so good then I would keep an eye out for an opening.

I doubt relocation is an option for you but the state schools in Scotland are a lot calmer and more reasonable than England.

No, not at all.

Just frustrated that a policy which was only ever designed to appease envy will leave the UK as a whole worse off. There are no winners from it, only losers, and that is no way to run a country.

Qualifications of teachers are an input factor and a small, insignificant one at that (see PP above about the Harvard academic who doesn't have a PGCE). What independent schools sell are the added value in outcomes. If someone 'unqualified' from industry can teach a child as well as or better than someone with a PGCE then I do not have a problem with that.