Brother-in-law and his wife with my 2 year old, really mad.

People who think it’s funny to laugh at children who are distressed because they are sick are assholes. I would NEVER leave her alone with them.

I'm pretty lapse over sweets and things like that. However If I had asked someone not to give my child sweets then they did. I'd be absolutely livid! X

They sound foul OP

i would stay away from them

I saw your update after I posted. The bit about 'laughing at pictures of kids crying' I do see videos online of kids having tantrums and I always think who posts that.

Not the same because it wasn't online but a picture of me was taken when I was about 4 throwing a huge tantrum - I remember it and I had good reason! That picture did the family rounds. Came out periodically and even made it out on my 21st to a big screen. When it found its way to the internet people laughed and it wasn't nice.

It is only now I have actually said to people delete that photo!

You think it’s acceptable to hold a bag of sweets (but could be anything) next to a child head (or anyone’s) while laughing. Knowing that you’ve been asked to not give any to them?

it’s taunting and mean behaviour. It was also early morning, it’s not unreasonable or PFB to say you don’t want your toddler to have Haribo for breakfast.

This.
You do realise their behaviour is NOT normal?

Mocking a sick upset child and putting a photo of them up on SM is NOT normal.

It is toxic however.

It’s not even as much about the child having sweets at this point though I don’t think, it’s the blatant disrespect of going against what the parents asked and the sneaking the child one and thinking it’s all so hilarious

I'd be furious about the Instagram thing. That feels like such a violation of your DDs privacy.

The sweets, I'd let go. We got away with DS never having a jelly until he was over 3yrs. But we knew it would eventually happen.

I don’t understand people being meh about the sweet thing. She or they deliberately went against your wishes. My sil is very similar (Dh’s sister) and once bought a whole bag of Haribo and was laughing with her Dd and saying how i’d go mad if they gave my 5 year old at the time, more. I never said to them they couldn’t, but my Dd goes nuts on sugar, which they knew and only has it sometimes and not a huge bag of bloody Haribo. It’s deliberately taking the piss and being an arsehole about it.
The posting of your wee girl to Sm as a joke, i’d be fuming
How old are they?? Sounds really immature, do you not get on with them?

To blatantly post a picture of your child is a huge no-no......it breaches all data protection rules.
And as for the mini haribos, they are extremely dangerous ito choking. They are both imbeciles and id have my say to them via email or message so it cannot be turned around by them. If they ever visit again I'd insist phones are locked away and not used in your home or around your child as they don't seem to understand English and cannot respect your conditions. Good luck

God help there kids poor buggers if they manage to have them. This is a great opportunity to fuck them off tho they must watch some very weird videos if this is there norm.

The photo thing is deeply weird but you are being completely PFB about the sweets

Gaslighting fu**ers! It is NOT common to laugh at small children crying! And they should not be posting photos of your child on the internet anyway, not in any context.

FYI wifes name is now really annoyed at you’

What an excellent opportunity for them to demonstrate the proper sense of humour - if your DH asks his brother for a photo of his pissed-off wife, I'm sure they'd find it very funny indeed if you then uploaded it to the internet for all eternity with some suitably hilarious hashtags. Maybe you should suggest it.

"FYI 'nasty wife & aunt' is really annoyed at you" Oh dear what a pity, never mind 😁Delete & block.

How old are they? They sound so immature

edited to say just seen mid 30s

super immature

Stick a photo of her looking rough on instagram and let rip about what a cow she is and what she did to an upset child. Get everyone to laugh at it and then make sure she knows. Seriously she sounds like a nasty cow. Bin her and your BIL off.

I think I’d put a picture of them on your social media with “most useless aunt and auntie ever” as the title. And when they complain say it was a joke and only your friends will see it.

Look, you have said that hubby plus yourself have never quite gelled with SIL and I honestly don't think she even vaguely likes you plus baby, who SIL with husbands tacit approval is horrible to because she can't do it to you two but an innocent trusting baby becomes fair game especially if you dislike the parents
She's got no respect or boundaries for either of you and I'm wondering just how well the two brothers really got on
I personally don't think they'll ever apologise for what's happened so if I were you I'd reiterate their wrongdoings to them and say you don't trust something worse to happen if ever they see your daughter again so you're cutting ties completely
Your SIL has a warped spiteful streak about her and thinks if she doesnt like you youre fair game; Give her no chances

Considering OP said there are other instances of similar behaviour I'd say they sound like a pair of assholes. Tell them that directly. If they don't adjust their behaviour and apologize then distance.

Exactly what I was going to say. Making fun on a child and that too on social media is disgusting!

Regardless of what's happened before, feelings about each other, parenting style etc - SHE WAS TOTALLY IN THE WRONG FOR POSTING IMAGES OF YOUR CHILD ONLINE - private account or not

Excuse the shouting but that's what I feel about it

I have great nieces and nephews in other countries , so do use SM for keep ups, and not one parent shows their child face on line

At first I did think it was weird, but the more Ive wised up myself about the dangers of SM and AI - Im totally behind them

Mocking a sick toddler the purposely giving her sweets that’s she’s not old enough to eat & that you’ve asked them several times not to give her is what normal right minded people do; and the fact that you specifically said you did not want her pictures put on social media is the cherry on the cake; what a vile pair; everything else aside what would tge pair of idiots have done if she had started choking? That would have been my first words to them Are you both stupid she could choke!! For me this would be a complete deal breaker if cut all contact with them & tell the rest of the family why they endangered your child’s welfare.

If it were me I’d message them and ask them to delete the photo from social
media, even if a private account. And then I’d not see them again. They sound utterly shit. If family are like this, you don’t have to chose them. If my family were this disrespectful, I would cut them out. You can have people around you who are nice, you don’t have to spend your time with shit people even if related. The sweet thing also isn’t ok; you’d just asked and they clearly did it then lied about it to undermine you as parents and show your daughter up as the but of a joke. Much like the table incident. Immature. I’d message them asking them to delete the photo and then cut them out of your lives and not waste your energy on them. They sound cruel and this is a red flag of utter time wasters in my book. I’m sorry this happened but at least it’s shown true colours. My family see the meltdowns but love the kids. Your kids don’t need to know family like that. They need friends who love them not undermine them and you. It speaks of some kind of jealousy and insecurity to me. I saw a dad doing a worse version of this to his son once on the bus and it broke my heart. When adults feel small. You have agency to tell them to bugger off out of your lives.