I have siblings and we are close but not to this extent. There's a long list of things that have been bothering me, and I don't know if I'm overthinking. Friends have given mixed opinions. A bit of background and a few examples....
Dh has one sibling, they are both late thirties. I like his sister, she is a nice woman.
When I first met dh, he told me he would never move in with me as I live too far away from his sister (20 min drive).
On a weekend away once his sister was sent to hospital with appendicitis and he was planning to leave our weekend away to go to the hospital, despite her having her parents and husband with her.
His mum regularly told me that 'sisters child' is dh's soulmate.
During an argument about something entirely unrelated, he randomly told me he would rather spend time with 'sisters child' than anyone else as they are easy company (aged 7).
He once told me his ideal woman is 'homely, girl next door vibes, just like sisters name' which is the complete opposite of me, I am a heavily tattooed and not conventionally good looking woman.
On two seperate occasions where I've invited sister and kids to join in activities with us and our kids, she's been unable to attend so asked to rearrange time or day, I've been unable to due to work, so instead of sticking to original plans with me, he's rearranged and done the activities with her and I've been left out despite it being my original plan, and despite me asking him not to as I really wanted to see the kids doing it.
A conversation where sister was showing me a scar on her stomach and how much she hated it, to try and make her feel better I said my stomach is covered in stretchmarks, dh pipes up with 'scars are cool as fuck, stretchmarks are ugly'.
Once we were staying in a log cabin in the middle of nowhere, and sat outside at night and a man was watching us from across the trees and it made me really uncomfortable, I asked dh to go and say something and he refused. At a later date when discussing it, he said 'of course if sister was there I would have gone and had a word with the bloke as she would have been scared'.
The next two have both happened this week, which is why I'm writing this now.
On Christmas day night, kids were in bed and we were getting intimate on the sofa, initiated by him, both partially undressed and clearly wantong to have sex, I asked if he'd like to move to the bedroom and he said 'no, I'm going to phone sisters name'.
His sister showed up to an event wearing something I loved, I told her I love it and that I had actually been considering buying it but hadn't (as dh had said it was tacky, I didnt tell her this part). After the party, dh was gushing about how great she looked and I reminded him he had said it was tacky when I wanted to buy it and he replied 'tacky on you but sisters name can pull everything off'.
I have tried talking to him about the last two but he said theres nothing to talk about and put his headphones in.
I hate myself for thinking badly of their relationship but there are loads more examples than what I've written here. Twice this week I've seen her come up to him, lean against him and rest her head on his shoulder and it honestly made me feel a bit sick.