Partner doesn’t want me to set my alarm earlier than his

Or, why doesn't he just get up at 6:30 and get his daughter ready?

Set your alarm and wave the asshole goodbye.
It's not like you are getting up at 4am, 6 o'clock is perfectly normal time for an adult with shit to do to get up.
If he thinks getting up at 7 and leaving the house at 7.30 is entirely doable, then I suspect that is because he is doing fuck all except getting himself out the door?
No reason you can't BOTH get up at 6.45 and he could use that 15 minutes he clearly thinks is spare to do something useful like make breakfast or help get her ready for school.

He needs to wear ear plugs. Or move out.

If you were setting your alarm for 5am to go for a run etc. I’d get his point

6.30 is not early for starters. It’s also the time you need to be up to get yourself ready

ridiculous comment by the bloke.

I feel really sorry for the child caught up in this. Dad doesn’t live them, then does. Then moves out again. Then moves in again. Poor bloody kid, all that instability and confusion and she’s only 8.

I think bottom line you need to do what works best for your child so they are in school on time, constantly being late will be difficult for them and combined with AUDHD may make them more anxious.

However having been on the partner side while my ADHD husband set multiple alarm/snoozed alarms I can't explain how immensely frustrating it was. He wasn't diagnosed then and our children weren't diagnosed so I was less aware of the impact and understanding but it still is awful to be around. Like I wouldn't mind my sleep being disturbed if he got up but he didn't on first alarm so i used to feel it was for no reason at all.

I wonder if you are also doing everything to help, are you going to bed early enough you can get up consistently so your body is in that routine? Or got into a pattern staying up late to decompress alone then being exhausted in morning? Do you have the systems in place in the morning so it's less hectic, everything ready and in place so there is no searching for items? Teaching your DD to stay in one place to dress etc.

In terms of practical tips I've found an alarm with "sunrise lighting" helpful for gentle but effective walking up particularly in darker months.

You don't have to ask , just do it! Why the heck doesn't he get up and help you anyway? It's his daughter too, he should be helping you with her care and wellbeing. He can't give you half an hour in the morning? He can always go to sleep half an hour earlier at night to make it up.

“He has told me…” “I have asked him…” WTF is this? A ten minute alarm? He can get to fuck, please stop being such a doormat to this tosser! That’s an abusive level of control and I bet it’s just one example of many…

If he goes to bed half an hour earlier, he can get up at 6.30 and still have the same amount of sleep.

This seems to me a reasonable compromise.

If he won’t agree to it, that tells you everything you need to know.

If he goes to bed half an hour earlier, he can get up at 6.30 and still have the same amount of sleep.

This seems to me a reasonable compromise.

If he won’t agree to it, that tells you everything you need to know.

Time to bin him off

Why is his need to sleep until 7 more important than your need to get up at 6:30? Couples deal with this all the time - what if you had a job that required you to leave the house at 7? Or at 6? If he genuinely can't work around the situation with ear plugs, etc. then separate rooms would be a more sensible solution that his moving out. As a side note, you shouldn't be asking for permission to set your alarm when you need to and he shouldn't be telling you you can't; your relationship should be based on mutual respect, compromise, and the understanding that BOTH of your needs are important.

He’s not your boss.

He can fit in or fuck off.

While that's a solution I think its more concerning how the partner is being so adamant about this and has moved out before because of it. Going forward I'd be more than a bit concerned.

OP has clearly stated this was not an option.

OMG! WTF! Seriously, what sort of relationship is it that you have to ASK to at an alarm clock! Just set it early and get your kid to school in time. Bering late every day is very disruptive and rude. Not fair on your kid. I’d get rid of him as I’m sure there are many other examples of his shining selfishness.

Why not change things up? You set off for work at 7.30. He gets your daughter ready for school then goes to work. See how he likes them apples.

Or he could get his lazy ass out of bed and get his child ready for school instead of leaving it all to OP and whining about being woken up.
Drama solved

Same! Getting your child to school on time must be your priority. Do what you need to do to achieve this.

Suggest DP goes to bed half hour earlier - that’s all you can do to help your partner. He can adjust to the new timings or move out.

He’s currently being very selfish and clearly doesn’t see your child as his priority or responsibility and is putting himself first. Someone needs to put your child’s needs above his, he certainly won’t, but you can.

Hes being ridiculous, set your alarm for when you need it. If hes not doing anything to help in the morning then there is no harm in him moving out.

I can’t quite believe he moved out previously because of an alarm 30mins before his! Set your alarm, get your child to school on time, he can move out again and pay maintenance if he doesn’t like it.

Buy a smartwatch and set the alarm to buzz on that. Drama solved.

My bastard ex used to flip out

I had to get up some mornings for 6am

He would lose his mind

He went on to do some very bad things

This is a HUGE RED FLAG

Sorry op xx

I am willing to bet this won’t the only area in your lives where he feels he is the one to be in charge.

you all have to do what works best for the family overall, and helping your dc not to be late is one of those times when he should suck it up if an earlier alarm helps for a smoother morning for her.

Are you going to work after the drop off? 06:30 sounds about right for your timings. And yes, why isn’t he helping with the morning routine?