Partner doesn’t want me to set my alarm earlier than his

He's her dad? And still prioritising himself above the needs of his daughter and her mother who is working her arse off to get her ready and out the door on time to school?

Tell him to get to fuck and get him out of your home.

If commenting only to the alarm situation. You can get a smart watch that vibrates or you can sleep in separate rooms or have knly one alarm and get up when it rings leaving him in the bed.

However, this is not about the alarm. He can't dictate what time you wake up. You don't need to ask permission when to set your alarm. He sounds controlling and not really understanding or contributing to family life.

You said he had to learn not to be disturbed by it. I find that to be a very selfish perspective and I'm very glad my husband isn't similar

Did you read the bit where I said he’s not disturbed by it? I do wear a smart watch, but it doesn’t help.

If it bothered him I am sure he would have mentioned it by now so we could work out how to fix it.

And being woken repeatedly for two hours may well have been terrible for you but my alarms are spaced over 40 minutes not two hours and my health and wellbeing is probably permanently affected by my terrible quality sleep-but ho hum these are the cards life dealt me!

Im guessing he also wants morning sex when he wakes up???

So what does this prince among men think the solution to getting his daughter to school on time is? Or is it fine for her to be persistently late because he will neither help himself or graciously allow you to set an earlier alarm to do it all yourself, on pain of his moving out?

Let me guess, you also work and do 90% of everything around the house?

As her dad he should be getting up earlier anyway and involved in the morning routine.

You don't need to ask for permission to set your alarm, you're a grown adult with as much rights as he has.

Let him move out, and he'll need to get up earlier on the days he has your dd.

My ex used to have a pre-alarm set to gently wake him so he could hit snooze, it just used to wake me up early and I found it really callous of him as I would be permanently tired . Is this the actual issue- that you are waking him up but not getting up yourself? If so you are being unreasonable

6.30 is a reasonable and normal time to wake up on a weekday. If he is so disturbed by this he moves out so be it, it’s weird behaviour. Choose to get your daughter to school on time over his comfort

There are ways you can wake yourself without disturbing him, my husband wears a smart watch for exactly this purpose. You can compromise it doesn't have to be all one way. Being repeatedly woken 2 hours before I needed to be up was terrible for my health and wellbeing and was actually impacting my heart condition. This seems a very selfish approach. I need to set multiple alarms don't care about anyone else it might affect they need to just deal with it.....

Hmm I'm on the fence, if your snoozing the clock and falling back asleep.
I set mine for 6.30 without snoozing. It's a hard task that you can learn to do. Pre children i'd snooze the alarm 5 times so I know that it can be learned.

Set your alarm for when it works best for you. When I had small DCs, I’d set mine for 6am so that I had half an hour to get ready before waking them up. Any noise I made when getting ready would help them to wake gently before they had to get up.
Handy tip - once you’re ready, which includes having everything ready that DD needs that day, have all your DDs clothes ready so when you go in and wake her you help her get dressed before she leaves her bedroom. Then toilet, wash, teeth before breakfast. No TV, no devices to distract. If she goes downstairs it’s a nightmare getting her ready!

you have to ask him permission to do things? Fuck that!

It’s not broken sleep though. It’s an alarm for 6.30am what is a more than normal time for an adult to be getting up for work

I use silent alarm (vibrate) on my Fitbit when I need to be up early. Maybe that would be an option. However, surely he should be helping get his child ready in the morning?

Not really no, for two reasons, I was like this 18 years ago when we met so it’s not like it’s a new thing, secondly he’s learnt to not be disturbed by it.

Obviously you 100% should set your alarm for when you need to wake up not for when your partner says you can, which sounds, as PP have said, very controlling of him. But broken sleep day in day out can be very disturbing. Can you get an alarm that just vibrates under your pillow rather than a noisy one that disturbs him?

You are an adult - you don't need to ask permission from anyone else as to when you can set your alarm for.

Can he wear ear plugs? if not then he can always move out.

He sounds abusive.

Do you not think it's unfair to your partner for them to be disturbed 6 times?

DH used to do this set an alarm earlier than he needed to get up and snooze it 3 times. It woke me up not him and much earlier than I needed to be awake. It was infuriating. Interestingly he's been recently diagnosed with ADHD. The solution was a smart watch, he can set as many alarms as he wants and it just vibrates on his wrist, it's actually more successful at waking him and doesn't wake me. He goes to the gym at 5:30 and ds gets up between 7 and 7:30 I don't need to be up that early.

What the fuck would he do if you had to get up to be in work for 7am??

I have ADHD, I have upwards of 6 alarms some days, I don’t sleep well-because of the ADHD and therefore I find it very hard to wake up. My DH wouldn’t dream of dictating to me what time I should set them for.

Sorry but why put up with this shit. Tell him to get the fuck up and help get the kid to school or fuck off. Get up when you want.

Seriously, a new year resolution. Don't put up with shit.

I have a Samsung watch, and it has a vibration alarm. This means it doesnt wake DH when I need to get up

That said - he seems to be an arsehole

Is this the usual dynamic - he announces what he "doesn't want" and you humbly beg permission to do anything else? Yeah, sod that.

Set it for the time you need to - put your phone on the other side of the room so you have to get up the first time. Why not put your outfit for the day in the living room or whatever, the night before? Then when the alarm goes off, you're up, into your dressing gown and out the door in seconds, without turning the light on, and DP can go back to sleep if he wants. Then shower and dress - having the outfit ready will make it easier to not get distracted.

And if that's not good enough for DP, get rid.

He sounds awfully controlling. You shouldn’t have to “ask” him if you can set your alarm for a certain time. Why does he get the over riding say? You need to set your alarm for the time that works for you and your daughter.
Im a teacher and hate when my boyfriend’s alarm goes off at 7.30 on weekdays when I’m off, but I just get over it and deal with it. This sort of thing is all part of sharing a life with someone, compromises need to be made!