Have I overstepped here and what do I do

I totally understand you trying to protect your friend who I think sounds vulnerable too even if she doesn’t meet the criteria per se for it. But she’s consenting & enjoying his attention despite how inappropriate or worrisome that may be to you OP. You also run the risk of your friend potentially getting into some kind of trouble from this man if he is exposed by you to his family. Not that you shouldn’t not whistleblow if you suspect abuse, but it’s sadly a very grey area & the phrase you’ll be prob confronted with is that she has the right to make bad decisions. It must be hard however to just sit back & watch your friend get taken advantage of & I think your intentions to try to help her were only good.

The replies on this thread are insane. Surely it's been taken over by trolls?

A view= an opinion.

Thank GOD you didn’t go with the idea to tell the daughter to check her dad’s messages. That would’ve been so twisted of you! Keep the daughter out of it completely the poor woman.
Stop running round trying to control your mate’s private life. Loads of people have depression and anxiety it doesn’t mean you can ring the bloody police.
Tell your mate to keep her sex life with Mr creep to herself- end of. Put your hand up and say ‘I’ll stop you there, I don’t want to hear about your latest wanking video. Watched anything good on the Tv lately?’

God no don't do that. I'd just back off now OP. You've been given a hard time by some commenters though, I'm assuming you're trying to do the right thing but don't let it backfire. It's not fair to involve the daughter but instead take the Mel Robbins approach and "Let Them". They both sound sick saddos anyway and I'd reassess the friendship if I were you.

@popdepop I take it the Op was looking for answers not 'attention'.

Is this the OP admitting to posting on MN for views/attention?

Stick to the facts, tell her the truth

He tried to turn up at the hospital?

This suggests either a deeper level of caring for her or a specific fetish for disabled people...

Which one do you think it is?

You want to tell his daughter to deal with this? How do you know she's not vulnerable too? How do you know he won't attack her in some way for outing him?
What on earth are you thinking OP?

😆😆😆

Says the person who has contacted someone's daughter over Facebook because he's having it away with your pal and you don't like it 😆😆

You have overstepped, and I think it’s because you disapprove. It’s fine to disapprove, I would too, but you aren’t describing a vulnerable person. It sounds like she has full capacity to me, but makes shitty choices.

I think it would be wrong to involve his daughter, and instead handle this with your friend / relative directly. Then step back.

You would forward videos of him wanking to his DD?

Wtaf is wrong with you?

OP would also then be at risk of being accused of revenege porn

Because she's not a victim. She's a consenting adult who makes poor decisions. And has poor boundaries apparently.

Personally I’d forward her the wanking videos. But I appreciate that would be a pretty strong kinetic take and it’s not the poor daughter’s fault.

You noted police said they cannot do anything ? She is diabetic and has depression, not LD or dementia

It's wild the number of women on this thread excusing a predatory man's behaviour and victim blaming the recipient of that.
Seriously, WTAF?

Legally : everyone ,even those with dementia are legally protected to making informed decisions (look up Mental capacity act, DOLs, Positive risks, etc)

Being diabetic and having depression is not a mental disability that means she cannot make her decisions .

Yes you are trying to get a friend but do not get yourself In legal trouble.

Wanting a daughter to go through her father's phone to see wanking videos is strange btw

I would tell his daughter . I am worried for my vulnerable friend that your father is sending questionable videos and messages to .

So has your friend showed you the videos? As surely you could get her into trouble as he hasn’t given consent? Or did he, given he wanted you to join in?

You asked if you have overstepped and yes, I think you have. Although your friend has depression and anxiety and a life limiting illness, if she has legal capacity, she still has the right to make her own (poor) choices. The police aren’t interested because based on what’s been said here, a crime hasn’t been committed. She’s of age and she’s consenting to the videos being sent to her. Yes, the man sounds like a sleaze but being a sleaze isn’t a criminal offence.

I think the best you can do is encourage your friend to see this for what it is but if she can’t or won’t, it’s not your responsibility.

As for the daughter, you don’t have to reply to the message.

I believe he can make a criminal complaint against you ! How is she vulnerable? That matters

Does she have capacity?
If so its her decision to message this man and you really shouldn't be getting involved, especially posting about him on facebook.
Im sure your friend could block his number if she didn't want these messages

Who is the ‘vulnerable’ person to you?