Have I overstepped here and what do I do

Also this, how swamped would ss be if everyone who had diabetes was classed as vulnerable and need their intervention with regards to sexual activity!

This, are you actually talking about a friend or is this you, as you have a huge huge level of information on everything he’s apparently done!

So why involve SS then?

Why would you suggest contacting adult social services if she's NOT vulnerable?!
OP said she's vulnerable but hasn't actually given any clear reason why other than she has depression and diabetes, neither of which would qualify her for adult social care involvement in this matter. You're suggesting contacting them - why?

I never said she was vulnerable?

OP is making social media posts and trying to get the police involved but the thing to do if you suspect something like this is to contact social services who can make that decision.

At least two posters have already suggested that but she’s ignoring them.

Woman likes to engage in less common sexual practises - vulnerable victim
Man indulges her - predatory abuser

There's a certain misogyny to this...

But where is the evidence she is vulnerable?

You do know adults have the right to make decisions that are bad for them don't you??

But that's her choice to involve herself, it doesn't make her vulnerable.

It's been asked a few times before but you haven't answered....WHY is she telling you all about him and showing you his naked videos and photos?

And did you go to the police behind her back or with her blessing?

I feel this is quite important but you keep ignoring it?

Contacting adult social services is the best thing. Instead of being rude about this man and making posts on social media, why don’t you do the one thing that will help her? Someone else suggested it further up the thread and you ignored them too.

Do you want to help her or do you want to insert yourself into someone else’s life more than is appropriate?

If you don’t want to phone them for whatever reason, fine, but be honest and stop obsessing over her then.

I think I’d say to the daughter that he’s messaging a very vulnerable friend of yours and that you’re worried about her. That may be enough for her to mention to him and even if he denies (which he will), it could worry him enough to stop.

It's not your role to choose suitable partners for her

Unless it's absolutely exceptional circumstances even severe anxiety and depression is unlikely to constitute lack of capacity. People are allowed to make unwise decisions.

I get you want to help your friend and try to prevent her getting into a mess, but you can't help someone who doesn't want help. I assume you've expressed your concerns? You don't have to fully back off- be there for her if she needs you. As for the guy, you have no idea of what his wife may know or consent to, so it's really none of your business. You see it as harmful, your friend presumably sees it as fun and exciting. And maybe knows the end will come and cause her misery, but simply not care for now. Being upset or even devastated isn't something we can, or necessarily should, avoid in life.

None of it is really your business or problem to solve though. Your friend has health challenges, poor judgement and form but is not someone who lacks mental capacity. Unless she was/is extremely distressed and asking for your urgent help why would you intervene?

Did she ask you to post on FB and does she know for example? That was a really daft thing to do. Even if you don’t reply to the daughter it may be she asks him about it or is also upset now in not knowing. It’s a grubby situation but you seem to have been on a mission here without any clear reason or mandate to undertake an intervention.

So not allowed to explore her sexuality?

I think if i was his wife I’d want to know what he’s doing. Ask if she can put you in contact?

Having poor physical and mental health doesn't mean a woman is unable to make her own decisions. You may not approve but if she has capacity, which I assume she does otherwise the police would have been taking action, you need to let her make her own decisions around relationships.

@AirheadMonent
I see you care for this woman and want this creep to back off.
However, from your description of her, this is a pattern, and if you manage to get rid of this fella, there'll be another.

For your own sake, it is worth realising that you can't stand and fight off every guy she brings in to her circle.
If you really want to help her, It would be a better spend of energy to get some professional advice for yourself, on practical ways you can support her while also minding yourself.
There's only so much you can do. I know it's hard to watch another person in self destructive behaviors.

Take care

I'm sympathetic to the vulnerable woman, but people have the right to make unwise choices

And man having a bit of fun with a woman who's hoping for a relationship is a story as old as time

I think OP is overstepping

Other than sending naked video's of himself to her, ( yes that's vile behind his wifes back ) what has he done?

You seem very involved!

Someone actually suggested sending the DD the videos!

Which is absolutely sick

You should contact Adult Safeguarding. And tell them that carers may be able to confirm some of the details.