Have I overstepped here and what do I do

A vulnerable adult refers to a person who is 18 years of age or older and lacks the functional, mental, or physical capacity to independently care for themselves. Additionally, it can describe someone who is unable to safeguard themselves from substantial harm or exploitation.

I looked up the definition of a vulnerable adult on our local government website and the definition is above.

She's unable to cook, clean the house, take care of herself. She can manage to do some laundry and tumble drying but not put it away. She can't do washing up. She was living on Quavers, jam and cream crackers before the hospital stay and carers coming in. They now give her microwave meals, sandwiches and instant porridge. There was a rats' nest in the kitchen. Droppings in the cookware. Mould in the bedroom. Spiders' webs and dust. She's been using a commode until recently (the boyfriend, as someone called him, wanted to see her on that too)

A vulnerable adult refers to a person who is 18 years of age or older and lacks the functional, mental, or physical capacity to independently care for themselves. Additionally, it can describe someone who is unable to safeguard themselves from substantial harm or exploitation.

I looked up the definition of a vulnerable adult on our local government website and the definition is above.

She's unable to cook, clean the house, take care of herself. She can manage to do some laundry and tumble drying but not put it away. She can't do washing up. She was living on Quavers, jam and cream crackers before the hospital stay and carers coming in. They now give her microwave meals, sandwiches and instant porridge. There was a rats' nest in the kitchen. Droppings in the cookware. Mould in the bedroom. Spiders' webs and dust. She's been using a commode until recently (the boyfriend, as someone called him, wanted to see her on that too)

No you are definitely implying depressed people can't consent

Neglecting her diabetes and sending money to men does not make her vulnerable. Plenty of people do stupid things. It doesn't make them vulnerable

A vulnerable adult refers to a person who is 18 years of age or older and lacks the functional, mental, or physical capacity to independently care for themselves. Additionally, it can describe someone who is unable to safeguard themselves from substantial harm or exploitation.

I looked up the definition of a vulnerable adult on our local government website and the definition is above.

She's unable to cook, clean the house, take care of herself. She can manage to do some laundry and tumble drying but not put it away. She can't do washing up. She was living on Quavers, jam and cream crackers before the hospital stay and carers coming in. They now give her microwave meals, sandwiches and instant porridge. There was a rats' nest in the kitchen. Droppings in the cookware. Mould in the bedroom. Spiders' webs and dust. She's been using a commode until recently (the boyfriend, as someone called him, wanted to see her on that too)

Jesus. "Can and does" does not equal every single depressed person ever. We are talking about this one individual who is housebound, has carers and has shown herself as vulnerable (ie by neglecting herself and sending money to nefarious individuals)

Such a ridiculous question set to minimise what I'm saying.

It's not discussing HER sex life or wanting to control her or stop her having a relationship. It's about HIM.

When I was a teenager I had a crush on a 19 year old. I met up with him accidentally over 15 years later and we went on a handful of dates. I got an uncomfortable feeling about him that I couldn't place and ended it after he was verbally abusive. He went ballistic and sent me bullying messages. Five years later he's in the papers for possession of images of child abuse and bestiality. So I'm well aware of weirdos and what they do and how they're in plain sight and how these things escalate and why I'm so involved or invested and unhinged and interfering concerned.

I wish she would have a good supportive relationship. Not a virtual one with a married father who's taking the piss out of his family and which many people on here seem to think is absolutely fine. Would you be cool with your husband doing this, saying he's entitled to a sex life?

That's not the point. The focus for me is him not her.

He's on social media making remarks about women and their bodies. He's a weirdo.

So people with depression can't consent to sex?

And actually, depression itself can and does affect cognition, ie decision making and executive function.

It's quite unusual for it to affect your legal mental capacity though.

I do see a problem in an informal chat based on what's said so far. It's embarrassing and undignified for this woman. Would you like it if a disingenuous moralising friend informally discussed your sex life with social services?

Falling for a scam doesn't mean you don't have capacity to make decisions in your private sex life.

It's quite unusual for it to affect your legal mental capacity though.

I do see a problem in an informal chat based on what's said so far. It's embarrassing and undignified for this woman. Would you like it if a disingenuous moralising friend informally discussed your sex life with social services?

Falling for a scam doesn't mean you don't have capacity to make decisions in your private sex life.

And actually, depression itself can and does affect cognition, ie decision making and executive function.

An example of a 'vulnerable' person in this scenario would be someone with a significant intellectual disability who couldn't reasonably understand the situation because of serious cognitive impairment. Or someone with advanced dementia. Or someone with a history of being sectioned for psychotic episodes who is showing potential indicators of mania or psychosis. Or someone with a serious drug habit who is potentially engaging in sexual acts for money so that they can afford to eat...