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Is this Facebook post reasonable or rude and ungrateful?

167 replies

Cantheowneroftheredcorsapleasemovetheircar · 01/01/2026 19:58

Opinions in the comments are split. What's yours?

YABU - rude and ungrateful
YANBU - understandable

Is this Facebook post reasonable or rude and ungrateful?
OP posts:
User8008135 · 01/01/2026 20:31

Reasonable. Sure its common sense that if you dump fridge stored food somewhere for someone to find, anything from 5 minutes to 2 days later (because how on earth could they know) its no longer safe for them to pass on- even if they could store it, which its unlikely they could? Its basic food hygiene 101

VikaOlson · 01/01/2026 20:29

stichguru · 01/01/2026 20:18

Depends how they ask for donations and how specific they are. If they have generally said they want donations and not mentioned anything or mentioned bread as a staple component, it's rude and ungrateful, as the problem is their lack of organisation is sorting/distributing donations.

If they have made it known that they can't take perishables, don't want bread at this time, or put out a list of what they would like that doesn't include bread because it goes off too fast and they can't keep up with it, or it's not what their clients want, then it isn't rude and ungrateful at all.

Even if they had specifically asked for fresh bread and sandwiches, leaving plastic bags of it outside overnight isn't 'donating' it's 'dumping'.

People know, whether it's a food bank or a charity shop, if you are making a donation you need to go inside and hand your donation over to someone or place it in a marked container.

Just leaving bags of stuff outside is fly tipping.

Phonicshaskilledmeoff · 01/01/2026 20:28

Imagine spending your free time organising a local food bank and when asking people not to donate certain things getting actual abuse and being called ungrateful. AND THEN the post going national!!!

Yes it might have been worded slightly more sensitively, but they will have asked people not to do this 100 times. At this time of year the food bank volunteers are run ragged. Ffs - these people are saints- cut them some slack.

VikaOlson · 01/01/2026 20:27

Why would anyone be grateful to have old food dumped and left outside overnight?

LamentableShoes · 01/01/2026 20:26

And tbh I think the wording is perfectly courteous, albeit blunt. Dressing things up in handwringing understatement doesn't get the message across.

MrDobbs · 01/01/2026 20:26

Lmnop22 · 01/01/2026 20:05

I think the sentiment is fine but the way it’s put is rude and ungrateful.

What about a post saying “we have had more than normal donations of things like bread/sandwiches lately and whilst we really appreciate the community support for the food bank, these aren’t the sorts of food we can easily distribute. Please bear in mind that packets/tins are preferred donations and anything else will unfortunately likely go to waste and cause extra work for those volunteering for the charity”

Much more polite but gets the point across rather than being rude to people who are clearly trying to to a good deed but went awry.

The original makes the point more effectively in fewer words.

Motnight · 01/01/2026 20:26

Dump unwanted and unusable food and just let a charity deal with it and what? Expect to be thanked as opposed to a request to stop?

It's a perfectly fine post.

xanthomelana · 01/01/2026 20:25

That’s the thing about facebook posts, texts etc, they are open to different interpretations. First time I read it I didn’t think it was rude but after reading the comments on this thread I read it again and understood how it could be seen as rude by others. Facebook is a crazy place though and someone will always be offended no matter how it’s worded.

somanychristmaslights · 01/01/2026 20:25

Understandable but rude. There are a lot of other nicer ways of saying please don’t.

Phonicshaskilledmeoff · 01/01/2026 20:24

TomatoSandwiches · 01/01/2026 20:03

Fruit, veg and bread not needed?

Can’t be used- they likely have no safe place to store it AND have no idea whether it’s been appropriately stored thus far.

LamentableShoes · 01/01/2026 20:23

petitpasta · 01/01/2026 20:12

Completely reasonable. I'm a food bank trustee and we have to pay commercial rates for our food waste to be taken away. Unusable food like this will literally cost them money to deal with. Money that could have been spent on fuel to pick up donations of usable food from supermarkets and to fill in gaps in donations if we run short of something..

And yes, before people come at me, people need food - but we can only open IF we have volunteers to run the sessions. If the food bank is closed then food needs to be donated via a donation point - and refrigerated food usually can't be used as we don't have a cold chain and we can't usually get it out to people before it's out of date.

Olio is the place to donate refrigerated items.

I'm kind of surprised anyone thinks it's an unreasonable post, for these reasons.

If people just see a charity as a dumping ground without bothering to take the time to find out whether what they're planning is a help or a hindrance then they're the problem and need to see this.

There was a thread a while ago with hundreds of posts telling a poster to simply donate unwanted toiletries to charities - even ones that listed what they could take and didn't include bath bombs etc. There is a point where you're just offloading the disposal of your things onto someone else because it makes you feel better.

Phonicshaskilledmeoff · 01/01/2026 20:23

TheCurious0range · 01/01/2026 20:18

The content is reasonable the tone is rude. The same message could've been delivered differently.

We know whoever is leaving bread and fresh produce is doing so with the best of intentions, but unfortunately we are unable to distribute out of date items and are having to bin most of it, which has led to us incurring additional waste removal charges. We appreciate the gesture but would ask that donations are shelf stored long date items such as tins and packets. We have other mechanisms in place for collecting and distributing fresh goods daily. Thanks all for your continued support blah blah blah

Guarantee they’ve asked nicely 20 times and are at the end of their tether.

Jijithecat · 01/01/2026 20:22

Perfectly fine. You can sense their exasperation. This isn't just a one off and causes them extra bother. Extra bother caused by a few individuals who have shifted their problem onto someone else and are probably patting themselves on the back for 'doing a good deed'.
The only thing I would maybe add to the message is to encourage the 'donor' to meet with the organisation so that they can chat through why this isn't appropriate. People tend to understand more when you can have back and forth conversation.

Phonicshaskilledmeoff · 01/01/2026 20:22

Food banks tend to be well run, well oiled machines. Providing fresh food that they haven’t asked for and have no idea how it has been stored is plain stupid.

stichguru · 01/01/2026 20:18

Depends how they ask for donations and how specific they are. If they have generally said they want donations and not mentioned anything or mentioned bread as a staple component, it's rude and ungrateful, as the problem is their lack of organisation is sorting/distributing donations.

If they have made it known that they can't take perishables, don't want bread at this time, or put out a list of what they would like that doesn't include bread because it goes off too fast and they can't keep up with it, or it's not what their clients want, then it isn't rude and ungrateful at all.

TheCurious0range · 01/01/2026 20:18

The content is reasonable the tone is rude. The same message could've been delivered differently.

We know whoever is leaving bread and fresh produce is doing so with the best of intentions, but unfortunately we are unable to distribute out of date items and are having to bin most of it, which has led to us incurring additional waste removal charges. We appreciate the gesture but would ask that donations are shelf stored long date items such as tins and packets. We have other mechanisms in place for collecting and distributing fresh goods daily. Thanks all for your continued support blah blah blah

TheNightingalesStarling · 01/01/2026 20:17

They have no idea on where the food comes from and how its been stored or treated. Its therefore unusuable.

TomatoSandwiches · 01/01/2026 20:16

I can't believe they have to pay commercial rates for food waste removal, is there no government scheme or tax rebate for this? They already rely on volunteers, that's a bit much.

WarmGreyHare · 01/01/2026 20:15

Poorly worded but the point they made was very valid.
People use food banks and charity shops as ways to clear out there cupboards and feel good about themselves, and expect the needy poor to be grateful for anything they get.
If a charity can't use your donation for any reason then they have to pay to dispose of it, that is the opposite of helping!

I do think the post should have been worded both more politely, but also more clearly. I didnt understand from that if they never take fresh foods (plenty of food banks don't as they don't have refrigeration, or it won't keep until the next distribution day) of they already have enough fresh food, or what.

Arlanymor · 01/01/2026 20:15

It needs to be direct to get through to people lacking in common sense - of course you don't dump food that needs to be kept refrigerated on the doorstep. Coupled with that it's costing them money to dispose of it because they pay commercial rates.

IPM · 01/01/2026 20:14

No-one needs to be grateful for having to pick up someone's shit off their doorstep.

And shit is exactly what it is since it could be contaminated by the time anyone needs to eat it.

HoppityBun · 01/01/2026 20:13

Lmnop22 · 01/01/2026 20:05

I think the sentiment is fine but the way it’s put is rude and ungrateful.

What about a post saying “we have had more than normal donations of things like bread/sandwiches lately and whilst we really appreciate the community support for the food bank, these aren’t the sorts of food we can easily distribute. Please bear in mind that packets/tins are preferred donations and anything else will unfortunately likely go to waste and cause extra work for those volunteering for the charity”

Much more polite but gets the point across rather than being rude to people who are clearly trying to to a good deed but went awry.

But the problem is not “more than normal amounts of bread and sandwiches.” The message clearly says that the charity organiser does not collect much bread because it’s a nuisance. There’s no point being mealy mouthed and dressing it up: bread and sandwiches are unhelpful. And leaving it out like that is simply thoughtless and lazy.

It’s like people who are too lazy to take items to a charity shop and leave toys and unwanted stuff out on the pavement for others to deal with. It gets rained on, peed on by dogs and just hangs around until the council is forced to take it.

petitpasta · 01/01/2026 20:12

Completely reasonable. I'm a food bank trustee and we have to pay commercial rates for our food waste to be taken away. Unusable food like this will literally cost them money to deal with. Money that could have been spent on fuel to pick up donations of usable food from supermarkets and to fill in gaps in donations if we run short of something..

And yes, before people come at me, people need food - but we can only open IF we have volunteers to run the sessions. If the food bank is closed then food needs to be donated via a donation point - and refrigerated food usually can't be used as we don't have a cold chain and we can't usually get it out to people before it's out of date.

Olio is the place to donate refrigerated items.

ThatCyanCat · 01/01/2026 20:12

It's a reasonable request but badly worded.

XenoBitch · 01/01/2026 20:12

Reasonable. The sort of food in that pic usually goes to things like community fridges/pantries.
This is just fly tipping really. Same as when people leave crap outside of charity shops. They are just passing the buck in the guise of a good deed, which turns out to be not so good when the charity has to pay to dispose of it.