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Is this Facebook post reasonable or rude and ungrateful?

167 replies

Cantheowneroftheredcorsapleasemovetheircar · 01/01/2026 19:58

Opinions in the comments are split. What's yours?

YABU - rude and ungrateful
YANBU - understandable

Is this Facebook post reasonable or rude and ungrateful?
OP posts:
Politicians247UnderwearExtinguishingService · 01/01/2026 21:44

TY78910 · 01/01/2026 20:43

The message is fine. The delivery is not professional for an organisation. It should have read more or less ‘thank you so much, we appreciate, a small ask is don’t put this in because of this and that. Once again thank you so much yada yada’. ‘Whoever is doing this can you please stop’ absolutely had me 😂😂😂

The problem with that is that the people who do this kind of thing unthinkingly - leaving perishables that need to be kept in the fridge, unsolicited and unannounced out overnight on somebody's doorstep - are the same kind of people who, at very best, would read the first six words of the message and no more, and would thus then keep on doing it with the cockles of their hearts unwittingly duly warmed.

The first rule of signs is that the only people who ever take the trouble to read them are the people for whom they were never required in the first place - and who then scratch their heads in puzzlement at why anybody could possibly need a sign to tell them something so stinking obvious as that.

The thing is that, although they will be running a tight ship and abiding by all of the rules and safety regulations, it's a bit misleading to call them 'professional', when all/most of their workers are volunteers.

These are extremely kind people who are giving up their own time, energy and probably indirectly money as well, in order to do something amazing and helpful in the community. It's one thing that the vast majority of the people who live in the community and who would potentially have time to volunteer to help don't do so; but for them to be doing something so obviously stupid to thwart and add unnecessarily to the workload of the very tiny minority of people who DO volunteer and give so much of themselves is actually quite a nasty thing to do, really.

Like the charity shop fly-tippers, we like to assume that people have good intentions and are just foolish and unthinking; but there are plenty of people out there who would quite knowingly and unashamedly seize on 'doing a good thing' as an ideal excuse to save themselves some time and/or money and space in their own bins. As long as they're alright, that's all that matters.

TwoTuesday · 01/01/2026 21:41

Completely reasonable. Would the donor want to eat food that had been dumped on a doorstep? Rats could have peed on it for a start.

Strawberrydelight78 · 01/01/2026 21:36

pteromum · 01/01/2026 20:54

A bit like the thread when the OP was cross at her husband for using a community waste project.

this food should be going in that. Where people can collect it for animal or themselves but a WASTE project not a foodbank. Where this should not happen

It’s a community centre so that’s probably what this is. We have a community fridge in our local community centre. They sometimes post at night to say they have collected a load of food and need stuff like bread collected as it doesn’t stay edible for long past the sell by date.

kαλοκαλοκαιρι · 01/01/2026 21:35

LamentableShoes · 01/01/2026 20:35

That's a really good way of looking at it.

thankyou, it wasnt me being holier than thou, i have definitely been in the former camp, i find this kind of question quite useful in helping me assess my motivations

Namechange568899542 · 01/01/2026 21:32

The premise is understandable but I think it could’ve been worded better given the person doing it likely has good intentions but just ill thought out.

Strawberrydelight78 · 01/01/2026 21:32

That’s not unreasonable they can’t pass that food on because they don’t know how long it has been left there for. It attracts vermin and they don’t know if animals or humans have urinated on it. It will attract birds especially seagulls. It’s a heath and safety risk to use that food. Would you want to eat it? I wouldn’t ungrateful absolutely not. I get the feeling the OP is the person donating.

Newusernameforthiss · 01/01/2026 21:31

It's totally reasonable. They probably have about 50 nicely worded, polite, kind notices saying "please don't bring perishable food, tons and packets only, thanks so much"... People don't read things! They just don't!!

So they've resorted to this and if it stops the volunteers having to waste their time and the food banks money to get rid of these useless "donations" that's a good thing 🤷🏻‍♀️

Cookingupmyfirstbornson · 01/01/2026 21:29

The update post and comments are ridiculous

hufngids · 01/01/2026 21:25

HardworkSendHelp · 01/01/2026 20:00

Totally reasonable post. You cannot dump food like that outside a food bank. It will end up costing the charity money to get rid of it.

Agree. Food needs to be safe to eat and the recipients will have no idea if it has been kept refrigerated or not and who has handled it. They may not have the space to store food overnight and so on. The note could be more polite but we have no idea whether they’ve been trying to stop it and been ignored.

Iwantamarshmallowman · 01/01/2026 21:25

Totally reasonable this happend at our church with a rouge olio rep who kept dumping out of date food outside our door. When we tried to give it away without realising it was out of date we got absolutely flamed on Facebook. when we tried to appologise and explain what happend we were trolled by friends of the person who had dumped it there. we had to contact olio who suspended the person's account. we are also constantly having to deal with people dumping broken toys and nasty books outside. we have to pay to have it taken away. this isn't someone trying to help its somone dumping their old shit.

TheFormidableMrsC · 01/01/2026 21:22

I get it but it could have been worded better. While the intention of the dumper is good, it’s a problem for the church and they are right to point that out. We have a local community of people who distribute food to the homeless, including end of day food that supermarkets would otherwise just throw but is perfectly good to eat. That would be a better use of it. I think it’s fair for the church to point out that it’s not ok.

TappyGilmore · 01/01/2026 21:21

Totally reasonable and I can’t understand how anyone would think otherwise.

If someone has sandwiches to donate, it’s not hard to get in contact and discuss how it could be done to make sure that they can be used, and aren’t wasted. (And it may be that this particular charity can’t take them, but they might know of someone who can.)

Everyone knows that charities who get stuff dumped on their doorstep then end up paying to dispose of it correctly (and there will be time involved as well as monetary costs). That’s why charity shops ask that you don’t leave stuff on the doorstep while they are closed.

And actually I wouldn’t even say that the post is rude or badly worded.

VikaOlson · 01/01/2026 21:15

Livelovebehappy · 01/01/2026 21:14

Agree with the sentiment of the message, but it’s really badly worded. It comes across as aggressive towards someone whose actions are coming from a good place. Surely it could have been worded with a softer tone.

What makes you think their actions are coming from a good place though?

They're not donating the out of date sandwiches in the normal way because they know the food bank would reject them... they're quietly dumping them outside when the place is empty.

Livelovebehappy · 01/01/2026 21:14

Agree with the sentiment of the message, but it’s really badly worded. It comes across as aggressive towards someone whose actions are coming from a good place. Surely it could have been worded with a softer tone.

Funnywonder · 01/01/2026 21:10

VikaOlson · 01/01/2026 21:01

If it stopped you dumping loads of food and wasting the food bank's time and money, it would be job done though.

Oh it would definitely stop me. So yes😅

BoxesBoxesEverywhere · 01/01/2026 21:10

Although I agree there's a way of wording things.. The excessive use of exclamation marks seems a tad aggressive 😬

jen337 · 01/01/2026 21:09

Beggars can’t be choosers.

Haha, no, it’s pretty obvious that you don’t donate perishable foods to a food bank. Probably why the donor dumped it outside than when staff were there to refuse them.

InboxOverload · 01/01/2026 21:08

TomatoSandwiches · 01/01/2026 20:03

Fruit, veg and bread not needed?

Because they my go out collect, they don’t need donations. It will be to do with storage space and not having more than they need before it goes out of date.

BoxesBoxesEverywhere · 01/01/2026 21:08

I like to donate to foodbanks and don't think it's unreasonable at all. Bread is perishable so will go off easily so not a good thing to donate, surely better to let people know not to than for them to keep donating it?

TY78910 · 01/01/2026 21:06

Jijithecat · 01/01/2026 20:46

Have you seen all of their social media? Do you know that they didn't start out all softly softly?

Nope!! Didn’t realise they were… high profile

Eyeshadow · 01/01/2026 21:05

ThatCyanCat · 01/01/2026 20:12

It's a reasonable request but badly worded.

I agree.

I understand what they’re trying to say but you can say it in a way that’s not rude and still be grateful.

This is coming across as quite rude. The person is obviously trying to do a nice thing.

If it was me I would also recommend places to donate fresh products too aswell.

angelfacecuti75 · 01/01/2026 21:04

My friend got in trouble for running a food bank set up from her house. She was helping a lot of people , and left it outside in cool boxes and various containers. It attracted vermin, foxes , complaints from neighbours ...and she needed to be registered as a food business with a food licence. The charity could have worded it better but these are similar concerns to the above and vermin etc cause disease and may affect the people who eat it , thus so ...^

VikaOlson · 01/01/2026 21:01

Funnywonder · 01/01/2026 21:00

Completely fine to point it out, but I think the wording is a little brusque. If I was the one who had left the sandwiches, I would feel like a naughty schoolchild after that finger wagging post😅

If it stopped you dumping loads of food and wasting the food bank's time and money, it would be job done though.

Funnywonder · 01/01/2026 21:00

Completely fine to point it out, but I think the wording is a little brusque. If I was the one who had left the sandwiches, I would feel like a naughty schoolchild after that finger wagging post😅

MILLYmo0se · 01/01/2026 20:59

By The tone I'm wondering if they have said this more than once already. I don't understand why people do this, if the food bank can't take it just put it up on a local FB group and put it outside your own door for people to collect.
There a charity type shop here that donates to projects in the community and the poor woman that owns it is demented asking people not to leave stuff outside the door at night or when the shop is closed, either good stuff is ruined in the rain or people are dumping mouldy baby gear and electricals that the shop has to then organise and pay for disposal of