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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel I’ll never conquer my messiness?

129 replies

Manifestingapersonalitychange · 01/01/2026 19:41

On the face of it, I’m an intelligent, responsible parent and professional with a successful career.

but my home is a disaster zone. I can never get on top of housework or clutter.

I suspect I have ADHD ( have 1 ND DC) which may explain it.

im just so sick of living in chaos, but don’t know if I’ll ever change - am now in 40’s and feel like I still live like a messy student. It’s got to the point that I have to invite people to my home to spark a clear up.

id love to be able to invite people round on a whim, but if im not expecting guests, my home is a tip!

AIBU to just give up and accept this?

or could I do something that will change me?

OP posts:
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jjeoreo · 01/01/2026 19:56

Also here as I feel similar. We have a cleaner but so much stuff. Someday I feel like all I do is cook and clean and it's bums me out as after all these years I'm just not good at it
(Cooking I'm ok at)

PhantomAfternoonTea · 01/01/2026 19:54

I could have written your post, so I'm here for the tips!

tinybeautiful · 01/01/2026 19:54

This is me. Literally had a cry today about how unmanageable the house feels. It is a constant battle and I've tried every strategy but it just doesnt work for my brain. Solidarity x

vincettenoir · 01/01/2026 19:52

If you are ND then tidying up as you along yourself and having a designated place for all your stuff won’t come naturally to you and that’s completely understandable.

But I wouldn’t feel completely defeated. It may help to enforce a routine where you have a good blitz once a week.

My house is generally tidy and I give the floors a regular clean. But if you look in my cupboards and drawers it’s absolute chaos.

You are probably right to assume you will never be a super organised person who takes housework in their stride. But you can probably get to a better place than you are now, if you’re not happy with how things are going.